What is the name of your state? CA
My ex has our kids overnight every Tuesday and every other weekend. On Tuesday's he has the boys stay with him in his place. On the long weekends, he takes them to his parents house. The court recently ordered I do half the travel. I have not done the travel prev since my ex decided to move closer to work than the kids. He moved 35 miles away, his parents 30 miles away, and because of that, he or his dad did all the travel. Again, because of the agreement we had, I had no physical contact with my ex in-laws. Since the court ordered me to do the pick up, I have picked the kids up at my ex's house and once at Gma&Gpa's house. This morning I was instructed to go pick up the boys at G&G's house. This time they let me in the house, since the boys were not ready. I was shocked at how dirty the house was. Dirty is not the word for it, disgusting is more like it. They are pack rats and don't throw anything away. There were boxes and boxes everywhere. This is how they used to live, but my ex told me that the house was cleaned up. I have not seen the house in over a year. When I entered the house, I noticed a saw-zaw laying right beside the front door as you come in. The blade was not covered or protected at all. There was other tools right by the door in a bin with a router sitting on top. The kitchen had a "path" that you could walk into the main cooking part area. The kitchen table and the surrounding counter tops had papers and endless boxes of stuff everywhere. It is even worse in the main living area. There is only a small patch of carpet that is clean so the kids have a place to sit and watch TV or play video games. It is worse than what I am explaining. You can't even get into the formal living and dining room area, it is covered from wall to wall with stuff. I did not see the upstairs or the downstairs, but the level that I was at, it was gross. The kids say the house is like that all around. The kids stay there with G & G every other weekend. My ex works on weekends, so he only spends about half the time with the kids on his weekend. He takes them to his parents to watch them. I have asked that they be brought home, but he told me that I can't tell him what to do while he has them. I don't know what to do about his parents house. It is completly unacceptable for the kids to live in that mess and dangerous as well. I have thought about going to social services, but we are still in the court system. Only a part of our court case was decided by the judge. The rest he wants us to go to mediation, which my ex has said he will not cooporate in mediation. But that is not for another couple of weeks and then we don't appear in front of the judge for another month. I don't want to appear like I am doing anything in spite, but the living conditions are untollerable. If I don't do anything, doesn't that make me look like an unfit parent for allowing the kids to live in that mess? Another reason I hesitate to go to social services is because I really love my ex mother-in-law. We have not been close since the year long court battle begun, but she has always been kind to me (unlike my ex father-in-law) and she really loves our kids. My ex MIL will always hold a special part in my heart and I love her. We are not close anymore and don't talk because the court case is getting ugly. I am sure my ex is telling some wopper of some stories, which are not true. All that really does not matter, because I still care for her, but do not communicate with her. I am so torn on what to do. The kids should not have to live in that mess, but I don't speak with my ex or my in-laws. Everytime I try and talk with my ex he dismisses anything I say and then belittles me (The last time in front of our children). I just don't know what to do. If I say something, I will hurt the last person I love in my ex's family and if I don't say anything, I am allowing my kids to be put in danger. (Really the house is that bad). I need some advice. Please help!