Temporary Custody by Family Member

[frazzie]

What is the name of your state? FL

My ex has a job that requires him to travel throughout the US and sometimes other countries, which is why I am the custodial parent. We have joint custody and he pays child support. A very profitable opportunity has come up for me with a Florida company that has a facility in the Bahamas. This job is tax free and pays all living expenses. I could potentially come home with my annual salary in the bank, which would help my situation immensely. However, the job requires a 1 year, maybe 2, year contract and does not allow children to live there permanently. The children are allowed to visit as often and as long as they/I want.

If I can get my ex to agree to have my family in NC take care of my children (age 12 & 14) while I am temporarily away for this job, are there any consequences that I am missing and/or should be aware of? i.e. losing primary custody in the future? I would fly my children out to see me during school vacations, and fly back to see them as much as possible.

I know child support has to be modified. I also would be paying my family for support of my children while I was away, whether or not my ex helps in that.

Any help or opinions are greatly appreciated!!

 

[BL]

If I can get my ex to agree to have my family in NC take care of my children (age 12 & 14) while I am temporarily away for this job, are there any consequences that I am missing and/or should be aware of? i.e. losing primary custody in the future? I would fly my children out to see me during school vacations, and fly back to see them as much as possible. [ quote ]

Why would you need your EX's permission, if the kids are yours ?

 

[frazzie]

correction

We have joint custody, but I am the primary custodial parent.

 

[BL]

I would think that if you were to " agree " to this move and living arrangements, it should be approved and Modified by the Court,and since you wouldn't be primary anymore he could request " Joint " Custody ,and should to Protect his rights.

There would also be the issue of visitations for Both of you Parents, plus the issue of Child Support.

 

[adonahee]

You may want to talk to the kids...

They're old enough to be able to tell you how they feel. Would they LIKE this new living arrangement? It would be a shame to come back with $ in your pocket, but your kids in a mess, or worse yet, in Juvie somewhere because they made some bad choices while their parents were "taking a great opportunity".
How's that for 'consequences' ??

 

[LdiJ]

They're old enough to be able to tell you how they feel. Would they LIKE this new living arrangement? It would be a shame to come back with $ in your pocket, but your kids in a mess, or worse yet, in Juvie somewhere because they made some bad choices while their parents were "taking a great opportunity".
How's that for 'consequences' ??

That is a good point. Think carefully about their relationship with their grandparents, and the grandparent's ability to maintain proper discipline with teenagers. You know best your kids and your parents...so think that through carefully. Make sure that its truly workable.

They are at an age now where their wishes are going to be taken seriously by the courts. Its unlikely that you would lose primary custody unless its something that the children also want....which sometimes happens during the teenage years anyway. Obviously they can't be in the primary custody of their father right now...because of HIS work. However you never know when that might change.

If possible, I would see what you could do to arrange for both you and the grandparents (and potentially the father too) to have webcams so that you can both see and talk to the kids at the same time on a regular basis. Its not as good as being there...but its harder for teens to hide things when you can see their faces...and body language helps communication.

 

[LdiJ]

I would think that if you were to " agree " to this move and living arrangements, it should be approved and Modified by the Court,and since you wouldn't be primary anymore he could request " Joint " Custody ,and should to Protect his rights.

There would also be the issue of visitations for Both of you Parents, plus the issue of Child Support.

It doesn't necessarily have to be handled in court. It depends on the parties and their relationships. A power of attorney would be sufficient for the grandparents and an agreement regarding child support if everybody is honorable. This doesn't sound like a particularly "hostile" co-parenting situation. Remember...these are teenagers so their wishes count, and they are also old enough to speak their minds.

Personally...I think that both parent's right would be best protected by NOT taking it to court or modifying and current custody orders... and not giving the grandparents any more status than a power of attorney would give them.

 

[frazzie]

I guess grandparents would be the first to come to mind, but it's actually my older sister who would be taking care of my kids. I have already spoken to my kids and they do not mind the situation, knowing that it is not permanent and they're able to visit. They will also have other family members surrounding them in NC like cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandmother. Right now, we have no relatives in FL with us. I'm hoping this would make the transition a little bit easier.

I never thought of getting a webcam, and I think that's a great idea!