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Is there ever a defense to no follow a court order?

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concerned1970

Junior Member
GEORGIA

*I need to speak to someone about a court order issued on January 13th, 2012 that will put my children in danger. *As such, my urgent question is whether there is ever a good defense for contempt actions such as denying visitation when you are concerned for the welfare of you children? **

Here is is a brief summary of a complicated situation. *I will first address the hearing that granted the temporary order of 50/50 visitation on January 13th, 2012. *As of yet, I have not received an official court order.

Mt ex has an extended TPO against him to protect me, and until The hearing on January 13th, 2012, the TPO also protected my children. * I have fired my attorney for, by his admission, not returning phone calls, and for not preparing for or preventing an emergency hearing called my ex's attorney. * My previous attorney, admitted his lack of preparation outside the hearing to my father and a family friend.

The emergency hearing was called because, as a recovering alcoholic, I was falsely accused of abusing mind altering drugs while caring for my children. *The drugs in question were prescribed by an ER doctor who saw me when I fractured my tailbone on December 27th, 2011. *While in the ER, my Dr prescribed me Lortab. * Notably, the day I fell, I blacked out from the pain. *The pain was worse than labor. *I needed something to relieve the pain. *I have never abused pills, and have been prescribed stronger pain medications without abusing them post pregnancy. *I will admit to being a classic alchoholic, but besides caffeine, and the occasional chocolate indulgence, alchohol is my ONLY drug of choice. **

*Upon direction from my doctor, I took Lortab, as prescribed. *During the time I took the Lortab, I was staying with my parents in Greenville, SC. *This was during winter break and there were 4 capable, loving adults, in addition to myself caring for the children. *In fact they were spoiled with love and attention during this time. * Plus, I was still capable of effectively parenting my children verbally, while immobile. *I started taking Tylenol and a non-narcotic anti-inflamatory after a little over a week and returned to GA, assisted by my boyfriend and father, to make sure Natalia was adjusted and prepared to return to school.** In summary, the call for the hearing was frivolous and should have never occurred. * *Judge Lane was noticeably irritated and exclaimed "WHY ARE WE HERE? * THIS IS NOT AN EMERGENCY!"

*NOTE: (I began my AA recovery when I lived in NYC in 1995, but relapsed for a short period of time, after being sober since 95, *I had a brief relapse before I left my abusive husband in 2010. *He told me that I was not a bitch anymore when I drank and I believed him - pathetic but true. *Since January of 2011, I have been back in AA WITH NO DESIRE to return to drinking).*

Clearly, the hearing was a desperate and transparent (to everyone except My counsel, who was not paying attention) attempt to achieve a 50/50 visitation for my ex. *The judge did not have all the details, was noticeably confused, and irritated. It didn't help that the report from the psychologist who did the forensic evaluation, let's just call her Sally, on my daughter for sexual abuse evaluated my daughter for sexual abuse, had troublesome inconsistencies and was not admitted to the court. * Sally was not summoned to appear by either counsel. *Medlin's report confirmed my ex rubbed in my daughter's vaginal area in and out of the tub on more than one occasion with his hands, not a towel or washcloth. *Yet, in the report, my husband denied ever bathing her. *Further, Sally previously stated that she would would not complete the report without a final interview with my daughter, which never occurred.*

Stepping back in time to clarify how we got to this point, Sally sent the report to My attny minutes before we left for our 60 day status conference on November 30th, 2011. He*did not have to provide it to opposing counsel, which I later learned. *He did, without fully evaluating or considering strategy,*shooting from the hip and unprepared. *Meanwhile Sally's work was incomplete at best.* Sally initially, after performing one interview with Natalia, wrote a note to the court for a TPO hearing in October 2011 and notified DFACS that My exshould not have access to the children. *The TPO against Josh to protect the children and me was extended. **
Sally's final report, grossly differing from her initial recommendation to withhold visitation, was based on a single interview with my ex. *The interview with my ex was riddled with lies and embellishments and "mistruths" I can prove. * The report concluded*Josh should have visitation (not specifying overnight or not) because although he did touch her in an appropriate way, *it wasn't sexual in nature. *

*I think, REALLY????? *This doctor went to Harvard to validate spouting such drivel? *I could do better than that without a degree. * Where was her integrity, professional responsibility, education, and common sense?

The Judge understood that I gave 5 days of unsupervised visitation to the children, based on Kupferman telling me that I would absolutely lose my children if I didn't give visitation. *After the hearing, the TPO REMAINED IN PLACE AND THERE WAS NO CUSTODY ORDER. * *My attnygave me unclear advice on how to move forward but finally told me that I was withholding the children and would lose custody if I didn't give Josh continued access to the children against every instinct I had before the status conference scheduled for January 30th, 2012. *So, I allowed My ex Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas with his family. * *Against my request, My ex promised a visit after my daughter's*January 6th birthday to receive gifts and go horseback riding. * In an effort to follow legal counsel, and keeping in mind that My ex had threatened to keep(steal)the kids if I didn't meet his demands, I offered him a weekend to celebrate her birthday.

*During the emergency hearing on January 13 th*The judge*admonished me for not protecting my children from Mr Meeks if I felt they were unsafe, keeping them from him after my attorney told me I have no choice but to let them see him. *After closing arguments, the judge admonished me and she said I should have ignored my attorney, and withheld the children from the father. * Please keep in mind that I have a recorded threat from My ex on the day after Christmas to not return the kids. *On multiple occasions, he threatened to kill me if I took his kids away from him "like his ****ing **** of a mother who took him from his his father". *Followed by his ongoing insults that I had a lot in common with his ****ing **** of a mother. *So, Judge Lane, confused, chose the easiest solution, giving 50/50 visitation. * Before the molestation on September 2011, we had been separated since January of 2011. *There was 50/50 visitation only as a result of My ex's promise that he would kill me if he got anything less.

If I withhold my children, logic dictates that I am responding to The court 's admonishments and what could be perceived as an indirect order or even threat about my judge's future decisions do a better job protecting my children. *I am prepared to follow her advice to follow my gut, which is to protect my children at all costs, including a supposed court order that I have yet to see in black and white. *I am now unrepresented, and My attny effectively stole $15,000 from my pocket, plus claims I owe him an additional $1,400+ for his crap work.

I need and will settle for nothing less that immediate, effective action. *With what I perceive as indirect guidance from the Judge, I believe I should protect my kids the way I know they need to be protected, since the system is riddled with lazy, greedy, misinformed and incompetent " professionals".
 


justalayman

Senior Member
*I need to speak to someone about a court order issued on January 13th, 2012 that will put my children in danger. *As such, my urgent question is whether there is ever a good defense for contempt actions such as denying visitation when you are concerned for the welfare of you children? **
yes there is but you had better have proof of any allegations you make. Those allegations and supporting proof had best be for a real and imminent threat to your children's safety. Anything less is simply your speculation that something might happen which is not an emergency situation which means you have no justification for not following the courts order.

Sorry but I didn't read the novella.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
GEORGIA

*I need to speak to someone about a court order issued on January 13th, 2012 that will put my children in danger. *As such, my urgent question is whether there is ever a good defense for contempt actions such as denying visitation when you are concerned for the welfare of you children? **

Here is is a brief summary of a complicated situation. *I will first address the hearing that granted the temporary order of 50/50 visitation on January 13th, 2012. *As of yet, I have not received an official court order.

Mt ex has an extended TPO against him to protect me, and until The hearing on January 13th, 2012, the TPO also protected my children. * I have fired my attorney for, by his admission, not returning phone calls, and for not preparing for or preventing an emergency hearing called my ex's attorney. * My previous attorney, admitted his lack of preparation outside the hearing to my father and a family friend.

The emergency hearing was called because, as a recovering alcoholic, I was falsely accused of abusing mind altering drugs while caring for my children. *The drugs in question were prescribed by an ER doctor who saw me when I fractured my tailbone on December 27th, 2011. *While in the ER, my Dr prescribed me Lortab. * Notably, the day I fell, I blacked out from the pain. *The pain was worse than labor. *I needed something to relieve the pain. *I have never abused pills, and have been prescribed stronger pain medications without abusing them post pregnancy. *I will admit to being a classic alchoholic, but besides caffeine, and the occasional chocolate indulgence, alchohol is my ONLY drug of choice. **

*Upon direction from my doctor, I took Lortab, as prescribed. *During the time I took the Lortab, I was staying with my parents in Greenville, SC. *This was during winter break and there were 4 capable, loving adults, in addition to myself caring for the children. *In fact they were spoiled with love and attention during this time. * Plus, I was still capable of effectively parenting my children verbally, while immobile. *I started taking Tylenol and a non-narcotic anti-inflamatory after a little over a week and returned to GA, assisted by my boyfriend and father, to make sure Natalia was adjusted and prepared to return to school.** In summary, the call for the hearing was frivolous and should have never occurred. * *Judge Lane was noticeably irritated and exclaimed "WHY ARE WE HERE? * THIS IS NOT AN EMERGENCY!"

*NOTE: (I began my AA recovery when I lived in NYC in 1995, but relapsed for a short period of time, after being sober since 95, *I had a brief relapse before I left my abusive husband in 2010. *He told me that I was not a bitch anymore when I drank and I believed him - pathetic but true. *Since January of 2011, I have been back in AA WITH NO DESIRE to return to drinking).*

Clearly, the hearing was a desperate and transparent (to everyone except My counsel, who was not paying attention) attempt to achieve a 50/50 visitation for my ex. *The judge did not have all the details, was noticeably confused, and irritated. It didn't help that the report from the psychologist who did the forensic evaluation, let's just call her Sally, on my daughter for sexual abuse evaluated my daughter for sexual abuse, had troublesome inconsistencies and was not admitted to the court. * Sally was not summoned to appear by either counsel. *Medlin's report confirmed my ex rubbed in my daughter's vaginal area in and out of the tub on more than one occasion with his hands, not a towel or washcloth. *Yet, in the report, my husband denied ever bathing her. *Further, Sally previously stated that she would would not complete the report without a final interview with my daughter, which never occurred.*

Stepping back in time to clarify how we got to this point, Sally sent the report to My attny minutes before we left for our 60 day status conference on November 30th, 2011. He*did not have to provide it to opposing counsel, which I later learned. *He did, without fully evaluating or considering strategy,*shooting from the hip and unprepared. *Meanwhile Sally's work was incomplete at best.* Sally initially, after performing one interview with Natalia, wrote a note to the court for a TPO hearing in October 2011 and notified DFACS that My exshould not have access to the children. *The TPO against Josh to protect the children and me was extended. **
Sally's final report, grossly differing from her initial recommendation to withhold visitation, was based on a single interview with my ex. *The interview with my ex was riddled with lies and embellishments and "mistruths" I can prove. * The report concluded*Josh should have visitation (not specifying overnight or not) because although he did touch her in an appropriate way, *it wasn't sexual in nature. *

*I think, REALLY????? *This doctor went to Harvard to validate spouting such drivel? *I could do better than that without a degree. * Where was her integrity, professional responsibility, education, and common sense?

The Judge understood that I gave 5 days of unsupervised visitation to the children, based on Kupferman telling me that I would absolutely lose my children if I didn't give visitation. *After the hearing, the TPO REMAINED IN PLACE AND THERE WAS NO CUSTODY ORDER. * *My attnygave me unclear advice on how to move forward but finally told me that I was withholding the children and would lose custody if I didn't give Josh continued access to the children against every instinct I had before the status conference scheduled for January 30th, 2012. *So, I allowed My ex Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas with his family. * *Against my request, My ex promised a visit after my daughter's*January 6th birthday to receive gifts and go horseback riding. * In an effort to follow legal counsel, and keeping in mind that My ex had threatened to keep(steal)the kids if I didn't meet his demands, I offered him a weekend to celebrate her birthday.

*During the emergency hearing on January 13 th*The judge*admonished me for not protecting my children from Mr Meeks if I felt they were unsafe, keeping them from him after my attorney told me I have no choice but to let them see him. *After closing arguments, the judge admonished me and she said I should have ignored my attorney, and withheld the children from the father. * Please keep in mind that I have a recorded threat from My ex on the day after Christmas to not return the kids. *On multiple occasions, he threatened to kill me if I took his kids away from him "like his ****ing **** of a mother who took him from his his father". *Followed by his ongoing insults that I had a lot in common with his ****ing **** of a mother. *So, Judge Lane, confused, chose the easiest solution, giving 50/50 visitation. * Before the molestation on September 2011, we had been separated since January of 2011. *There was 50/50 visitation only as a result of My ex's promise that he would kill me if he got anything less.

If I withhold my children, logic dictates that I am responding to The court 's admonishments and what could be perceived as an indirect order or even threat about my judge's future decisions do a better job protecting my children. *I am prepared to follow her advice to follow my gut, which is to protect my children at all costs, including a supposed court order that I have yet to see in black and white. *I am now unrepresented, and My attny effectively stole $15,000 from my pocket, plus claims I owe him an additional $1,400+ for his crap work.

I need and will settle for nothing less that immediate, effective action. *With what I perceive as indirect guidance from the Judge, I believe I should protect my kids the way I know they need to be protected, since the system is riddled with lazy, greedy, misinformed and incompetent " professionals".
After reading this my LEGAL QUESTION is: Are YOU currently in psychiatric care?
 

CJane

Senior Member
Take a deep breath.

If the order is that recent, you may be able to file a motion to reconsider. Find an attorney that can offer you a free consult.

In order to prove contempt, your ex/his attorney, would need to not only prove to the court that you disobeyed a court order, but that you did so willfully and without good cause. Though that will be a lot easier for them if you don't have an attorney.

If you don't have a signed/written order, it's basically unenforeable.
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
Self-help legal resources


For those who want to consider filing an action in court on their own, below is a list of resources. These sites have forms and instructions, which include forms for legitimation and visitation.

Fulton County Family Court - Home - Family Court This is the site of the Fulton County Superior Court Family Division's Family Law Information Center. Any resident of the State of Georgia can visit the center in person at its location. The address is 185 Central Avenue, Atlanta, Ga. 30303. The phone is 404-335-2789. One can receive a free, brief legal consultation with an attorney by calling and making an appointment. However, a non-custodial parent must follow the guidelines of the county with legal jurisdiction over his/her particular legal issues.

DeKalb County Police Department This is the site of DeKalb County Superior Court's Family Law Information Center. Any DeKalb resident or person with a family law issue related to DeKalb County can visit the center at its location at 120 West Trinity Place, Decatur, Ga. 30030. The phone is 404-687-3990. Brief, legal consultations with an attorney are available for $10 by calling and making an appointment.

Cobb County Government This is the site of the Cobb County Superior Court Family Law Workshop. Any Cobb resident or person with a family law issue related to Cobb County can visit the center at 30 Waddell Street, Marietta, Ga. 30090. The phone is 770-528-1812. The workshop is free of charge and provides answers to basic questions about divorce, paternity/legitimation, contempt, and modification cases.

http://production.albany.ga.us/law_library/LL_forms_family_law.htm This is the site of the Dougherty County Superior Court Law Library. Any Dougherty resident or person with a family law issue related to Dougherty County can visit the center at its location at 225 Pine Avenue, Room 212, Albany, Ga. 31702. The phone is 229-431-2133. The library manager, who is an attorney, is available to provide assistance with conducting research, finding appropriate materials and possible legal resources, suggesting self-help resources, and answering legal reference questions in person or by e-mail. However, the library manager is not permitted to give legal advice or interpret specific legal situations.

Northeastern Judicial Circuit Family Law Information Center and Guardian ad Litem Program - Hall County, Georgia This is the site of the Hall and Dawson County Superior Court Family Law Information Center. Any Hall or Dawson resident or person with a family law issue related to Hall or Dawson Counties can visit the center at its location at 225 Green Street, S.E., Gainesville, Ga. 30501. The phone is 770-531-2463. Brief, legal consultations with an attorney are available at no cost in Dawson County. However, a financial qualification is required for attorney consultations in Hall County.

Appalachian Family Law Information Center This is the site of the Appalachian Family Law Information Center serving Fannin, Gilmer, and Pickens counties. Any Fannin, Gilmer or Pickens resident or person with a family law issue related to these counties can visit the center at its location at 1 Broad Street, Suite 102 A, Ellijay, Ga. 30540. The phone is 706-299-1444. Brief, legal consultations with an attorney are available by appointment for income-qualified individuals.

LegalAid-GA.org | A guide to free and low-cost legal aid, assistance and services in Georgia This site is a project of the Atlanta Legal Aid Society, the Georgia Legal Services Program and the Pro Bono Project of the State Bar of Georgia. It is a guide to free legal information and services including the topics of legitimation, visitation, and custody.

A list of the Georgia Superior Court Clerks for every county is on this web site: GSCCCA.org - Georgia Superior Court Clerks' Cooperative Authority.

DHS-OCSE


Child Support guidelines/calculators here: DHS-OCSE
 

concerned1970

Junior Member
After reading this my LEGAL QUESTION is: Are YOU currently in psychiatric care?
Yes, and diagnosed with mild depression, no personality disorders. Not too bad considering my LCSW has written a letter confirming my great progress being treated for battered wives syndrome and The resulting PTSD. My daughter still asks me if I remember how daddy used to almost kill me. She is in play therapy.
 
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concerned1970

Junior Member
Take a deep breath.

If the order is that recent, you may be able to file a motion to reconsider. Find an attorney that can offer you a free consult.

In order to prove contempt, your ex/his attorney, would need to not only prove to the court that you disobeyed a court order, but that you did so willfully and without good cause. Though that will be a lot easier for them if you don't have an attorney.

If you don't have a signed/written order, it's basically unenforeable.
Thanks to you and the others who took the time to provide meaningful and informative responses.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Yes, and diagnosed with mild depression, no personality disorders. Not too bad considering my LCSW has written a letter confirming my great progress being treated for battered wives syndrome and The resulting PTSD. My daughter still asks me if I remember how daddy used to almost kill me. She is in play therapy.
The bottom line is that you state:
"The Judge understood that I gave 5 days of unsupervised visitation to the children, based on Kupferman telling me that I would absolutely lose my children if I didn't give visitation."

You don't have any choice in the matter. In spite of the history, the judge ordered you to let Dad have visitation.

Given what you've stated, I have to suspect that there's more to the story than you've told us, but court orders must be obeyed. The only real exception would be if there were something that occurred AFTER the custody was granted which creates a significant danger to the child. And even in that case, if you don't file for an emergency order, it is perceived as vindictive.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Yes, and diagnosed with mild depression, no personality disorders. Not too bad considering my LCSW has written a letter confirming my great progress being treated for battered wives syndrome and The resulting PTSD. My daughter still asks me if I remember how daddy used to almost kill me. She is in play therapy.
The letters and reports -- they are considered hearsay and inadmissible unless the person who prepared them is called to testify.
 

concerned1970

Junior Member
The bottom line is that you state:
"The Judge understood that I gave 5 days of unsupervised visitation to the children, based on Kupferman telling me that I would absolutely lose my children if I didn't give visitation."

You don't have any choice in the matter. In spite of the history, the judge ordered you to let Dad have visitation.

Given what you've stated, I have to suspect that there's more to the story than you've told us, but court orders must be obeyed. The only real exception would be if there were something that occurred AFTER the custody was granted which creates a significant danger to the child. And even in that case, if you don't file for an emergency order, it is perceived as vindictive.

The reason is that the inappropriate rubbing happened in and out of the tub was found to be unsexual in intent and related to bathing, using his hands and fingers- per the report. The report confirms the Drs belief this happened, however my ex claims he doesn't bathe her. The forensic evaluation had inconsistencies not addressed in court because the doctor was not called to testify. Both of my doctors are willing to be expert witnesses. My daughters play therapist has only met with her 5 times and needs more time.
 

concerned1970

Junior Member
I understand the tendency to assume, of COURSE, I must be hysterical and emotionally unbalanced to question the system. Of COURSE!!!!

The truth is that I have been advised for years by friends to get TPOS, but of course I thought that if I walked on eggshells long enough I could work things out. If I had reported many things that had happened and been more aggressive legally in the past, this would be over. He was arrested for DV in 2005, but I dropped the charges because I was newly pregnant and he pro ised in marriage counseling to go to anger management. The police pulled me aside before court an begged me to not drop the charges. Their words, "this guy is classic, things will only get worse." i didn't listen. I wish I had. He never attended anger management. He has severe ADHD, which, according to his doctor(I went to some of the appointments) is almost indistinguishable from bipolar disorder.


yes, there is a LOT more to the story. His daily pot smoking and impending rages from withdrawal, lying to my family for years. Accepting about $45,000 in loans from my family, letting a house that, my mom has $40,000 invested go into forclosure after promises and my contributions to maintain it. He stopped payments the same month he accepted $16,000 from my parents. Hasnt paid a cent for daycare, extra-curriculars, etc. He stated, in front of an attorney, that will testify that he didn't care about the best interest of the kids, only his 50%. The list and story is too long for most strangers to take the time to read.


I need an aggressive attorney. thanks again for your opinions and advice.
 
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concerned1970

Junior Member
Given what you've stated, I have to suspect that there's more to the story than you've told us, but court orders must be obeyed. The only real exception would be if there were something that occurred AFTER the custody was granted which creates a significant danger to the child. And even in that case, if you don't file for an emergency order, it is perceived as vindictive..
If you read the original post, being cooperative in the past earned an admonishment from the judge for not protecting my children. So, what now. This is a circus.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
If you read the original post, being cooperative in the past earned an admonishment from the judge for not protecting my children. So, what now. This is a circus.
Then you find real evidence that the children are in danger and present it to the judge and ask for supervised visitation. As it is, you haven't done that.

The judge is clearly wanting to protect the children, but can only act within the confines of the law. Presenting a forensic evaluation without calling the doctor to testify is a classic mistake. Assuming that ex objected, the judge can not admit that evidence. You're expecting the judge to magically make things better - but that's not how it works. It's up to you to PROVE that the children are in danger -- and you haven't done that yet.
 

tranquility

Senior Member
I did not read the strum und drang of any of the posts previously. I only reply to the title.

The only "defense" to not following a court order is you didn't know about it.

If the court wanted to find the target under criminal contempt, the person could claim defense of others or defense of self if the harm is immediate, dealt with reasonably and guidance sought from the court in a seasonable manner after the issue was discovered. But, that is a defense to a crime. You better pray the court agrees with your judgment. The test will be both subjective (what the OP believes) and objective (what a reasonable person would believe).

Far better is to ask to change things now, before a violation.

The problem is (as I suspect from the length of the postings), the judge will probably not change his mind if new facts are not introduced. In theory, the judge already considered all the arguments and just saying he's wrong won't get him to change his mind.
 
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