Trying to get more custody of my daughter

[jvin1984]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado
my daughter and her mother live in Louisiana though.

I am in the military and currently deployed to Iraq right now and i only get a few chances a month to call my daughter. well my ex wife sends me emails saying just dont bother calling. i try to explain to her that i only get a few chances a month and she gets so mad b/c she thinks i can call whenever.

well my question is when i get home i am trying to get more custody of our child. right now she has full custody. and i only get 3 visitation days when i travel from colorado to louisiana. even if i am there for a month. i was wondering do i need a lawyer in louisiana or colorado? and also what is the likly hood that i could see my daughter more and she would be able to come out to colorado for a month or so at a time in the summer? I am not an unfit father infact i am helping my fiancee raise her daughter right now and she loves me being around. I pay my child support every month. i try to be there as much as possible for her. its just hard being here right now and knowing she is goign to try to use that against me when i get home. well thanks in advance for your advice.

 

[Ohiogal]

You won't get a change in custody based on what you have stated however you may very well get visitation increased. Does your child have email access? Email the child. What time do you call in Louisiana?

 

[jvin1984]

why??

just a question but why wouldnt i get more custody?? i mean i am in iraq right now but only for a few more months then when i get home i plan on trying to get a lawyer and getting more custody. she does not have email accress she is only 5 yr's old. i usually call in the morning before she goes to school. then i will call after dinner time around 7 p.m. so it is resonable times. and i have emailed her numerously asking her for a good time to contact her so i could call and talk to her. and she always states just dont call she understands i dont want to talk to her and things of that sort.

 

[LdiJ]

just a question but why wouldnt i get more custody?? i mean i am in iraq right now but only for a few more months then when i get home i plan on trying to get a lawyer and getting more custody. she does not have email accress she is only 5 yr's old. i usually call in the morning before she goes to school. then i will call after dinner time around 7 p.m. so it is resonable times. and i have emailed her numerously asking her for a good time to contact her so i could call and talk to her. and she always states just dont call she understands i dont want to talk to her and things of that sort.

How much time have you been able to spend with the child since birth? You will have been in Iraq for what, a year?...and only saw her a few times a year prior to that?

Your problem dad is that you live a long way away from your daughter, and it sounds as if you are somewhat of a stranger to her. Its not very likely that a judge would give you a whole month at a time, right off the bat, if the child has never spent more than a couple of days with you, a couple of times a year. You are going to have to work up to that.

 

[Ohiogal]

In order to get more CUSTODY you have to show a substantial change in circumstance in the LIFE OF THE CHILD. Not in your life. But in the child's. What will change in the child's life that makes it in the child's best interest for you to have more custody? More visitation time is a possibility though you can expect as the other poster stated to have a graduated visitation plan.

 

[jvin1984]

ook

well me and the mother of the child were married for 4 yrs and i spent the first 3 yrs of my daughters life with her so she knows me. the mom says she does ask about me and ask where i am and stuff like that. the mom doesnt tell me what she tells her. but i have spent time with her and i am no stranger. i try to make it to louisiana about 3 times a yr and spend 3 days with her each time. every time i go she runs up to me and hugs me and tells me she loves me so so much and misses me. no i am af i have only been in iraq 3 months and have 3 more to go and i saw her right before i left.

 

[jvin1984]

visitation

well that is acctully what i am trying to get more visitation when i am home in louisiana and when she old enough to fly i would like to fly her out to colorado and spend more time with her during the summer months. another question though should i obtain a lawyer in louisiana or should i obtain one in colorado??

 

[LdiJ]

well that is acctully what i am trying to get more visitation when i am home in louisiana and when she old enough to fly i would like to fly her out to colorado and spend more time with her during the summer months. another question though should i obtain a lawyer in louisiana or should i obtain one in colorado??

Which state has jurisdiction of the case? Which state made the original orders? That is the state where you would file.

While your description of the situation is definitely better than what your original post seemed to indicate, you may still not get a full month right off the bat.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

When you do go to court, get "virtual" parenting time. By that, X amount of time on the phone per week & possible webcam/ emailing/ messaging.

The job, as a custodial parent, is to facilitate a relationship between the NCP and the child. Mom should be doing so, but if phone calls aren't in the court order, she wouldn't be in contempt.

FYI - children LOVE to get mail. Are you sending her letters?