Taking ex back for contempt (questions)

[wavehopper27]

If you are allowed to relocate be prepared for 2 things:

1. Paying all costs transporting junior to and from dad's for visitation.

2. You will have to travel to Ohio for all child related court issues as long as dad continues to live there.

 

[CJane]

If you are allowed to relocate be prepared for 2 things:

1. Paying all costs transporting junior to and from dad's for visitation.

2. You will have to travel to Ohio for all child related court issues as long as dad continues to live there.

Mom CURRENTLY lives 20 minutes from Dad.
Mom is MOVING to a location 25 minutes from Dad, but in the opposite direction.

There is no reason to expect that the costs of transportation - or how transportation is allocated in the order - will change. Nor has Mom said a word about leaving Ohio.

 

[ogal]

Thank you CJane. I am not moving any further away than I already am. Just moving the opposite direction. I already provide most of the transportation due to ex not having a valid drivers license. I am willing to take the gable of my ex getting custody if the judge finds in his favor but I'm not moving out Of state just another direction.

The court order states the child must be at the Y while either of us is working. Which isn't in question. But also exchange must take place at 7:30 am Thursday and Friday am. I'm definitely not, not trying to follow the court order but wondered if I would be in contempt for dropping our son off at the Y when I am at work. It's hard to be at the drop off at 7:30 and work. That's all. To me this isn't a big deal because ex doesn't show 1/2 the time to pick up the child for his visitation and I end up dropping our son off at the Y by 8 because he no showed. But legally is all I'm worried about.Thank you.

 

[CJane]

If you're ordered to have the child at the Y while you're working, and your work scheduled requires you to be in at 7 - then you're obligated to follow the court order and have the child at the Y. Yes, exchanges happen at 730, and YES the order says that they should take place at the gas station (or whatever) and you can't be there at 730... but the SPIRIT of the order is to exchange the child at a neutral location at 730 and he's just as capable of picking up at the Y as he is the gas station.

Drop your child off at the Y and go to work. Expect him to be a jerk about it. Keep doing the right thing anyway.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you CJane. I am not moving any further away than I already am. Just moving the opposite direction. I already provide most of the transportation due to ex not having a valid drivers license. I am willing to take the gable of my ex getting custody if the judge finds in his favor but I'm not moving out Of state just another direction.

The court order states the child must be at the Y while either of us is working. Which isn't in question. But also exchange must take place at 7:30 am Thursday and Friday am. I'm definitely not, not trying to follow the court order but wondered if I would be in contempt for dropping our son off at the Y when I am at work. It's hard to be at the drop off at 7:30 and work. That's all. To me this isn't a big deal because ex doesn't show 1/2 the time to pick up the child for his visitation and I end up dropping our son off at the Y by 8 because he no showed. But legally is all I'm worried about.Thank you.

What is the exact wording? It is possible you could be found in contempt which is why your attorney should file for an immediate modification of drop off times to be maybe the evening before or something else.

 

[ogal]

I have filed for relocation but not modification of the order. My lawyer stated a month ago that the courts prolly are not going to change anything with our current order until the psych eval report is out.

Just as an FYI if my ex does pick up from me on a Thursday AM, which is rare because I either get a text at 7 am to drop our son off at the Y or when he picks him up 20 min late he takes him right to the Y. So it's not even like our son is at the Y then his dad picks him up. He is just doing this to be a jerk. I just wanna make sure I'm legal.

 

[CJane]

I have filed for relocation but not modification of the order. My lawyer stated a month ago that the courts prolly are not going to change anything with our current order until the psych eval report is out.

Just as an FYI if my ex does pick up from me on a Thursday AM, which is rare because I either get a text at 7 am to drop our son off at the Y or when he picks him up 20 min late he takes him right to the Y. So it's not even like our son is at the Y then his dad picks him up. He is just doing this to be a jerk. I just wanna make sure I'm legal.

If you are ordered to use the Y as daycare while you're at work, then drop your child off at the Y and go to work. The ONLY way Dad would have a leg to stand on - given his shenanigans - for holding you in contempt would be if he was UNABLE to get the child at 730. He's not unable.

Doesn't mean he won't be a jerk about it, but it isn't something that I can even imagine you'd be dinged for.

 

[ogal]

UPDATE: I just wanted to give an update on my case. The judge just stepped down from the case earlier in the week because my ex was trying to socialize with him at a local restaurant and buy him drinks and also because the judge is involved in a community group with my sis in law and felt it was best to recuse himself as the judge. So a judge from an outside county will be following our case now. just to highlight everyone who might have missed something. My sons babysitter quit because of my ex harassing her, the GAL stepped down because my ex filed a grievance against her, the magistrate stepped down, and now the judge. Also my ex's 4th lawyer has quit and he is now on his 5th. Has anyone else ever experience these kinds of delays in their case. I filed for custody Dec 2012 and its still just hanging with no answers or responses on any of my motions. I fell like everyone is scared of my ex and nobody wants to deal with our case.

My lawyer did file my motion again for relocation and a motion to modify the current court order. I doubt any decisions will be made though until the psychological eval is released. Which it has been completed BUT no ruling has been made as to whom is going to pay it yet. From the beginning the judge said my ex is to pay it since he requested, it BUT now we have to go to court again for a ruling because he's fighting it. It could be done but my ex keeps stalling by firing a lawyer or going pro se for a bit and just holding up the courts. And a new lawyer will have to get familiar with the case and it's like we go to court to just file another continuance. He is just trying to break me until I give up.

I have already started my new job, and half moved, but my house is still for sale where I lived previously. I am still following my current order and plan to until new ones are made but I feel like new orders will never be made. Our son will be 5 in August and still there has been no arrangement to enroll in school or start school. He could be in Kindergarten but I think he should just go to preschool or a pre K program. Not because he's slow but because he is a boy and if he starts now he will graduate when he is 17. What if there is no ruling made by then. Does he just not get to be in school then? Im just so blown away by all this and having an overwhelming week.

 

[ogal]

I had court today with a new judge and my ex was ordered to pay the entire psych eval. I had hoped he would be ordered to pay since he wanted it. I have a temp custody hearing in a couple weeks because today we couldn't agree on a school district. The ex is still trying to push a school district neither one of us live or work in. IDK. I say the school district I am moving to and work in. Seems reasonable. Also since the last time my ex has been fired from his old job and now works an hour and 45 minutes away from where I am moving. He's clearly upset but this was his choice not mine. Just giving an update since this is the longest case in history.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Don't know about you having the longest case - mine was pretty lengthy. My advice, document, document, document. It seems like you have it under control for the moment. And how does it work to place a child in a school district where neither parent lives? Does it become a tuition based presence? I would check into that.

 

[GrandmaOH]

Don't know about you having the longest case - mine was pretty lengthy. My advice, document, document, document. It seems like you have it under control for the moment. And how does it work to place a child in a school district where neither parent lives? Does it become a tuition based presence? I would check into that.

Many schools in Ohio have open enrollment where adjoining districts have agreements to take students from the district next door. Transportation is usually not provided unless the child is transported to a bus stop in the receiving school district. There is no cost. It is subject to the receiving school having room for the child.

 

[LdiJ]

Many schools in Ohio have open enrollment where adjoining districts have agreements to take students from the district next door. Transportation is usually not provided unless the child is transported to a bus stop in the receiving school district. There is no cost. It is subject to the receiving school having room for the child.

Its still something that needs to be researched and clarified to make sure. In this scenario however I really don't think it should be a factor.

At most, dad will be needing to take the child to school once a week, and mom will be responsible for the rest of the time.

Mom, you need to get that Thursday morning exchange changed to Thursday after school. It would be absurd to exchange the child on Thursday mornings when the child is just going to be going straight to school that day.

 

[ogal]

I hoping before the end of the month I have new temp custory order that addresses school district and a new visitation scheule. Actually my ex and I had been getting along the past 3 weeks. He had been letting me keep our son if I was off work while he went to work and then I would meet him after he got off so he could utilize basically 8pm till 7am the next day. Whatever. I didn't like it becuase I felt like it was a lot of shuffling around, but I did it because he allowd me to keep our son while he was at work. I also had been giving his some of my time because it was the only time he would actually get to see him. Well since hes mad at me now for having to pay the psyh eval that he didn't allow me to keep our son today. He's at work and grandpa picked up the child and took him to daycare for 12 hours while I sit at home. I get he can do what he wants with our son on his time but I also think its crap.. 2 weeks I keep telling myself and I hope a judge sees thru him. He hasn't and doesnt utilize the time he has now but doesnt want me to have the time either.

On the school district issue I want my son to be enrolled in the school district I've moved to and work in and my ex wants our son to go to a school that neither of us live or work in and he wants a private school. I feel thats silly. Even more so that my ex can't even provide transportation for these and he works 14 hours a day, but I actually have to have a contested hearing on this because we can't agree.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Present the school as the father's attempt to control YOU since he is unable to provide any transportation due to HIS schedule. Be prepared to show that your school is adequate.

 

[ogal]

Any advice on what would be a fair visitation schedule for us moving forward? I work 2 12's a week 7am-7pm. I usually make my own schedule and its pretty flexible. I am a RN and we self schedule and also live 15 min away from my job. His dad works Monday, Tuesday, Thursday 8am-7pm, and Wednesday, Friday and every Saturday 8am-6pm. He works an hour and 45 minutes away from where I am moving and lives 20-25 minutes away from us currently and will stay 20-25 minutes after we move. I just would like input on a visitation schedule that would maximize time with both parents. Previously 2 weeks before court he was giving up most of his weekday time due to his work schedule. But since after court he has been taking it and letting his parents pick up and drop off our son. Which is in the court documents they can't but he clearly has problems with authority. Thanks in advance.