Teenager Would Rather Live With Mother, Help?

[michaelgibbs]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

My name is Michael, I am 16 years old and live in the state of Pennsylvania. Since age 2 my parents have been divorced which has been a lifelong heartbreak. We currently have a 50/50 custody agreement, but I would like that to change. When I was a child I had cried for not being able to ride my tractor/lawnmower and my stepmother screamed at me, grabbed and yanked on my arms until I could not feel them causing lots of bruising, for evidence to use in court, my real mother has pictures. Recently, my father and I were in a fight about his monitoring my use of marijuana. I haven't used in up to 4 weeks which was a record for me at the time and I told him to "suck my ****". He punched me twice in the face, threw me to the ground and proceded to beat my ribs while holding my face to the ground causing me to not breathe. To this day he verbally abuses me for not doing what he believes I should be doing for example, having a religion and being more interested in art and music than being a businessman. My mother has never abused me in any form and although she may not be as rich as my dad, she has provided for me all my life and I'd rather live with her. Last year, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and cannot emotionally take living with and not being accepted by my dad. I would like to know if such reasons will be able to get me away from my father.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

My name is Michael, I am 16 years old and live in the state of Pennsylvania. Since age 2 my parents have been divorced which has been a lifelong heartbreak. We currently have a 50/50 custody agreement, but I would like that to change. When I was a child I had cried for not being able to ride my tractor/lawnmower and my stepmother screamed at me, grabbed and yanked on my arms until I could not feel them causing lots of bruising, for evidence to use in court, my real mother has pictures. Recently, my father and I were in a fight about his monitoring my use of marijuana. I haven't used in up to 4 weeks which was a record for me at the time and I told him to "suck my ****". He punched me twice in the face, threw me to the ground and proceded to beat my ribs while holding my face to the ground causing me to not breathe. To this day he verbally abuses me for not doing what he believes I should be doing for example, having a religion and being more interested in art and music than being a businessman. My mother has never abused me in any form and although she may not be as rich as my dad, she has provided for me all my life and I'd rather live with her. Last year, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and cannot emotionally take living with and not being accepted by my dad. I would like to know if such reasons will be able to get me away from my father.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

are you in therapy? i'm not asking this to antagonize you. there's a reason for my question.

 

[Proserpina]

If you were my kid...well, you wouldn't be having a very Merry Christmas this year put it that way.

With that said, did you call the authorities about the assault?

 

[michaelgibbs]

are you in therapy? i'm not asking this to antagonize you. there's a reason for my question.

I was in therapy until the end of my freshman year in high school (this recent june). My therapist believed I should take time off and live with my mom for awhile. After doing this for a month and a half I went back to living with both parents.

 

[Isis1]

I was in therapy until the end of my freshman year in high school (this recent june). My therapist believed I should take time off and live with my mom for awhile. After doing this for a month and a half I went back to living with both parents.

hon, when did this assault occur?

 

[michaelgibbs]

If you were my kid...well, you wouldn't be having a very Merry Christmas this year put it that way.

With that said, did you call the authorities about the assault?

Parents are allowed to hit their children in Pennsylvania. I'm not so sure about beating them nearly senseless though..

and thank you Merry Christmas to you too.

 

[michaelgibbs]

hon, when did this assault occur?

a couple of months ago

 

[Isis1]

a couple of months ago

who did you tell about this occurance?

 

[michaelgibbs]

I told my mother, and her being told by my father that Pennsylvanians could hit their children, didn't do anything except give my father more than an earfull.

 

[Proserpina]

I told my mother, and her being told by my father that Pennsylvanians could hit their children, didn't do anything except give my father more than an earfull.

There's a difference between physical discipline, and beating your child.

Mom should have called child services - if what you're saying is actually true (versus being exaggerated a bit ), that was quite clearly assault and child services WOULD have agreed. You could also have called the police. In NO state is punching your child in the face legal.

Not. One. State.

And she would have had a better chance of switching custody. Now it's not only too late, it leaves her with basically no reason to modify custody.

Now, you also need to quit backtalking to your father. He had a legitimate reason to monitor you for drug use. You on the other hand were absolutely disrespectful.

It doesn't justify what he did, but you have to understand why your appalling show of rudeness might have ticked him off a bit.

 

[Isis1]

I told my mother, and her being told by my father that Pennsylvanians could hit their children, didn't do anything except give my father more than an earfull.

well, then i am very unhappy with your mother as she did not do anything about it. even if discipline is legal, there is a point that has been crossed if what you are describing is accurate.

so, at this point, it is your mother's responisbility to act on the situation at hand.

but this will not stop dad from having visitation with you. your mother will still be required to facilitate a relationship with your dad. so at some point, you are going to have to "man" up and start being respectful. both to your mom AND dad. this includes not doing drugs. this includes not talking back. if it means playing an instrument, what's wrong with a business man that knows how to read music? or play a guitar. doesn't have to be Grammy Award winning, but it sure would tickle the dates pink to have you play something romantic. and soon as you turn 18, you can chuck it all out the window and be a tattoo artist if you want.

 

[michaelgibbs]

well, then i am very unhappy with your mother as she did not do anything about it. even if discipline is legal, there is a point that has been crossed if what you are describing is accurate.

so, at this point, it is your mother's responisbility to act on the situation at hand.

but this will not stop dad from having visitation with you. your mother will still be required to facilitate a relationship with your dad. so at some point, you are going to have to "man" up and start being respectful. both to your mom AND dad. this includes not doing drugs. this includes not talking back. if it means playing an instrument, what's wrong with a business man that knows how to read music? or play a guitar. doesn't have to be Grammy Award winning, but it sure would tickle the dates pink to have you play something romantic. and soon as you turn 18, you can chuck it all out the window and be a tattoo artist if you want.

well i'm indeed very disappointed in myself for believing everything my dad says. but oh well thank you all very much for the advice and answers.

 

[Proserpina]

well i'm indeed very disappointed in myself for believing everything my dad says. but oh well thank you all very much for the advice and answers.

Michael, if he ever goes further than what the state considers acceptable (which is basically not leaving a mark/bruise), you need to call 911 immediately, and child services yourself if you need to.

What you described is NOT acceptable.

Punching, kicking, biting = not acceptable in ANY situation.

Swatting a 5 year old's behind over clothing = acceptable.

 

[mistoffolees]

Michael, if he ever goes further than what the state considers acceptable (which is basically not leaving a mark/bruise), you need to call 911 immediately, and child services yourself if you need to.

What you described is NOT acceptable.

Punching, kicking, biting = not acceptable in ANY situation.

Swatting a 5 year old's behind over clothing = acceptable.

If not 911 or child services, tell a counselor at school.

 

[neopandora]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

My name is Michael, I am 16 years old and live in the state of Pennsylvania. Since age 2 my parents have been divorced which has been a lifelong heartbreak. We currently have a 50/50 custody agreement, but I would like that to change. When I was a child I had cried for not being able to ride my tractor/lawnmower and my stepmother screamed at me, grabbed and yanked on my arms until I could not feel them causing lots of bruising, for evidence to use in court, my real mother has pictures. Recently, my father and I were in a fight about his monitoring my use of marijuana. I haven't used in up to 4 weeks which was a record for me at the time and I told him to "suck my ****". He punched me twice in the face, threw me to the ground and proceded to beat my ribs while holding my face to the ground causing me to not breathe. To this day he verbally abuses me for not doing what he believes I should be doing for example, having a religion and being more interested in art and music than being a businessman. My mother has never abused me in any form and although she may not be as rich as my dad, she has provided for me all my life and I'd rather live with her. Last year, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and cannot emotionally take living with and not being accepted by my dad. I would like to know if such reasons will be able to get me away from my father.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

OP-the others have pretty much covered everything but I do want to add just a few things (and these come from a VERY laid back Mom who has only ever spanked her child once at the age of 2):

Dad most certainly can and should monitor any illegal drug usage (as should Mom). I have a son close to your age and you bet he is subject to random drug tests if needed. If one was positive he knows to expect no form of privacy.

There is nothing wrong with learning many aspects of knowledge, culture and religion. It's called becoming a well-rounded person. Example, my son's strengths are in science and math. He reads classic literature, studies art and music because he understands I require it so that he has a broad knowledge base. It's important whether you think it is or not.

Disrespect is the one action that results in physical discipline in my house. If it was as you say then you call the police, DCS or go directly to a hospital to document the injuries.

I can make no excuses for your Dad's behavior, but, you are 16 and will be an adult man in 2 years or less. While assaulting someone is not right, you were not right also. I cannot imagine that making such a statement to any of your peers or another man would get your warm fuzzies. Unless that statement is made as a genuine proposition, it is NEVER going to bring about good things to you. You may not be an adult yet, but you are certainly old enough to know better than that.