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  1. #1
    kendt002 is offline Junior Member
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    Exclamation Teenage sons want to live with non-custodial parent

    What is the name of your state? Florida. My husband has custody of my 14 and 17 year old sons. The boys no longer want to live with their father, they want to have some Mom time as they call it. We have open and regular visitation, I pay child support and carry the insurance on my boys. They have their own rooms and life at my house as well as at their fathers even though I do live 2 hours from them. They have told him that they want to come live with me and he says he understands but in his words, "I'm selfish and don't want to give them up." This is turning into a battle because my sons say they should have the right at their age to decide where they want to live. They have even threatened to run away to my house and their Dad just says that he'll call the police on them. I plan to call my local law enforcement about that issue but need to know if I need a lawyer or can they just make the decision on their own or what?What is the name of your state?
  2. #2
    Dadx2kids4n8 is offline Member
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    Ms. Just a side thought from one parent to another-is it possible your boys are feeling the sting of teenage blues and the grip of discipline from their father is beginning to cause a ripple and distort their view? My sons go through these all the time ages 4-8-15. They influence one another and against my suggestions, their mother has been the opposite to what I am and it's embattled their immature feelings as to who they should show their alligence to. I'm not critisizing your ability or mothering-I don't even know you. It's just that it's so reflective of what I am seeing with my sons. My wife and I are not good at separating ourselves from emotional upheavals. We try to be the parent of choice but in my area-I'm constantly seeing their disrespect but also on thier mothers side too. Please just consider the love that's difficult to give when you have to be the bad guy all the time-dad can I? No. It's constant and I worry but they know there's no flexability with me. But it's possible with her. You may be different. But just from one to another-did you ever consider this? Sorry to but in-me leaving now. Hope it works out for all of you!
  3. #3
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by kendt002 View Post
    What is the name of your state? Florida. My husband has custody of my 14 and 17 year old sons. The boys no longer want to live with their father, they want to have some Mom time as they call it. We have open and regular visitation, I pay child support and carry the insurance on my boys. They have their own rooms and life at my house as well as at their fathers even though I do live 2 hours from them. They have told him that they want to come live with me and he says he understands but in his words, "I'm selfish and don't want to give them up." This is turning into a battle because my sons say they should have the right at their age to decide where they want to live. They have even threatened to run away to my house and their Dad just says that he'll call the police on them. I plan to call my local law enforcement about that issue but need to know if I need a lawyer or can they just make the decision on their own or what?What is the name of your state?
    You would have to file for custody. It would be best to have an attorney. The kids will not get to choose, but their wishes may be given some weight by the judge....particularly for the 17 year old.

    If you want there to be any chance of a decision before the start of the next school year, you need to jump on this immediately.
  4. #4
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    What is the name of your state? Florida. My husband has custody of my 14 and 17 year old sons.
    Okay there is a court order then for dad to have custody.

    The boys no longer want to live with their father, they want to have some Mom time as they call it.
    Then you go back to court if dad will not agree.


    We have open and regular visitation, I pay child support and carry the insurance on my boys.
    Good. A parent should financially support their children and carrying insurance is just smart whether ordered or not.


    They have their own rooms and life at my house as well as at their fathers even though I do live 2 hours from them.
    That is good.


    They have told him that they want to come live with me and he says he understands but in his words, "I'm selfish and don't want to give them up."
    Quite frankly he doesn't have to give them up. You have to go back to court and fight. Of course the time it would take would probably be longer than the 17 year old has until he turns 18.


    This is turning into a battle because my sons say they should have the right at their age to decide where they want to live.
    Then you need to explain that they get that choice when they turn 18 and are no longer considered a child. CHILDREN do not get to make that decision in your state.


    They have even threatened to run away to my house and their Dad just says that he'll call the police on them.
    Which dad should do because these kids have no business running away. And you are not allowed to encourage them or ignore the fact that they are saying this. You also need to explain to them that there is a court order and you can go back to court to try to get custody switched but they are to follow the court order or YOU could get in trouble.

    I plan to call my local law enforcement about that issue but need to know if I need a lawyer or can they just make the decision on their own or what?What is the name of your state?
    THEY ARE KIDS! They have NO right to make such a decision and you encouraging them or allowing them would put you in contempt of court. There is a court order that must be followed. Law enforcement could arrest them for running away. If they do it enough they end up in juvenile hall. And you could get in trouble with the courts as well which would sink any chance you might have for custody.
    If dad won't agree, you will have to go back to court and fight for custody -- a process which could take a year -- meaning the 17 year old would become a legal adult and be able to choose during that time anyway.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.

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