Okay there is a court order then for dad to have custody.
What is the name of your state? Florida. My husband has custody of my 14 and 17 year old sons.
Then you go back to court if dad will not agree.
The boys no longer want to live with their father, they want to have some Mom time as they call it.
Good. A parent should financially support their children and carrying insurance is just smart whether ordered or not.
We have open and regular visitation, I pay child support and carry the insurance on my boys.
That is good.
They have their own rooms and life at my house as well as at their fathers even though I do live 2 hours from them.
Quite frankly he doesn't have to give them up. You have to go back to court and fight. Of course the time it would take would probably be longer than the 17 year old has until he turns 18.
They have told him that they want to come live with me and he says he understands but in his words, "I'm selfish and don't want to give them up."
Then you need to explain that they get that choice when they turn 18 and are no longer considered a child. CHILDREN do not get to make that decision in your state.
This is turning into a battle because my sons say they should have the right at their age to decide where they want to live.
Which dad should do because these kids have no business running away. And you are not allowed to encourage them or ignore the fact that they are saying this. You also need to explain to them that there is a court order and you can go back to court to try to get custody switched but they are to follow the court order or YOU could get in trouble.
They have even threatened to run away to my house and their Dad just says that he'll call the police on them.
THEY ARE KIDS! They have NO right to make such a decision and you encouraging them or allowing them would put you in contempt of court. There is a court order that must be followed. Law enforcement could arrest them for running away. If they do it enough they end up in juvenile hall. And you could get in trouble with the courts as well which would sink any chance you might have for custody.
I plan to call my local law enforcement about that issue but need to know if I need a lawyer or can they just make the decision on their own or what?What is the name of your state?
If dad won't agree, you will have to go back to court and fight for custody -- a process which could take a year -- meaning the 17 year old would become a legal adult and be able to choose during that time anyway.
Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.
Attorney-GAL in Ohio.
I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.