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Thread: Third parties at visitation exchanges

  1. #1
    sassybrat1378 is offline Junior Member
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    Third parties at visitation exchanges

    In live in California, in my court order it states that "Neither party shall bring any third party to the visitation exchanges". My questions are who are considered third parties and if one parent is not at the exchange is a third party allowed to pick up our children?
  2. #2
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sassybrat1378 View Post
    In live in California, in my court order it states that "Neither party shall bring any third party to the visitation exchanges". My questions are who are considered third parties and if one parent is not at the exchange is a third party allowed to pick up our children?
    What else does your court order say with regards to exchanges? Please post the exact wording but leave out the names.
  3. #3
    sassybrat1378 is offline Junior Member
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    It really does not say anything about the exchanges except that "Neither party shall bring any third party to the visitation exchanges". Every Tuesday we have an actual exchange at the petitioner's home. In our court order for Tuesday it is stated, " Mid-Week Visitation - Mother shall have visitation every Tuesday from after school at 3:15 P.M. until 8 P.M. If there is an in-service or half day mother shall pick up at 1:15 P.M."
    Last edited by sassybrat1378; 11-23-2011 at 10:23 AM. Reason: Left out some information
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    gam
    gam is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sassybrat1378 View Post
    It really does not say anything about the exchanges. Every Tuesday we have an actual exchange at the petitioner's home. Do you want the actual verbiage for Tuesday's visitation?
    So what is the actual problem on Tuesdays at the petitioner's home? Is a 3rd party causing problems with the exchange?
  5. #5
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sassybrat1378 View Post
    It really does not say anything about the exchanges. Every Tuesday we have an actual exchange at the petitioner's home. Do you want the actual verbiage for Tuesday's visitation?
    What are you trying to accomplish?
  6. #6
    sassybrat1378 is offline Junior Member
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    My ex is wanting to enforce our court orders. Stating that there are to be no third parties. I want to know who is considered a third party and due to the verbiage is a third party allowed to pick up or drop off our children. My ex's attorney has said that no third party is to be at any of the exchanges but at the same time my ex is having their spouse be at all the exchanges while my ex is not. I want to know if they are violating the court order or if the attorney is incorrect.
  7. #7
    gam
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    Quote Originally Posted by sassybrat1378 View Post
    My ex is wanting to enforce our court orders. Stating that there are to be no third parties. I want to know who is considered a third party and due to the verbiage is a third party allowed to pick up or drop off our children. My ex's attorney has said that no third party is to be at any of the exchanges but at the same time my ex is having their spouse be at all the exchanges while my ex is not. I want to know if they are violating the court order or if the attorney is incorrect.
    The way you said your court order reads is "Neither party shall bring any third party to the visitation exchanges". Your ex technically is not bringing a 3rd party to the exchange, your ex is not at the exchange, they are having a 3rd party do the actual exchange for them. You are using the ex's home as the pick up spot, and your pick up time is 3:15 pm. Where do you suppose your ex is at this time of day?

    Is your ex working? What does your order say about who does pick ups and drop offs and where is that suppose to occur?

    If your ex is working at 3:15 pm, who watches the child during that time, when it is not your parenting time? Would that be the ex's spouse? Is your child old enough to be home alone after school?
  8. #8
    CSO286 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sassybrat1378 View Post
    My ex is wanting to enforce our court orders. Stating that there are to be no third parties. I want to know who is considered a third party and due to the verbiage is a third party allowed to pick up or drop off our children. My ex's attorney has said that no third party is to be at any of the exchanges but at the same time my ex is having their spouse be at all the exchanges while my ex is not. I want to know if they are violating the court order or if the attorney is incorrect.
    Third party = any person who is not a party to the court order. Husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, grandparents, best friends, aunts, uncles, cousins...etc
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    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sassybrat1378 View Post
    It really does not say anything about the exchanges except that "Neither party shall bring any third party to the visitation exchanges". Every Tuesday we have an actual exchange at the petitioner's home. In our court order for Tuesday it is stated, " Mid-Week Visitation - Mother shall have visitation every Tuesday from after school at 3:15 P.M. until 8 P.M. If there is an in-service or half day mother shall pick up at 1:15 P.M."
    Dad is not "bringing" anyone to the exchange.

    Stepmom is in her home. The exchange occurs there. No judge is going to order her to leave her home.

    According to the order, you are to come alone to pick up the child/ren. I would imagine the order was written in that manner because you were bringing some unsuitable companions to the pickups/dropoffs.

    So this whole thing is you being silly and trying to manipulate Dad and his wife.
  10. #10
    sassybrat1378 is offline Junior Member
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    Just so it is understood, I wanted clarification as my ex and his attorney told me I was not allowed to have a third party pick up my children. I also work and have to take vacation time every Tuesday to pick up my children. I am being silly for asking questions. The third party that he did not want around is his own mother who was not causing any problems. When picking up, no one but the children get in and out of the car. I wanted to make sure that I am not violating anything and when his wife shows up at my home on Tuesaday nights to pick up our children that he is not either. So thank you for your information it has been very helpful.
  11. #11
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Technically speaking, if the order says that neither party is to "Bring" a third party to the exchange, and you're not WITH the third party, then you're not BRINGING them.

    Frankly? If it was written to exclude a specific person, it would have been better just to name that person. A "third party" is also a sibling. So, technically, if you showed up at an exchange with a sibling of the child/ren, or a friend of the children, then you'd be "bringing" a third party to the exchange.

    If it were me? I'd continue allowing the new wife to pick up the kids, you keep sending whoever to pick up the kids, and everyone just take a deep breath and dig out the big-kid panties.
    Donna98225 likes this.
  12. #12
    sassybrat1378 is offline Junior Member
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    Cjane

    Thank you so much for your post!

    I have been dealing with this for about two months now. I really appreciate the clarification and it will help with future questions as to how we all need to act.

    I believed that I was right as far as not bringing any third parties but was being told I was wrong. Thanks again!
  13. #13
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJane View Post
    Technically speaking, if the order says that neither party is to "Bring" a third party to the exchange, and you're not WITH the third party, then you're not BRINGING them.
    I agree. Technically.

    HOWEVER, we know that judges don't always think in those terms. Let's think about this a bit. Why is the third party not allowed to come to the exchange? If it's because Mom can't get along with step-mom and the judge ordered that third parties not come to the exchange as a way to avoid that conflict, what happens when step-mom comes alone to get the child? Technically not in violation, but it could earn a BIG slap on the wrist for Dad because it is a clear attempt to violate the court's intent.

    Quote Originally Posted by CJane View Post
    Frankly? If it was written to exclude a specific person, it would have been better just to name that person. A "third party" is also a sibling. So, technically, if you showed up at an exchange with a sibling of the child/ren, or a friend of the children, then you'd be "bringing" a third party to the exchange.

    If it were me? I'd continue allowing the new wife to pick up the kids, you keep sending whoever to pick up the kids, and everyone just take a deep breath and dig out the big-kid panties.
    Agreed. It's generally not worth fighting over stupid things.
  14. #14
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    HOwever OP needs to get that portion clarified in order to avoid using vacation time. I could see a judge holding BOTH mother and father in contempt if any other person is at the exchanges except THEM or the child.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  15. #15
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistoffolees View Post
    I agree. Technically.

    HOWEVER, we know that judges don't always think in those terms. Let's think about this a bit. Why is the third party not allowed to come to the exchange? If it's because Mom can't get along with step-mom and the judge ordered that third parties not come to the exchange as a way to avoid that conflict, what happens when step-mom comes alone to get the child? Technically not in violation, but it could earn a BIG slap on the wrist for Dad because it is a clear attempt to violate the court's intent.
    Unless I read OP's post wrong, StepMom IS picking up the children alone. Dad is raising a ruckus about MOM sending a third party in HER stead.

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