transportation when non custodial parent moves.

[cry4me]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

My ex husband (non custodial parent)finishes his schooling at the end of September. He is planning on moving 186 miles away but wants me to do all of the transporting for him to see the kids. This is not ideal to me and I think that if he is creating the distance then he should be doing the transporting. He apparently asked a lawyer to write up a modification to include what happens if the weather is bad and I cant get the kids to him. His lawyer told him that moving is not a change in circumstances and that it was not cause for a modification of custody/visitation.

Is the lawyer correct and do I have to do all of the transporting?

 

[cry4me]

I should add....

I should add that there is nothing in our custody agreement about moving and/or transportation.

 

[DownTime]

No, you would not likely be burdened with the full cost of the NCPs choice to relocate, although working with the NCP to ensure continued time sharing for the kids is a good thing.

Do you have a time sharing plan as a court order already? How much time does the NCP get now?

 

[cry4me]

No, you would not likely be burdened with the full cost of the NCPs choice to relocate, although working with the NCP to ensure continued time sharing for the kids is a good thing.

Do you have a time sharing plan as a court order already? How much time does the NCP get now?

I would be willing to meet him half way but I dont think that I should have to go all the way since he is the one that is moving. I offered this to him and he said that would not work for him.

I have full custody of the kids and he has EOW and alternating holidays.

 

[Proserpina]

I would be willing to meet him half way but I dont think that I should have to go all the way since he is the one that is moving. I offered this to him and he said that would not work for him.

I have full custody of the kids and he has EOW and alternating holidays.

Request that Dad is responsible for transportation.

The worst I can see happening is that it gets split 50/50.

 

[cry4me]

Request that Dad is responsible for transportation.

The worst I can see happening is that it gets split 50/50.

Thanks Pro,

Since there is nothing in the court order about moving or transporting at all, can I tell him that I will be at the half way spot for drop off and if he doesnt show I will wait for (lets say) 30 minutes after his visitation time starts then he forfits his visit if he doesnt show up? Basically I just have to make the kids available for his visitation right?

 

[CJane]

Thanks Pro,

Since there is nothing in the court order about moving or transporting at all, can I tell him that I will be at the half way spot for drop off and if he doesnt show I will wait for (lets say) 30 minutes after his visitation time starts then he forfits his visit if he doesnt show up? Basically I just have to make the kids available for his visitation right?

Your best bet is to have the court order modified to include the distance and a transportation provision. He says he's hired a lawyer already, to draw up the modification. Why not preempt him and file your own modification? You're not requesting a change to custody or visitation, only the addition of a provision that will address transportation when one parent lives more than X miles from the other.

 

[cry4me]

Your best bet is to have the court order modified to include the distance and a transportation provision. He says he's hired a lawyer already, to draw up the modification. Why not preempt him and file your own modification? You're not requesting a change to custody or visitation, only the addition of a provision that will address transportation when one parent lives more than X miles from the other.

Easy enough, thanks CJane.

(he sent me an email moments ago suggesting that we do something verbal since he says that we "cant do anything to change the visitation agreement )... not to sure that I like that idea. Its better to have it in writing I would assume

 

[LdiJ]

Easy enough, thanks CJane.

(he sent me an email moments ago suggesting that we do something verbal since he says that we "cant do anything to change the visitation agreement )... not to sure that I like that idea. Its better to have it in writing I would assume

Its best to have it court ordered. What are you going to do if he meets you half way to pick them up, but then refuses to meet you half way to return them? Get it court ordered.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Everyone seems to be leaning toward a 1/2 way meet. I disagree with you committing to this as a regular requirement. Dad chose to move. Dad should be responsible for transport a majority of the distance. If he isn't happy with that, he needs to move back. What happens next year, after the agreement is in place, if dad moves another 100 or 200 miles away? He needs to take responsibility for HIS choice to move.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

You may want to say that you won't travel more than (fill in the blank) miles for visitation.

Also, 600 miles EOW is really not doable for an extended period of time. You might want to research long distance visitation parenting plans.

 

[Tex78704]

Unless you have money to burn, I would not recommend preemptively filing a modification suit over the other parent moving 186 miles away.

For now, as a minimum follow the letter of the current order, and as a maximum meet halfway. The first time the other party pulls a fast one and expects you to drive all the way for the return of your child, revert back to the minimum the order requires.

While filing an uncontested modification with an attorney will generally cost under $1K, filing a contested one (which this will surely be) will generally require you to ante up around $2.5K, if not more. And modifications are typically more expensive overall for the one filing than the one responding.

There should have been default provisions in the decree in the event a parent moves beyond a certain distance (over 100 miles), which obviates the need for going back to court in these cases. Some states push for these, many do not. Double check your order to make sure yours does not.

The move is a change of circumstances, at least with respect to visitation. And the order should be modified to account for this. And after all is said and done, the court will most likely order you both to agree to a halfway point for the exchange.

It does not appear that Florida has a "standard visitation" outlined. For reference, a good template for a standard visitation order is one used in Texas, and which judges here generally order whenever both parents cannot agree to the terms of visitation. http://www.raggiolaw.com/stanposs.html[/B]]Standard Possession Order. This covers both long and short distance visitation plans.

Just cut and paste, fill in the blanks, modify a few legal terms, and you have a visitation order that is reasonable and comprehensive and covers all the bases much better than most folks could come up with on their own.

 

[mistoffolees]

Thanks Pro,

Since there is nothing in the court order about moving or transporting at all, can I tell him that I will be at the half way spot for drop off and if he doesnt show I will wait for (lets say) 30 minutes after his visitation time starts then he forfits his visit if he doesnt show up? Basically I just have to make the kids available for his visitation right?

I would advise against this. First, it means that both parents need to be horribly inconvenienced every other weekend. Plus, there all be traffic, accidents, weather, and other delays that will make 30 minutes impractical. If you really must go with this plan, I would go with 'receiving parent drives'. That means a long (6 hours in the car) day for each of you, but it might be more practical than 2 x 3 hours in the car.

However, I don't think I'd readily agree to it at all. Why should your weekends be messed up because he chose to move so far away? It should be his problem to find a way to get the kids to visit. How old are the kids? Is there public transportation available between the two places?

But see below about long distance visitation.

Easy enough, thanks CJane.

(he sent me an email moments ago suggesting that we do something verbal since he says that we "cant do anything to change the visitation agreement )... not to sure that I like that idea. Its better to have it in writing I would assume

Do not agree to this verbally. It is actually a very simply matter to stipulate a change in visitation to the agreement. Since he has an attorney already, my guess is that it would only take an hour or less to write it up fi the two of you are in agreement.

Verbal agreements are worthless.

You may want to say that you won't travel more than (fill in the blank) miles for visitation.

Also, 600 miles EOW is really not doable for an extended period of time. You might want to research long distance visitation parenting plans.

That's where I'd go. Since I believe you would be within your rights to insist that Dad provide the transportation since he's the one moving, that would be 12 hours in the car (6 hours for the kids) every other weekend. If Dad is willing to do that, it should be his choice, but I'll bet it wouldn't last beyond the first month before he started skipping.

A long distance visitation plan is probably going to be better - especially since he seems willing to relocate away from the kids. How long do you think it will be before it's 300 miles away - or 3000?

Either way, though, I would argue that it's his responsibility to provide for the cost of transportation. Of course, if he's putting the kids on a bus or plane, then you would meet them and drop them off, but other than that, ask the court for him to pay since he's the one who chose to leave his children. There's a good chance that you'll get it - and, in the end, even if you don't, you won't get worse than paying 1/2 the transportation. Dad's dreaming if he thinks you should pay all of it - unless you're incredibly wealthy and he has no way of earning a living in your city. Even then, it would be a very long shot.

 

[mistoffolees]

It does not appear that Florida has a "standard visitation" outlined.

There is no statutory standard, but there are commonly used ones - unfortunately, they don't mention transportation at all. For example:
Typical visitation schedule - Standard visitation

Notice one oddity of FL law. "The non-residential parent shall be expected to maintain any regularly scheduled important events while exercising visitation (i.e. religious observances, team sports, music instruction, etc.)."
While the religious observances part is probably unenforceable, the rest could be a major problem from 200 miles away.

Here's one good template:
http://www.flcourts18.org/PDF/GUIDELINES-LONGDISTANCE.pdf
A couple of interesting things. First, it says that NCP picks up the child at CP's home, but then the delivery can be either at CP's home, NCP's home, or a mutually agreed location.
For cost, they simply give you the options - NCP pays, CP pays, or cost is split. There doesn't seem to be any preference to any of these options.

 

[DownTime]

I tend to agree that the CP would not likely be ordered full transport cost, and maybe not even half if it's all done correctly.

There are a couple important things to note in this case.

1. The NCPs lawyer is not your friend. While they likely laid out all options to the NCP, (from probable outcome based on the norm all the way to what can be gotten away with if the CP doesn't know any better), the option chosen by the NCP is the one they are going to work to obtain, damn the rest.

2. If the CP wanted to move 50 miles or more with the kids, they would have to file a Petition to Relocate. It would have to be based on the best interest of the children, and show a substantial *material* change that was not forseen in the last ordered time sharing schedule, among other things. If it's the NCP asking, and they could feasibley obtain the visitation schedule for the kids as they are now without moving, but choose to move anyways, the CP offering a halfway meeting will probably be held to that if it went to trial.

While it looks better on the CP trying to find a middle ground outside of litigation, inside litigation may adopt the CPs suggestion as fair because it was offered, which may say that the CP doesn't mind the extra expense and time.

If the NCP could viabley find what they need closer, and that may be up to the CP to prove, then the CP could ask for the NCP to cover all transportation. And chances are that if you don't ask, you may not get it, especially if you have an offer on the table for halfway via the NCPs lawyer.