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  1. #1
    kel4377 is offline Member
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    Third party pick-up/drop-off

    What is the name of your state? NY
    My husband was supposed to get his daughter this weekend for his normal visitation. Well, when he went to pick her up, him and his ex got into a huge fight, she kept trying to open the car door and take their daughter out, he kept trying to move her away from the car so he could leave, and on and on. Anyways, if he takes her back to court for the hundredth time, can he ask the judge for a third party to use for pick-up and drop-off of his daughter so he doesn't have to bother with his ex anymore? It's just gotten so out of hand, and she ended up telling their daughter last night to get out of the car and go inside, that she wasn't going with her father because he has problems. Nice thing to tell her about her father, huh??
  2. #2
    codybug10 Guest

    Police officer

    Have him to ask a police officer to go with him to pick up the child. Be sure and take legal paper work with him to show the officer.
  3. #3
    bubbly602 is offline Member
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    ummm...

    I've never heard of what codybug is talking about. I imagine they might do that once, but I don't think they'd go with him more than once. Most counties have a program for that specific purpose. Here, it's called Court Appointed Special Advocates. The child is dropped off at the CASA office 15 minutes prior to the pick up time. Then the parent dropping off leaves before the parent picking up gets there. You might try calling your courthouse or searching online for something like this in your county. Then you would need to call them and see if you have to have a court order to do drop offs this way. If not, you can arrange it, if so, he'll need to go to court. I'd suggest getting a mini tape recorder and taking it with him when he goes to pick her up, that way he has some proof of what's happening. You'll want to check into the laws on that, tho, cause in some states, I think it's illegal to record someone without their knowledge(at least that's what I've heard.) Good luck, I hope this helps!
  4. #4
    Grace_Adler is offline Senior Member
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    Document everything and take her to court for contempt. She is failing to follow a court order. If he's interested in filing for custody, the more she does this, the more it will build his case. Yes, he can try to have the order modified so they can meet at a neutral point.
  5. #5
    kel4377 is offline Member
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    Yeah, the police officer would go over there with him, but they're not going to do that everytime. He'll just have to take her back to court again, for the millionth time. Nothing ever changes. She's been doing this for almost 3 years and the court hasn't done anything about it. They went back in January for the same thing, her not letting him see their daughter, and they ruled that she was in contempt, but get this.....they still haven't made a decision on what they're going to do about it. Hello!!! It's take a year to make a decision!?!?!?! What is wrong with our court systems!!! And in the meantime, she's doing it again, and they still won't do anything about it when he takes her to court again. And last time they were there, the law guardian recommended this third party pick-up/drop-off, but the judge didn't go with it. Nice, huh!!
  6. #6
    Grace_Adler is offline Senior Member
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    Yeah, I know. I'm sorry to hear that. This is exactly what makes parents want to give up and most of the time, the parent can not afford to keep paying money they don't have to fight the other one while the court just slaps the other one on the wrist.
  7. #7
    jez51 Guest
    I agree with bubbly on the tape recorder, he should by all means tell her he has it, and that it's recording. She'll either be smart and shut her mouth or stupid and allow herself to be taped...
  8. #8
    kel4377 is offline Member
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    Oh, we already have a tape recorder that we use on the telephone when she calls here. She knows about it and it doesn't seem to bother her, since she still says anything she wants. You know it really gets me that my husband wants to be in his daughters life and she makes it so difficult where she should be happy because there's alot of men out there, and women, that don't want to have anything to do with their child(ren).
  9. #9
    gonja66 Guest
    I agree with haveing a police officer there, if your husband has all the paperwork stateing visitation, they will meet him there and if there are any "altercations" there will also be a reliable witness there.
  10. #10
    kel4377 is offline Member
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    Yeah, believe me we've been through all this plenty of times. We've got police reports from when she wasn't home at the time he was supposed to pick his daughter up. I just hope this time the court will appoint a pick-up/drop-off place so he doesn't have to deal with her anymore, and plus I don't think the police would go with him every time he has to pick his daughter up. Besides them getting into an argument, she just does what she pleases everytime he goes to pick his daughter up....she takes her own sweet time getting her ready, she has to pick her up and hug her and kiss her a million times, she has to stand there and talk to her.....and she just does it on purpose. He's supposed to pick her up at 6 and by the time he leaves the house it's always like 6:30 because his ex takes her own sweet time getting their daughter ready.
  11. #11
    gonja66 Guest
    maybe you should go back to court she's obviosly to stupid to follow a court order so she shouldn't have custody. He should bring all of this to court and file for custody!!!
  12. #12
    BL
    BL is offline Senior Member
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    Go back to Court for Modification.

    Have the order modified for Pickup/drop off at the curb,or road side.Have it State the order State specifically the times for pickup/and drop off. Have it state neither Party will interfere in the process.

    Yes,I would seriously think about( Filing for Custody). This is not good for the "best interest of the Child" Emotionally.

    She is frustrating a good Parent/child relationship , and the even though the the court's would rather let the parents work things out, if they can-not,that is the purpose of the courts.
  13. #13
    haiku is offline Senior Member
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    ask for pick ups to be done in public, such as mcdonalds, its amazing how well behaved people can be in front of an audience.
    "It is easier to build strong children than repair broken men." Frederick Douglas
  14. #14
    kel4377 is offline Member
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    Yeah, well it's amazing because he's been to court so many times for the same thing and they still do nothing. He tried filing for custody but the judge wouldn't hear it. As long as the mother isn't neglecting their daughter, abandoning her, or abusing her, she stays with her. Who cares that she's preventing her from seeing her father, guess the courts don't really care since he's taken her to court so many times and they still haven't done anything about it. Like I said before, they even found her in violation of the court order back in January and still hasn't made a decision on what to do about it. Guess he'll just have to keep taking off work and going to court for nothing.
    And yeah, it is amazing how different people act in public. She acts like a whole different person around people that don't really "know" her.
    I just don't understand why the courts can't see what she's doing and why they won't do anything about it!!!!!!
  15. #15
    BL
    BL is offline Senior Member
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    they even found her in violation of the court order back in January and still hasn't made a decision on what to do about it. [ quote ]

    Are you sure the Judge hasn't made a decision on it ? You should check the records .

    If not, I would think you could submit a motion or something for it to be ruled on . I do believe though a Judge has the discretion on what ,if anything to do about the contempt .

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