• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Termination of Parental Rights

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

A

Astral

Guest
What is the name of your state? North Carolina

I posted this in the adoption forum, but I think I should have posted it here.

A little background...
My daughter is 6 years old. I gave birth to her at the age of 19. At the time she was born, I had done practically nothing with my life. When she was born, I determined to make something of myself. Her biological father never set eyes on her until she was 2 1/2, and even then it was from across a room. I survived by working full-time and getting government aid. When I applied to DSS for Work First, they told me that I had to try and get child support to qualify. I gave them the biological father's name, and they filed for child support. He (more like his parents) fought it, and requested a paternity test. It came back positive for him as the father, and he started paying child support. Now I wish I hadn't.

A couple of years ago, my parents offered to take care of my daughter full time while I went back to school (community college). With their help, I and my boyfriend were able to go full time and still make enough working to pay the bills, etc. After a while, the father's parents offered to help on the weekends, when my parents needed a break (they are retired and starting to feel their age) by looking after my daughter. I saw no reason to object. Well, I certainly regret it now.

Last April, they sued for custody of my daughter. Most of the things they used as reasons were b.s. (e.g. they said they believed I was of a Pagan religion -- as if that should have any bearing whatsoever regardless of whether it's true {for anyone who's curious, I actually consider myself an agnostic}). The things that did matter were unfortunately true. I did not have enough means, financially, to support her. I did not have a car (we do not have adequate public transportation here), and I was unmarried, but living with my boyfriend (Perhaps not legally relevant, but no doubt would still have influenced any rulings {for those curious, I am still with him, going on 5 years, and we are not married, nor planning on it}). They don't give court-appointed attorneys for cases like those, I did not have the money to even think of hiring an attorney, and the local sliding-fee/income-based program covers the entire western part of the state, and has very strict qualifications for giving their aid, and they wouldn't take my case. I was advised by the D.A. that if I fought and lost, the plaintiffs would get permanent custody, where as, if I let them mediate it, they would get temporary custody, and I could bring it back to court at any time. Given these conditions, I had little choice but to let them get temporary custody. My parents requested secondary custody, and got it. They went into mediation, the biological father, his parents, and my parents, and worked it all out. I was not informed of the results except to be told that they had temporary custody, I was to be given visitation when my daughter was with my parents (just 4 days a month, awful), and I could bring it back to court at any time.

I went on with school, and am now 1 class away from my Associate's Degree (not much, I admit, but it's an achievement for me). My boyfriend has 3 semesters to go before he graduates. In November, I was talking to my father, and found out that in the court order it states that both I and the bio. father were supposed to be paying child support to his parents. (I was not sent a copy of the order and had not seen it before then) My father offered to help me out and sent a check in to the address listed in the order covering approx. 4 months.

On Feb. 23rd, a sheriff gave a summons to my boyfriend (I was not at home at the time, and I would think that they are supposed to get proof that I received it?). The bio. father's parents are filing for a Termination of Parental Rights, in preparation for adoption. The grounds they give is "the Respondent Mother has willfully, without cause, failed to provide child support for said child for at least six consecutive months preceding the filing of this Petition". It states in the summons that I have the right to a court-appointed attorney for this case, and I need to answer within 30 days, or my rights get terminated automatically. We called state child support enforcement (where my dad sent the check), and it turns out that they don't have the case on file (that it was a private case. Why did the court order give that address then?). My dad's check was cashed by them, so he had no reason to believe it wasn't applied, and they never notified him. They said they would send an affidavit stating all this. I went to the clerk of court to fill out the forms to get an attorney. They gave me a business card, and told me that I needed to schedule a meeting myself. Every time I've called, I got voice mail. I don't have a phone, so I have given my parents' number for the callback. My father has also been calling. Yesterday, my father told me that he finally got someone, but they said the attorney wouldn't be in this week or next. The summons was filed Feb. 16th (even though I didn't get it until last week), and 30 days from that (I don't know, do they count all days, or just business days?) is the 17th.

I don't know what to do. I'm sorry to write a book, but I've got no one else to tell, especially that might be able to understand all the aspects and consequences. Even if I am successful at avoiding having my parental rights terminated, I still do not yet have the means to properly provide for my daughter. How can I prevent this from happening in the future? I'm sure they'll keep trying. It kills me to leave her with them, but my parents are not able to handle a 6 year old at their age, and even if I could manage to provide the very bare essentials, my daughter deserves more than that (any child does). If someone has any input at all, even if it's just an opinion, please give it. I would appreciate anything, even if it's a "sorry, you're S.O.L.".

Thank you for reading my story (that's assuming you've gotten this far). At the very least, it feels good to spill it all, even if it's to the computer screen.

~Astral
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I replied on Adoption. It gets really confusing if you have duplicate threads. Just an FYI.
 
A

Astral

Guest
I'm sure you're right. It seems that more people browse this forum than the adoption one. It might be too much trouble for them to bother looking up my post in the adoption forum... Is there any way I can erase my post from that forum and just have this one here?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Sure - delete it. I'll move my response here.

(edit) to delete, you'll want to click on edit, then select the delete? box, and clock delete now. To move, you just need to do a copy & paste.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
(My response from Adoption, moved)

It's a complicated situation. One way or another, you need to respond by the 17th if you have any hope of turning things around.

Some of the problems I see.... There was a mediation between his parents, your parents, your daughter's father... where were you and why weren't you there? That's not a positive for you.

There was apparently a court order for support, which your yourself never took responsibility for. You say your Dad offered to pay 4 months worth, he sent the check, etc - where were you in this process?

It honestly doesn't look great for you. It's excellent that you've gotten to the point you have, but realistically speaking - you're 25 and still relying on others to do things you're responsible for (i.e. go to mediation, pay the support - and follow up on it). If you couldn't get through to the attorney on the card - did it occur to you to contact the court for another number? To start calling the listings in the phone number to see if anyone could help you or work with you on payments? Did you call any nearby law schools to see if they have legal clinics? Ask for referals? Lack of follow up is what's going to kill you, hon.
 
A

Astral

Guest
Thank you. I've deleted it. Should I move my response to your post here too?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
If you can..... If you already deleted that thread, tho - it's likely gone. That didn't even occur to me, to be honest.
 
A

Astral

Guest
I copied it. :)

There was a mediation between his parents, your parents, your daughter's father... where were you and why weren't you there?
They set that up between themselves after I decided it would be better for them to get temporary custody than risk fighting it and have them get permanent. I was not even aware it had taken place until afterword.



There was apparently a court order for support, which your yourself never took responsibility for. You say your Dad offered to pay 4 months worth, he sent the check, etc - where were you in this process?
That court order was the result of the mediation. I never saw it or received a copy. I was simply told of the custody situation, my visitation rights, and my right to bring the case back to court. Being the legal dummy that I am, it never even occurred to me that I should get a copy. No one said a word about child support until November, when I learned of it in a casual conversation with my father. My father offered to send the money for me, as a loan, when he found out I hadn't known about it.



I will contact the court to see if they can assign me to another attorney. I don't know if they'll do that, but we'll see. The woman who assigned me at the clerk's office mentioned that the one she assigned me to was the best... I guess I should take that with a grain of salt, but I think I'm going to need the best I can get.

I'll check, but I don't think there are any law schools nearby. We're a rather smallish town, but I'll check. It's rather frustratingly slow as I have to use a payphone, and I rely on my boyfriend for transportation.

Thank you for your input and suggestions. I appreciate it.
 
A

Astral

Guest
Or anyone else?

I know it's a lot to read, but I just had to get it all out.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Somehow, you're going to need legal representation, IMO. If you can't get someone through the court, is there any way you can put together some funds to at least have a lawyer to get the response put together by the 17th? You're running on short time here.
 

Fatherof4

Member
If all else fails (and I mean ALL else) you can try to answer yourself. Try going to the court house and asking them to give you copies of answers from other cases. Rewrite it in the same format with your information and answer. Then take it to the address specified in your summons and file one with the court.

You should use this only as a last resort. If you're really serious about keeping your rights you will get a lawyer and let them handle everything. Try getting the address of your court appointed lawyer and going to the office. See if the paralegals there will help you until the lawyer gets back. You're right, anything is possible but you have to make an effort.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top