Terminating an absent parent's rights to child

[dmaeder13]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My daughter's dad is absent in her life, I am scared that if something were to happen to me he could get her. Is there a way I can terminate his rights to my daughter, if he won't voluntarily give them up?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My daughter's dad is absent in her life, I am scared that if something were to happen to me he could get her. Is there a way I can terminate his rights to my daughter, if he won't voluntarily give them up?

Get married and have your husband do a stepparent adoption.

Now, before we go further - is he legally Dad?

How old is the child?

Are there court orders in place?

How much contact has there been?

 

[dmaeder13]

Now, before we go further - is he legally Dad? There has been no DNA test to prove he is the dad, but he signed the birth certificate. Is that what you meant?

How old is the child? She is 5 yrs. old

Are there court orders in place? Not that I'm aware of

How much contact has there been? This year, he saw her twice, about a total of 2 hours, and that is usually common.

I was told that you could go to court and request the rights to be terminated and the courts would want you to try and locate the parent and put a posting in the newspaper, and if there was no response then I could get it. Is there any truth to that?

 

[Proserpina]

Now, before we go further - is he legally Dad? There has been no DNA test to prove he is the dad, but he signed the birth certificate. Is that what you meant?

How old is the child? She is 5 yrs. old

Are there court orders in place? Not that I'm aware of

How much contact has there been? This year, he saw her twice, about a total of 2 hours, and that is usually common.

I was told that you could go to court and request the rights to be terminated and the courts would want you to try and locate the parent and put a posting in the newspaper, and if there was no response then I could get it. Is there any truth to that?

No, there's no truth to that whatsoever unless you're doing a stepparent adoption (you're talking about service by publication, and you need an attorney if you're going that route.

The State wants TWO parents to be responsible for the child.

 

[dmaeder13]

Without having to get married, is there anything I can do so if something were to happen to me, he couldn't get her?

 

[Proserpina]

Without having to get married, is there anything I can do so if something were to happen to me, he couldn't get her?

You can appoint a "standby guardianship" expressing your wishes.

However, the court doesn't have to abide by this - your ex still has constitutionally-protected rights and he would stand at least some chance of being able to parent HIS child.

 

[CourtClerk]

No, there's no truth to that whatsoever unless you're doing a stepparent adoption (you're talking about service by publication,

that's not necessarily true...

There is truth to it, but it's incredibly difficult to do, although it CAN be done.

and you need an attorney if you're going that route.

To do what? Service by publication or a TPR?

The State wants TWO parents to be responsible for the child.

That... is true

 

[mistoffolees]

that's not necessarily true...

There is truth to it, but it's incredibly difficult to do, although it CAN be done.

Termination of Parental Rights
"Termination of parental rights is a court order that permanently severs the legal parent-child relationship when the court finds one or both parents to be unfit, or when one or both parents give up their parental rights so that an adoption can take place.

IMPORTANT: Termination of parental rights IS NOT granted by the courts on request or by mutual agreement of the parents as a means of solving visitation or support disputes."

The only option that seems to apply is if Mom can prove that it's not in the child's best interests for Dad to maintain parental rights. But since Dad doesn't have any contact with the kid, it's hard to see how it's harming the child for Dad to have parental rights.

All you can do is appoint a standby guardian and then hope for the best (and drive carefully, don't smoke, etc).

 

[Proserpina]

that's not necessarily true...

There is truth to it, but it's incredibly difficult to do, although it CAN be done.

To do what? Service by publication or a TPR?

That... is true

Sorry, I didn't see this. You don't post as often as you SHOULD so I sometimes miss when you do.

I was referring to TPR.

You've stated several times that in CA service by publication isn't as finicky as it can be in other places (um..HERE).

 

[dmaeder13]

So what if I can 100% prove that he is unfit for our daughter, Can I then get his rights terminated? There is more, then just him not being around, but I don't want to air that dirty laundry somewhere so public. I'm not looking to be spiteful towards him I'm genuinely worried about him getting her, but I can't afford to even call and talk to a lawyer, being that I'm a single mom on a one income budget.

 

[Proserpina]

So what if I can 100% prove that he is unfit for our daughter, Can I then get his rights terminated? There is more, then just him not being around, but I don't want to air that dirty laundry somewhere so public. I'm not looking to be spiteful towards him I'm genuinely worried about him getting her, but I can't afford to even call and talk to a lawyer, being that I'm a single mom on a one income budget.

I doubt you really know what constitutes "unfit".

The State would be the entity terminating his rights due to being unfit.

 

[mistoffolees]

So what if I can 100% prove that he is unfit for our daughter, Can I then get his rights terminated?

Possibly - see the link above.

HOWEVER, it is very, very difficult to prove someone is unfit to the point where their parental rights are terminated. Unless they are a clear danger to the child, it's just not likely to happen. They could use drugs constantly, have 3 new girlfriends every week, live in a pigsty, and not have any income and that's not unfit by legal standards. It MIGHT be possible to require supervised visitation if he's a really bad Dad, but termination of parental rights is hard.

If he's so much a danger to the child, why haven't you contacted CPS? Why haven't you filed a police report?

 

[CourtClerk]

Sorry, I didn't see this. You don't post as often as you SHOULD so I sometimes miss when you do.

Yeah, yeah. Between this place and my job, there is only one of the two I can actually choose to avoid.

It doesn't kill me to take temporary absences from here and I don't have to make melodramatic exits to do it, either. I just go. I come back when I'm ready. I lurk sometimes, but with all the lunacy on here from time to time, I just choose to live true to my location (see above) on this forum.

 

[dmaeder13]

If he's so much a danger to the child, why haven't you contacted CPS? Because he doesn't see her.
Why haven't you filed a police report? I have a restraining order on him.

 

[Proserpina]

If he's so much a danger to the child, why haven't you contacted CPS? Because he doesn't see her.
Why haven't you filed a police report? I have a restraining order on him.

So you don't have any official documentation that he's an unfit parent, correct?

(A restraining order does not mean that he's unfit)