Unfit Mother but not "Legally" Unfit

[Garrison32]

Hawaii

I have been divorced for 2 years. Ex-wife had an affair with a married man, and is still with him. We have a 5 year old daughter. I have custody EVERY week from Thursday afternoon till Sunday afternoon.

When we divorced, she and I split $64K in cash equally. She has pretty much spent than money as you will read in the next paragraph.

Ever since we divorced, my ex has bought a VW Toureg, then traded it in for a BMW sedan, and now traded the Bmer in to get a Mercedes. According to my daughter, my ex and her boyfriend argue a lot, and my daughter even argues with her mom, and my daughter even locks herself in her room to get away.

I wanted full custody in the beginning, but my attorney said that the affair holds no water in a divorce court, and the courts here in Hawaii favor the mother.

Bottom line is this: Everyone here that knows us can attest that I was more of a parent than my ex was, and I was wondering, does spending money above their means qualify as being irresponsible and unfit? I suspect that she has smoked pot since her boyfriend does, but I can't be 100% sure.

thanks for your time,
Garrison

 

[beth_parr]

I don't think spending money above what they can afford is grounds for change of custody. As long as she is taking care of your child then the courts arn't going to care what she spends. Useing drugs is grounds but you have to prove it. You can't go into court saying I think she smokes pot.

good luck,
beth

 

[tigger22472]

Nothing you have stated is means to change custody.

 

[trustknow1]

RE: question from Garrison......

...does spending money above their means qualify as being irresponsible and unfit?
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>

Just like tigger22472, I do not see anything usable.

Especially your question above. If that was true, almost everyone in America with kids would be guilty....especially this month shopping for Christmas! lol

 

[betterthanher]

I don't think spending money above what they can afford is grounds for change of custody.

BUT...if case law exists where a parent lost custody because of financial irresponsibility, it could also be used, in addition to other issues that might exist. But, if this is OP's only thing, it's nothing.

 

[tigger22472]

BUT...if case law exists where a parent lost custody because of financial irresponsibility, it could also be used, in addition to other issues that might exist. But, if this is OP's only thing, it's nothing.

The only way that financial irresponsibility would come into play (including case law), and I say this with UPMOST confidence is if the financial irresponsiblity meant the child was not getting the basic needs... at which point it would be considered neglect.... not 'financial irresponsibility'

 

[Garrison32]

Thanks people. I didn't think there was much of a case. It's just frustrating you know?

 

[betterthanher]

The only way that financial irresponsibility would come into play (including case law), and I say this with UPMOST confidence is if the financial irresponsiblity meant the child was not getting the basic needs... at which point it would be considered neglect.... not 'financial irresponsibility'

Which is why I mentioned among "other things." I was able to use this (there is case law in Ohio) as one of the reasons and was successful. But, there was more to it...