Texas Custody

[DallasHockey]

I am a Texas resident and currently six months pregnant. The father is in Colorado. I have quite a few reasons for wanting custody with him only having supervised visitation. He has a recent past conviction in domestic violence and I have proof of a suicide threat. The reason I am writing for help, is that I need to know the chances of him gaining 50/50 custody or even primary custody. He has not offered any support financially or emotionally the entire pregnancy and continues to not look in that direction.
Furthermore, I am interested in knowing the legal process of moving out of country. If I have primary custody, what if anything can be done to stop the move?

Also, would mediation be best or should I just go all out with legal proceedings?

 

[Proserpina]

I am a Texas resident and currently six months pregnant. The father is in Colorado. I have quite a few reasons for wanting custody with him only having supervised visitation. He has a recent past conviction in domestic violence and I have proof of a suicide threat. The reason I am writing for help, is that I need to know the chances of him gaining 50/50 custody or even primary custody. He has not offered any support financially or emotionally the entire pregnancy and continues to not look in that direction.
Furthermore, I am interested in knowing the legal process of moving out of country. If I have primary custody, what if anything can be done to stop the move?

Also, would mediation be best or should I just go all out with legal proceedings?

Was the DV conviction against you?

If Dad wants to be part of his child's life and files to establish paternity etc., your chances of being able to relocate the child out of the country are slim to nil, even if you have primary custody (even with sole custody, actually).

It's quite likely that should he file, he'll get joint legal custody with ample visitation. Unless you can show that he's a threat to the child it's unlikely to be supervised for long, if at all.

 

[Isis1]

I am a Texas resident and currently six months pregnant. The father is in Colorado. I have quite a few reasons for wanting custody with him only having supervised visitation. He has a recent past conviction in domestic violence and I have proof of a suicide threat. The reason I am writing for help, is that I need to know the chances of him gaining 50/50 custody or even primary custody. He has not offered any support financially or emotionally the entire pregnancy and continues to not look in that direction.
Furthermore, I am interested in knowing the legal process of moving out of country. If I have primary custody, what if anything can be done to stop the move?

Also, would mediation be best or should I just go all out with legal proceedings?

well. at this point in time, since the child is in your body, only you are the parent of this child. dad would need to file in court to establish paternity/custody/visitation/support. in texas. if that is where the child is born.

with dad in a different state, getting a 50/50 timeshare is laughable. getting 50/50 legal, almost garunteed.

primary custody, almost not going to happen unless he can prove you an unfit parent at this point.

however, that brings me to ask...how on earth did you manage to procreate with someone with a domestic violence record?

 

[DallasHockey]

Reply

I was not involved in the Dom. Vio. case. That was before me, about a year ago.
He is very unstable and has threatened his life as well as my own while I was pregnant. I then left immediately and came back to Dallas.

Considering that he would have the legal pull to keep us in the country, even if I have sole custody.... Is there anything I could do? What if my son is born out of country? Would that prevent some of the legal issues? Granted, I know that it would prevent it if I never came back to the States. Though, that would only last so long. I have too many friends and family to stay out of the country for 18 years.
Could I file for divorce and remain out of country?

So many questions! I just can't believe that there is nothing I can do and that this awful man could end up controlling my life and freedom through our son.

 

[Proserpina]

I was not involved in the Dom. Vio. case. That was before me, about a year ago.
He is very unstable and has threatened his life as well as my own while I was pregnant. I then left immediately and came back to Dallas.

Considering that he would have the legal pull to keep us in the country, even if I have sole custody.... Is there anything I could do? What if my son is born out of country? Would that prevent some of the legal issues? Granted, I know that it would prevent it if I never came back to the States. Though, that would only last so long. I have too many friends and family to stay out of the country for 18 years.
Could I file for divorce and remain out of country?

So many questions! I just can't believe that there is nothing I can do and that this awful man could end up controlling my life and freedom through our son.

Are you currently MARRIED to Dad?

 

[Silverplum]

I was not involved in the Dom. Vio. case. That was before me, about a year ago.

Then it is not a point.
You selected him as father material AFTER that.

He is very unstable and has threatened his life as well as my own while I was pregnant. I then left immediately and came back to Dallas.

Considering that he would have the legal pull to keep us in the country, even if I have sole custody.... Is there anything I could do? What if my son is born out of country? Would that prevent some of the legal issues? Granted, I know that it would prevent it if I never came back to the States. Though, that would only last so long. I have too many friends and family to stay out of the country for 18 years.
Could I file for divorce and remain out of country?

So many questions! I just can't believe that there is nothing I can do and that this awful man could end up controlling my life and freedom through our son.

Key word there: "OUR" son.

If you don't make him a father, he has no rights. Since you have, he will have rights.

I, for one, am not going to "help" you to do what you plan.

 

[DallasHockey]

continued...

He and I are legally married, yes. It was not mutual. He threatened me to sign. Thats a whole other story.

I do not want to keep him from visitation but he will use this to control me.. Not for his want to have a relationship with the child, for he has no real drive in that area, but to always have control over me. He is vindictive and abusive. He wants control and nothing else matters.

 

[Silverplum]

He and I are legally married, yes.

HUGE difference. Shockingly huge.

It was not mutual. He threatened me to sign. Thats a whole other story.

??
What wasn't mutual? What, exactly, was the threat? To sign what?

I do not want to keep him from visitation but he will use this to control me.. Not for his want to have a relationship with the child, for he has no real drive in that area, but to always have control over me. He is vindictive and abusive. He wants control and nothing else matters.

He WILL have rights as a parent. The SAME EXACT rights as you.

 

[DallasHockey]

The threat doesn't matter, what does matter is that I was under duress when I signed the certificate.

What else matters is that he threatened his life and my own during the time from the signing and the time I left. Thus, threatening the child for I was two months pregnant at the time.

 

[Proserpina]

I was not involved in the Dom. Vio. case. That was before me, about a year ago.
He is very unstable and has threatened his life as well as my own while I was pregnant. I then left immediately and came back to Dallas.

Considering that he would have the legal pull to keep us in the country, even if I have sole custody.... Is there anything I could do? What if my son is born out of country? Would that prevent some of the legal issues? Granted, I know that it would prevent it if I never came back to the States. Though, that would only last so long. I have too many friends and family to stay out of the country for 18 years.
Could I file for divorce and remain out of country?

So many questions! I just can't believe that there is nothing I can do and that this awful man could end up controlling my life and freedom through our son.

You chose this man to be your son's father.

At this point if you do not want him in your life, you need to consider adoption.

 

[Isis1]

The threat doesn't matter, what does matter is that I was under duress when I signed the certificate.

What else matters is that he threatened his life and my own during the time from the signing and the time I left. Thus, threatening the child for I was two months pregnant at the time.

did you have a gun to your head when you signed? at the courthouse? with a witness?

 

[Silverplum]

The threat doesn't matter, what does matter is that I was under duress when I signed the certificate.

Did you come here to GET advice?

Or did you come here to tell US what you think?



Fine. You tell the judge that what matters is what YOU say, and that you don't have to provide any reasoning for what YOU want. See where that gets you.

What else matters is that he threatened his life and my own during the time from the signing and the time I left. Thus, threatening the child for I was two months pregnant at the time.

Uh-huh. That's what you say.

So what?

You aren't dead, clearly. So...what?

 

[Silverplum]

You chose this man to be your son's father.

At this point if you do not want him in your life, you need to consider adoption.

Pro, they're MARRIED.

BOTH parents would have to give the child up for adoption.

(FYI for OP, not Proserpina.)

 

[Proserpina]

Pro, they're MARRIED.

BOTH parents would have to give the child up for adoption.

(FYI for OP, not Proserpina.)

Oh, snap. Yep! You're absolutely right.

 

[Proserpina]

He and I are legally married, yes. It was not mutual. He threatened me to sign. Thats a whole other story.

I do not want to keep him from visitation but he will use this to control me.. Not for his want to have a relationship with the child, for he has no real drive in that area, but to always have control over me. He is vindictive and abusive. He wants control and nothing else matters.

(I'm sorry folks - much as this leaves a nasty taste in my mouth, the OP does deserves to hear the legal truth).

Unless and until a court of law terminates Dad's rights, he's going to have every right to parent his child. Even if you have sole custody the chances of a judge allowing you to relocate his child out of the country are - as I said earlier - virtually nil.

You also will not be able to finalize a divorce before the child is born.

You will not be able to obtain a passport for the child without Dad's permission unless you have SOLE custody - and that's highly unlikely by what you've said so far.

Dad cannot stop you from leaving the country while you are pregnant but depending on where you end up the US may retain jurisdiction and Dad may, once the child is born, be able to have a US custody order transferred and enforced and you may be forced to return the child anyway. In many, many countries you will not - even if you left tomorrow - have resided there long enough for that country to have jurisdiction by the time you have the child.

Now since you mention moving to another country, I have to ask:

Are you a US citizen?

Do you hold any other citizenship?