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  1. #1
    snickie is offline Junior Member
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    Mar 2007
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    Temporary custody of a non family member?

    What is the name of your state? OR

    I was contacted by a family member about a baby in another state (CA) that needs a home. This is definitaley at least a temporary custody situation. It could also possibly be adoption. Either way my husband and I are willing to take the baby (only a few days old) and the mother has agreed to temporary custody. She is incarcerated in CA, we live in OR.

    Is it legal for us to take the baby even though we live in another state?
    Is it legal forus to gain temporary custody even though we are no relation to the mother or the child?
    Would we be eligible for assistance through the state of CA or OR for things such as medical etc? (Would we be eligible at all? It's not necessary, just figured since I was asking I might as well add that in too)

    The connection we have to the mother is through my aunt (the mother is my aunts ex-husbands neice) I do not know her, and have never met her otherwise, though my aunt has told her about my husband and myself. Her family members are unable to take the baby, and the father wants nothing to do with the child (this is what we have been told) she does not want the baby to stay in foster care because she would like to mainain a relationship with the child. This leads me to believe she may be looking at a possible open adoption. As far as we knowher parental rights have not been terminated. We would be fine with either an open adoption or just temporary custody until the mother is able to care for her child again. however if this were to be an adoption...

    Can someone who is incarcerated legally sign away their parental rights?
    I have been informed that she might not be able to do this if she is willing to let us adopt her baby until she is out of jail, just wanted to know if it's true and if so why?

    Finally, and most important, how do we go about getting the baby out of the foster care system? what should we be doing now? What should the mother be doing?

    Thank you very much for your time. Sorry if this has been a little long, and I apologize if I'm asking for "too much" free advice. I'd just like to know as soon as possible.What is the name of your state?
  2. #2
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Dec 2005
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    Ohio
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    You cannot adopt this child until the father has been identified legally and then he MAY want CUSTODY of HIS child. Just because you have been told otherwise doesn't make it true. Does this child even have a legal FATHER? If not then one will have to be identified. And if the child goes into the custody of children's services that is one of the things they will be attempting to do. Which could be why mom doesn't want the child going that route. Children's Services tries to place the child with a family member by the way.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  3. #3
    snickie is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    You cannot adopt this child until the father has been identified legally and then he MAY want CUSTODY of HIS child. Just because you have been told otherwise doesn't make it true. Does this child even have a legal FATHER? If not then one will have to be identified. And if the child goes into the custody of children's services that is one of the things they will be attempting to do. Which could be why mom doesn't want the child going that route. Children's Services tries to place the child with a family member by the way.
    I am aware the father has rights as well. I am not assuming anything to be true, I only have the information that I have ben given to go on. There have been some new developments with this, and it has now become an issue of adoption. There is a court hearing today to have the mothers rights terminated, and to have paternity of the father established. I know that this will not all happen today, and that it is just being presented o the court. Family of the father may also want to adopt the child. The mother has only given one name for who the father could be, and that man does not want the child. I realize he may not be the father. Her reasons for not wanting her child in foster care have to do with the fact that she has had 7 children including this one, and they have all been put into foster care. She does not have contact with any of them. My husband and I have agreed to send her pictures and letters about the child so she is able to have some form of contact.

    Right now the court is trying to find someone to take custody of the child, my question is now, the mother was making arrangments for my husband and i to take the child, is that going to have a factor in who gets the child? There are now two otehr couples wanting to adopt the child that are non-family members. They were located through the foster care system.
  4. #4
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by snickie View Post
    I am aware the father has rights as well. I am not assuming anything to be true, I only have the information that I have ben given to go on. There have been some new developments with this, and it has now become an issue of adoption. There is a court hearing today to have the mothers rights terminated, and to have paternity of the father established. I know that this will not all happen today, and that it is just being presented o the court. Family of the father may also want to adopt the child. The mother has only given one name for who the father could be, and that man does not want the child. I realize he may not be the father. Her reasons for not wanting her child in foster care have to do with the fact that she has had 7 children including this one, and they have all been put into foster care. She does not have contact with any of them. My husband and I have agreed to send her pictures and letters about the child so she is able to have some form of contact.

    Right now the court is trying to find someone to take custody of the child, my question is now, the mother was making arrangments for my husband and i to take the child, is that going to have a factor in who gets the child? There are now two otehr couples wanting to adopt the child that are non-family members. They were located through the foster care system.

    Hon...back off from this one, its only going to end in heartbreak for you.

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