teen wants to live with mom

[1673mommy]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?ohio
I have had custody of my daughter who is now 15 all her life,up until two years ago.As all children usually do she begged me to live with her dad.for years,until she was 13 i finally said ok if this is what she really wanted and if she would be happier there.She finds out maybe after a year there it's not as good as she thought it would be.Her dad and stepmother have 4 younger children and they use her as the babysitter.She has no social life like a normal 15 year old should.Her dad went out and bought her a car and then told her she would have to babysit to pay for it.Her stepmother has called her several names that are not appropriate for an adult to call a child.My daughter told her dad she doesn't want to live with him and she wants to live with me [her mother].I let her live there because i thought it was in her best interest.I don't believe this to be true now.I hate seeing my daughter like this,she is a really good kid and this is really causing her to have alot of anxiety.Probably from watching the 4 kids all the time.When she moved there it was a shared parenting plan.What do i need to do to get her back home?Thank you for your time.

 

[djohnson]

What does your current order say? Did you change it when she went to live with him? Have you discussed it with him?

As a side note, I don't think asking her to babysit in order to pay for her car is too much, despite what a 15 yr old would think. I think it teaches responsibility.

 

[VeronicaGia]

This is why children are called "children" and adults are called "adults." You let the child make a decision that was better left for adults. This is why children should not be able to decide such things.

 

[1673mommy]

He didn't ask her to babysit.He told her she was going to.Before he got the car he asked her if she wanted to babysit and she said no,then he went and bought the car.now he says he cant work to pay for it because she wont babysit.Whoever thinks this is right there is something wrong.what about the name calling?is this ok too? Does it teach her responsibility also.HMMMM! and from the first poster,i did discuss it with him and he said she doesn't know what she wants and isnt old enough to decide,but 2 years ago when she was thirteen he sure thought she was old enough when she wanted to move in with him.

 

[djohnson]

He didn't ask her to babysit.He told her she was going to.Before he got the car he asked her if she wanted to babysit and she said no,then he went and bought the car.now he says he cant work to pay for it because she wont babysit.Whoever thinks this is right there is something wrong.what about the name calling?is this ok too? Does it teach her responsibility also.HMMMM!

You don't have to get touchy. I never said he was all in the right. I'm just pointing out, that it's not all bad and with a teen that age, the have a tendancy to tell stories to fit their needs. Have you talked to the dad? SM? If he has to work do you really think having her babysit is asking too much? Do you really think she needs no responsibilities and to run free and have a car?

Just trying to point out some problems that won't hold. If he fights you for her, the judge will see these things too and coming off that touchy will not look good for you. they will say much harsher things.

 

[VeronicaGia]

He didn't ask her to babysit.He told her she was going to.Before he got the car he asked her if she wanted to babysit and she said no,then he went and bought the car.now he says he cant work to pay for it because she wont babysit.Whoever thinks this is right there is something wrong.what about the name calling?is this ok too? Does it teach her responsibility also.HMMMM! and from the first poster,i did discuss it with him and he said she doesn't know what she wants and isnt old enough to decide,but 2 years ago when she was thirteen he sure thought she was old enough when she wanted to move in with him.

He probably also tells her to brush her teeth, go to school, and to be home on time. And?

He is trying to teach her responsibility...cars aren't cheap. He said, here's a car, you have to work for it, babysitting will be the work. She declined, so no care. He wasn't under any obligation to buy a car, so she loses.

As far as the name calling, prove it. This is, once again, why children should not be able to make these decisions. Live and learn.