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Underage Porn, Abuse, Child custody - Desperate

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Keenat

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

In 1997, I became involved with a 21-year-old male at the age of 16. He took me to the health department behind my mothers back and got me birth control. He initiated a sexual relationship involving explicit pictures of the two of us intended for sale on an Internet website. I have these pictures in print form.

I ended up marrying him at the age of 17. The relationship quickly became physically and emotionally abusive when I refused to make pictures or video or satisfy his “desires.” He never left physical evidence of abuse. He had me convinced that it was a wife’s duty to submit to her husband anytime he wanted. There were many times when he forced me to have intercourse against my will. I would be crying and begging him to stop; and telling him that it hurt. I didn’t report this because I was scared.

I became pregnant sometime around my 18th birthday. During my pregnancy he couldn’t keep a job and decided he was going to quit trying and grow a “porn empire.” We lost our insurance in my 8th month. In an effort to put food on the table I allowed him to convince me the porn wasn’t so bad and I somewhat cooperated. I was ready for the mental and emotional abuse to go away. And I was hungry.

When my daughter was 8 months he decided we weren’t making enough money and that I should be a stripper and he’d sit at home. Having convinced me that my whole family was against me and I had no other choice he would drop me off everyday and tell me not to come home without money.

After 1 year of this, he decided that we needed to move to a larger city where more money could be made. On a Thursday, he told me we were moving 6 hours away in 2 days and that I couldn’t tell anyone. We left our apartment and put our stuff in storage and moved. I wasn’t allowed to call my family until we got there. We lived in a hotel for a few months while I was dropped off each day at 11am and picked up at 2am at a strip club. From the time my daughter was 8 months until she was 4 years old she witnessed sexual photo shoots while I was at work. She witnessed him hitting me, throwing things at me, yelling, screaming, and fighting when I would find out what had been happening while I was gone.

There were several occasions when I attempted to take her and leave or to kick him out. He would always threatened to tell the police that I was a “crazy, alcoholic, stripper” and that they would take my daughter away from me. He would also threaten to kill himself and put a guilt trip on me. I was very depressed and scared and didn’t know what to do. He actually took me to a doctor convinced the doctor that I needed Zoloft for my mood swings and depression.

In January 2004, while driving home in major traffic, with my daughter asleep in the back seat, he became enraged at me because I would not pull over and “service” him. He began hitting across the face with a pillow. I was swerving and knew that our lives were in danger. I knew that I had to make a break for it, if we were to make it out alive.

I worked and saved up money for a couple of months and in March 2004 I kicked him out. I actually put up a deposit on an apartment for him and told him he had no choice.
He was very violent and I was scared for my life. I had a friend sleep on my couch at night because he would bang on my door in the middle of the night. I didn’t report any of this because I was still scared that because I was a stripper CPS would take my daughter away from me.

In June, I went through Legal Aide and file for divorce. They told me that the quickest way to get it over with was to do it uncontested with the standard possession order. They also advised me not to report the abuse, unless I could prove it. I had no reports or physical evidence so I lied to the judge when he asked me if there was any family violence. I said no. That was a huge mistake.

The divorce was final in Oct 2004 with me being obligated to hand my 4 year old over to this abusive man.

In November 2004 my daughter comes home from a visit with her dad to her grandmothers house with hickies on her neck. When questioned they told me that it was from her putting a curling iron cord around her neck. Though this didn’t make sense to me, I had nothing else to go on. (I have pictures of her neck) A few months later, my daughter brought it up out of the blue. She told me that her female cousin who is 6 years older than her “had sucked on her neck, and told her to pretend like they were having XEX.” She said she had fondled her and done other things. I confronted my ex-husband only to have my 5-year-old accused of lying.

Since the divorce, our daughter has seen porn on his computer during his time with her. She has told me of things she has seen that no 5 year old should even know exists.

In May 2006, I hired an attorney to help me limit his time with her and limit the amount of time around that cousin. $35K later I was only able to get his time reduced. When a psychological evaluation and a probe into his life/business was initiated, he quickly wanted to settle and signed off on a much limited custody arrangement. We had an agreement that he would keep her away from that cousin. Since then, he has letter her spend the night with the cousin on several occasions. He also continues to make his living off of porn.

It has been two years since our modification of custody. It has been a constant battle with him to keep my daughters life normal. I’ve had her in counseling to try to help her sort out all of the mess he has created only for him to intervene. He put up a fight and didn’t want to sign the consent form. He showed up at every session and would get her all upset. She wouldn’t talk to the counselor because he would prep her every time. He would tell her to be careful what she said, because she might make it to where she couldn’t see him anymore. She began fighting me about going, so the counselor felt it was best to back off for a while.

Now she is getting older and wants to participate in sports and after school activities. He once again is trying to intervene. He doesn’t want to take her to anything that is during his time with her. Which means she will miss out on everything. He calls her and gives her guilt trips about what is more important, him or the stupid activity she loves. It’s not fair for her to have to choose. There is so much more to the story, but I am at a loss of what to do. Co-parenting is not possible with him. It’s not in her best interest for me to have to comply with his selfish demands.

Come to find out… there are several underage girls that he was involved with before me.. I’m really scared that he has a problem that might end up with her getting abused.

I don’t even know where to start. Please help me.
:confused:
 


Isis1

Senior Member
Now she is getting older and wants to participate in sports and after school activities. He once again is trying to intervene. He doesn’t want to take her to anything that is during his time with her. Which means she will miss out on everything. He calls her and gives her guilt trips about what is more important, him or the stupid activity she loves. It’s not fair for her to have to choose. There is so much more to the story, but I am at a loss of what to do. Co-parenting is not possible with him. It’s not in her best interest for me to have to comply with his selfish demands.
i'm only going to comment on this portion. dad is right. you have no business enrolling your daughter in ANYTHING that conflicts with dad's time. you are making promises to your daughter you are not bound by court order to keep. that's is bad co-parenting.
 

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