Treatment

[OnBehalfOfOther]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Maryland

I have primary physical custody of my recently turned fifteen-year-old daughter (Simone), and although I must consult my ex-husband (Doug) on important health issues, I have the final determination of treatment.

Simone was under the care of an orthodontist in Maryland before we moved to Germany, for three years while in Germany ending in June 2004, and was to resume orthodontic treatment upon our return to Maryland in September 2004. While in Germany, Doug had summer and Christmas visitations with Simone. This last summer, we returned to the same Maryland home we left (Doug also resides in Maryland about 45 minutes south of where we live).

In July of the same year, Doug took Simone to an orthodontist in the city he lived in for treatment; he also tried to enroll her in the local public high school (they wouldn't accept her without records), signed her up for local sporting activities and was actively pursuing dance instruction for her. He then filed for custody (which essentially ended when Simone told him that she did not want to move).

Anyway (and my lawyer was floored when I told him this), Doug took her to an orthodontist with out any legal authority to do so, but more importantly: without medical, dental, or orthodontic records (as they were in my possession). The orthodontist treated Simone on at least two occasions, probably more. There is no doubt Simone was in treatment before Doug took her because she had appliances in her mouth. When Simone moved back home in August, she told me about this and when I questioned Doug, he wouldn't tell me who this orthodontist was. What I'm wondering is -

Is there any requirement for a professional, such as a doctor, to conduct any research when a child comes in for routine (as opposed to emergency) treatment accompanied by someone with neither medical nor dental records (and in this case, also without legal authority)? To me, the lack of these is a flashing red light, and even smells of parental abduction. Thank goodness the local public school system had such simple checks and balances.

Thanks!

 

[Buddabrother]

While I can't comment on Maryland, in Colorado a non-custodial parent with no medical records, no insurance, and no legal right to consent to non-emergency treatment can take an abducted child in and with a song and a dance start hyperthyroid treatments, medication, and all the way to the chemical/radioactive ablation stage of treatment before someone asks if they have the right to do invasive surgery on a child...my surfing the net and locating pediatric endocrinologists in the city in question and faxing them ALL copies of my divorce/custody decree from Texas was what put a stop to it.

Child is being treated now in home state after recovery, but from first hand experience, no...physicians don't check JACK unless there is clearly a possibility they will be liable...or to be more charitable, they are just looking to help a kid out in a tough situation, but don't take the time to check the paperwork...a large part of their not checking is the cock-and-bull story fed them by the other parent.

Sorry to vent.

 

[CJane]

What exactly does your decree say re: routine and minor medical care/decisions?

As far as enrolling her in sports/etc, as long as your parenting time wasn't interfered with, it's none of your business. And yes, it's good that the school wouldn't let him enroll her.

 

[OnBehalfOfOther]

I understand completely...

While I can't comment on Maryland, in Colorado a non-custodial parent with no medical records, no insurance, and no legal right to consent to non-emergency treatment can take an abducted child in and with a song and a dance start hyperthyroid treatments, medication, and all the way to the chemical/radioactive ablation stage of treatment before someone asks if they have the right to do invasive surgery on a child...my surfing the net and locating pediatric endocrinologists in the city in question and faxing them ALL copies of my divorce/custody decree from Texas was what put a stop to it.

Child is being treated now in home state after recovery, but from first hand experience, no...physicians don't check JACK unless there is clearly a possibility they will be liable...or to be more charitable, they are just looking to help a kid out in a tough situation, but don't take the time to check the paperwork...a large part of their not checking is the cock-and-bull story fed them by the other parent.

Sorry to vent.

I understand venting completely...
He did all this thinking that his lack of child support would be made up for by having her move in with him - now his 19-year-old son has nothing to do with him and his daughter is not too far behind. Not my doing (despite the fact he's a deadbeat, I've always made a point of getting them to see him); they really begin to see the writing on the walls as they get older.

Five years later, and I'm pregnant (been remarried for a few years now). At the Child Support hearing, upon leaving, Doug turns to me and says, "I hope you die in childbirth." I vent often...

My basis for how well I've raised the kids is where they come for Thanksgiving and Christmas when they can go anywhere they want.

 

[OnBehalfOfOther]

Follow-up

What exactly does your decree say re: routine and minor medical care/decisions?

As far as enrolling her in sports/etc, as long as your parenting time wasn't interfered with, it's none of your business. And yes, it's good that the school wouldn't let him enroll her.

The sporting events sign-up backfired on him, because even though it DID interfere with my parenting time, I didn't want to look like the bad parent and pull her out of soccer. Instead, when it did interfere, I just went to all her games, cheered her on, congratulated her when she was done, and drove her home. Doug was furious.

He also went to the high school where Simone was registered (here), and demanded the student records be released to him. He terrorized three members of the staff to the point that two of them were coming to the custody hearing mentioned to testify that he is both unstable and unsafe. The other one was too scared of what he may do if she testified. Two out of three ain't bad!

The idea was him being able to tell Simone - now that she was enrolled there, is playing soccer there, dances there, is getting her ortho treatment there, that doesn't she just want to live there? Fortunately, as the year progressed, Simone saw this behavior as a little too controlling for her (she was in the school when Doug went in), and told him in no uncertain terms, "NO!"

I'll have to get back to you on exact wording (I don't have the decree with me), but it is essentially that I make the final determination of care, and I will consult him on major medical treatments.