Unborn child fathers rights

[gotwood]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Hello everyone and thank you in advance. I'm a 32yr old male and in a sticky situation. A girl I was "seeing" for only a few weeks got pregnant and she says that she is 100% sure it is mine. Since I don't really know her I'm only 95% sure. I've told her that I want a DNA test and she has no problem with that. I tried to stay with her, but it was only a physical attraction and we are just not a match. Now she is pretty difficult to deal with even though I try to talk to her about how she is feeling and have even given her money to fix her car. I'm going to have many questions throughout but I would like to start with knowing what my rights are now. She won't let me go to doctor's appts with her, but she did bring over a CD with the ultrasound pictures. My other question for now is about medicaid. She and the child are covered by medicaid, where as I have insurance through my job. I told her that I don't want my name on the birth certificate until I see the DNA test results. How will that work? Will medicaid come after me for the money once my name goes on the birth certificate? Should I or can I even get insurance through my work on an unborn child?

Again, thank you for your time as I appreciate any and all of your advice

 

[acmb05]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Hello everyone and thank you in advance. I'm a 32yr old male and in a sticky situation. A girl I was "seeing" for only a few weeks got pregnant and she says that she is 100% sure it is mine. Since I don't really know her I'm only 95% sure. I've told her that I want a DNA test and she has no problem with that. I tried to stay with her, but it was only a physical attraction and we are just not a match. Now she is pretty difficult to deal with even though I try to talk to her about how she is feeling and have even given her money to fix her car. I'm going to have many questions throughout but I would like to start with knowing what my rights are now. She won't let me go to doctor's appts with her, but she did bring over a CD with the ultrasound pictures. My other question for now is about medicaid. She and the child are covered by medicaid, where as I have insurance through my job. I told her that I don't want my name on the birth certificate until I see the DNA test results. How will that work? Will medicaid come after me for the money once my name goes on the birth certificate? Should I or can I even get insurance through my work on an unborn child?

Again, thank you for your time as I appreciate any and all of your advice

Unless you are married the the woman your insurance will not allow you to add her to your policy. Once the child is born and paternity is established you could add the child to your policy.

Check with a local attorney and see if you can file for a DNA test to be done as soon as the child is born. You may or may not be able to file before the child is born and have the test done in the hospital the day of birth.

 

[mistoffolees]

Unless you are married the the woman your insurance will not allow you to add her to your policy. Once the child is born and paternity is established you could add the child to your policy.

Check with a local attorney and see if you can file for a DNA test to be done as soon as the child is born. You may or may not be able to file before the child is born and have the test done in the hospital the day of birth.

In addition, you have no right to go to the doctors' appointments. She doesn't have to show you the ultrasound, so be thankful that she's being cooperative.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Hello everyone and thank you in advance. I'm a 32yr old male and in a sticky situation. A girl I was "seeing" for only a few weeks got pregnant and she says that she is 100% sure it is mine. Since I don't really know her I'm only 95% sure. I've told her that I want a DNA test and she has no problem with that. I tried to stay with her, but it was only a physical attraction and we are just not a match. Now she is pretty difficult to deal with even though I try to talk to her about how she is feeling and have even given her money to fix her car. I'm going to have many questions throughout but I would like to start with knowing what my rights are now. She won't let me go to doctor's appts with her, but she did bring over a CD with the ultrasound pictures. My other question for now is about medicaid. She and the child are covered by medicaid, where as I have insurance through my job. I told her that I don't want my name on the birth certificate until I see the DNA test results. How will that work? Will medicaid come after me for the money once my name goes on the birth certificate? Should I or can I even get insurance through my work on an unborn child?

Again, thank you for your time as I appreciate any and all of your advice

You will have no rights of any kind until you file for paternity/custody/visitation/child support after the baby is born...and a DNA test proves that you are the father.

You also have no responsibilities until then either...although its quite nice of you to provide mom some help here and there.

However, medicaid does routinely go after unwed fathers for reimbursement of the birthing costs. Your work will not provide any insurance benefits for a child that isn't even legally yours yet. You would have to be married to mom and have her enrolled on your policy before any birthing costs would be covered.

 

[PQN]

Check with your insurance company to see how long you have to add the child to the policy for it to be retroactive to birth. Also check to see if you can add the baby and then drop him/her if the DNA test shows that you are not the dad.

 

[liandrajade]

You will have no rights of any kind until you file for paternity/custody/visitation/child support after the baby is born...and a DNA test proves that you are the father.

Only thing I want to add to this LD, is that in NY, if an affidavit of paternity is filled out at birth by both parents, it is filed in NY's putative father registry and speeds up the process for him. My ex and I did so, we were unmarried etc.

 

[LdiJ]

Check with your insurance company to see how long you have to add the child to the policy for it to be retroactive to birth. Also check to see if you can add the baby and then drop him/her if the DNA test shows that you are not the dad.

Retroactive to birth isn't going to happen with an insurance company in an unwed situation. Its just not going to happen. He won't be able to add the child until paternity is established...the state also cannot go after him for the birthing costs unless DNA proves that he is the father.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Only thing I want to add to this LD, is that in NY, if an affidavit of paternity is filled out at birth by both parents, it is filed in NY's putative father registry and speeds up the process for him. My ex and I did so, we were unmarried etc.

So you're advicating someone who isn't married to stand up and say... YUP! I'm the father, and be on the hook for the next 18 years while the child may not be his? Not good advice... IMHO.

 

[LdiJ]

So you're advicating someone who isn't married to stand up and say... YUP! I'm the father, and be on the hook for the next 18 years while the child may not be his? Not good advice... IMHO.

Putative father's registries don't do that...they state that "maybe" someone is the father and therefore that someone needs to included/ruled out via DNA as the father prior to major legal decisions being made about the child.

 

[liandrajade]

So you're advicating someone who isn't married to stand up and say... YUP! I'm the father, and be on the hook for the next 18 years while the child may not be his? Not good advice... IMHO.

No, I am just saying that in NY, if an unmarried couple have a child and that form is filled out and they are BOTH 100% sure that dad is the only dad, that will help the process when it is started to establish paternity. I am not saying at all that if there is any doubt to NOT take a DNA test. In my case, we were not married, we filled out the Acknowledgment of Paternity, we both signed it, it was filed with NYS Putative father registry.

When we ended up in court later on, that acknowledgment PLUS his testimony on the record that he acknowledges being the father of my child TOGETHER was enough to enter an order of filiation and establish legal paternity in NY. He waived his right to a DNA test also I have to add.

But yes I do see exactly what you mean on how that can be used wrongly and incorrectly. Not every case is so cut and dry when it comes to establishing the father and I would never advise someone it is.

 

[gotwood]

Thanks for the answers and advice. I think I need to get in contact with a lawyer now and talk face to face with someone. She lost custody if her first daughter to her parents about 5 yrs ago and can only have supervised visitation due to her being addicted to cocaine. Being as I have no rights, is there some sort of loop hole for me to use to get her drug tested now?

 

[Antigone*]

Thanks for the answers and advice. I think I need to get in contact with a lawyer now and talk face to face with someone. She lost custody if her first daughter to her parents about 5 yrs ago and can only have supervised visitation due to her being addicted to cocaine. Being as I have no rights, is there some sort of loop hole for me to use to get her drug tested now?

There are no loop holes. At this point you are no one to her and no one to her child.

 

[nextwife]

And, in the future, if you don't want to get stuck co-parenting with a virtual stranger, at MINIMUM, make sure you are both using birth control.

 

[Proserpina]

And, in the future, if you don't want to get stuck co-parenting with a virtual stranger, at MINIMUM, make sure you are both using birth control.

Well, his screen name is somewhat suggestive of a certain uh...disposition, if you will.

 

[gotwood]

And, in the future, if you don't want to get stuck co-parenting with a virtual stranger, at MINIMUM, make sure you are both using birth control.

Well, she was but was put on an antibiotic that counteracted with it. And how excactly does that answer my question? Hindsight is always 20/20 but I am trying to make the best of this, I don't really need people to tell me what I SHOULD have done. Since I found out, I quit drinking and have been trying to get my life in order to be ready to do the right thing. I've been working 64 hrs a week just to get all my bills paid up and to save money for the life that is coming my way. I always try to learn from my life decisions and I will NEVER call this a mistake. Sorry if I come across rude, but please don't answer questions that I am not asking.

And for any wondering, the screename is what I use for everything due to my last name being Wood