Too long for a response

[Zach6901]

What is the name of your state? Maryland

My wife was to get together the resources to appoint a separate lawyer for my 5 year old son . The lawyer was to speak to my doctor on what would be a good way to introduce my son and me together for visitation. That was almost two months ago and I get nothing from her lawyer or the person who is supposed to represent my son in terms of a call or paperwork. Anyway, to hurry this along sort of should I go ahead and file a complaint for visitation? Since she filed for divorce in Baltimore County and lives in Baltimore County, should I do the same or file in Baltimore City in which I live? I took it upon myself to call her lawyer to see what the problem is. I've been placing calls for the past two days and nothing. Is there anything that I should remember after everything is filed as far as what her lawyer and my son's lawyer might do?

 

[ceara19]

What is the name of your state? Maryland

My wife was to get together the resources to appoint a separate lawyer for my 5 year old son . The lawyer was to speak to my doctor on what would be a good way to introduce my son and me together for visitation. That was almost two months ago and I get nothing from her lawyer or the person who is supposed to represent my son in terms of a call or paperwork. Anyway, to hurry this along sort of should I go ahead and file a complaint for visitation? Since she filed for divorce in Baltimore County and lives in Baltimore County, should I do the same or file in Baltimore City in which I live? I took it upon myself to call her lawyer to see what the problem is. I've been placing calls for the past two days and nothing. Is there anything that I should remember after everything is filed as far as what her lawyer and my son's lawyer might do?

Visitation will be handled with the divorce. You should request a hearing for temporary orders if your wife has not already done so.

A few questions before your other questions can be answered though:

1. Why is it necessary for the child to have a separate lawyer?

2. Why do you not have a relationship with your child at this time?

3. IF an attorney for the child is deemed necessary by the COURT, why should your wife be responsible for 100% of the cost?

 

[Zach6901]

Question 1:
Why is it necessary for the child to have a separate lawyer?

Answer:
I've been a temporary residence of a mental hospital a few times and there may be certain things I do not want my ex to know about from my doctor since she was a part of why I was in the hospital in the first place.

Question 2:
Why do you not have a relationship with your child at this time?

Answer: My ex does not have sense enough to educate herself about mental illnesses which brings me to a saying, "We fear what we don't understand". Hence why my son is kept from me. I've tried to get her to understand and even mailed a few things on the subject and nothing. She thinks I'm crazy enough to hurt my son. There was never a threat of that since he didn't cause my illness. November,2001 is the last time I held him in my arms.

Question 3:
IF an attorney for the child is deemed necessary by the COURT, why should your wife be responsible for 100% of the cost?

Answer:
She said she would pay out of her own pocket. Why should she not if her yearly salary is around $60K. Social security only pays $538 a month to me. Why? Not fit to work, but I look anyway for my 5 year old son.

If you haven't experienced or been apart of mental illness, there is know use for me to try to get you to understand my side of things. And that part about her doing it for the sake of the child doesn't fly either.

 

[ceara19]

Question 1:
Why is it necessary for the child to have a separate lawyer?

Answer:
I've been a temporary residence of a mental hospital a few times and there may be certain things I do not want my ex to know about from my doctor since she was a part of why I was in the hospital in the first place.

I understand that there may be things that you don't want your ex to know, but that won't fly in court. You can't FORCE her to come up with a visitation arrangement out of court. If she won't cooperate and she doesn't want you to have visitation with the child, she will need to explain her reasoning to the court. Since she could easily prove that you were hospitalized for mental issues, you will have to explain why. If the reasons you were hospitalized are enough to cause concern for the child's safety, you will have to go into detail about how you have dealt with and are continuing to deal with the problems. Her attorney will most likely try to obtain a supeona for your medical record, so the things that you want to keep from your ex, will probably come out eventually anyway. One other thing you need to consider is the fact that trying to conceal information that could be pertainent to the case doesn't help you.

Question 2:
Why do you not have a relationship with your child at this time?

Answer: My ex does not have sense enough to educate herself about mental illnesses which brings me to a saying, "We fear what we don't understand". Hence why my son is kept from me. I've tried to get her to understand and even mailed a few things on the subject and nothing. She thinks I'm crazy enough to hurt my son. There was never a threat of that since he didn't cause my illness. November,2001 is the last time I held him in my arms.

Since I don't know the particulars of your illness, I have no way of knowing if her fears are justified or not. Exposing a child to a person with certain untreated mental illnesses CAN be harmful to the child. I certainly wouldn't want my child around a paranoid schitzophrenic who is not currently successfully treating their illness.

Question 3:
IF an attorney for the child is deemed necessary by the COURT, why should your wife be responsible for 100% of the cost?

Answer:
She said she would pay out of her own pocket. Why should she not if her yearly salary is around $60K. Social security only pays $538 a month to me. Why? Not fit to work, but I look anyway for my 5 year old son.

A separate attorney for the child may not be necessary. If the judge determines that it is a necessity, you would most likely be expected to pay half of the cost. Plus, relying on a lawyer that is on MOM'S payroll really isn't in YOUR best interest. Attorneys tend to favor the person paying them.

If you haven't experienced or been apart of mental illness, there is know use for me to try to get you to understand my side of things. And that part about her doing it for the sake of the child doesn't fly either.

Like I said, I have no idea if she is acting in the best interests of the child because I don't know the specifics. As far as "understanding" your side, that's really not necessary. The law is the law. How EITHER side "feels" about the situation is irrelevant. That's just the way it is. It doesn't mean that I can't or don't understand your side of the story. However, no one's personal opinion on the matter will change the LEGALITIES of your case.

 

[Zach6901]

Since I don't know the particulars of your illness, I have no way of knowing if her fears are justified or not. Exposing a child to a person with certain untreated mental illnesses CAN be harmful to the child. I certainly wouldn't want my child around a paranoid schitzophrenic who is not currently successfully treating their illness.


I've been under treatment since my first setback of three five years ago. There has never been any violence from me to her or anyone ever. How do I force her to come up with a schedule of visitation? File a complaint of visitation? What's made it harder is the fact that my ex depends on the opinions of my family. By that I mean anything I've done at home my mother has seen then it goes from her to my aunt. From there it goes to my aunts daughter-in-law. From there to my ex where the daughter-in-law are friends. By that time, the story has changed two or three times and it ends up worse than it actually is. All that may have scared my ex away all this time from things added or taken away from the incident.

Thanks for telling me about the separate lawyer. Maybe it would be to get everything out in the open

 

[ceara19]

Since I don't know the particulars of your illness, I have no way of knowing if her fears are justified or not. Exposing a child to a person with certain untreated mental illnesses CAN be harmful to the child. I certainly wouldn't want my child around a paranoid schitzophrenic who is not currently successfully treating their illness.


I've been under treatment since my first setback of three five years ago. There has never been any violence from me to her or anyone ever. How do I force her to come up with a schedule of visitation? File a complaint of visitation? What's made it harder is the fact that my ex depends on the opinions of my family. By that I mean anything I've done at home my mother has seen then it goes from her to my aunt. From there it goes to my aunts daughter-in-law. From there to my ex where the daughter-in-law are friends. By that time, the story has changed two or three times and it ends up worse than it actually is. All that may have scared my ex away all this time from things added or taken away from the incident.

Thanks for telling me about the separate lawyer. Maybe it would be to get everything out in the open

If the court orders visitation, she HAS to follow the order. In your answer to her petition for custody, you need to request visitation. The judge may order you to go to mediation to attempt to come up with an agreeable parenting plan. The mediator would review all of the facts and propose what they feel is a reasonable arrangement. If BOTH of you don't find the recommendation acceptable, the court would then hear hear the case and issue an order.

It is EXTREMELY unlikely that you would be denied visitation all together. You may have to comply with a few stipulations before you can begin the visitation (such as a psych evaluation, home study, ect.) and you can expect a "getting acquainted" phase starting with short, supervised visits, eventually leading standard visitation as long as you complete any requirements set by the court.

 

[Zach6901]

Thank you.