What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC
Hello. I need help in figuring out the steps I need to take to secure the safety of my 4 yr old son. During the time that I was married to my ex-husband he was an abusive (towards me, but not my kids) alcoholic. At the end of our marriage, he had finally stopped drinking. So I allowed him to get my son every other weekend, and it had been that way for 3 yrs. The thing is that he never called to ask for him, I always called to see if he wanted him. I also had to drive 45 minutes to take my son to his house (he had his license taken away for too many dui's). He never called while my son was with me to see how he was doing. He never asked if he could have him any extra days and never wanted to know about day care or doctor appts or anything. This past Christmas I asked him if he wanted him, and he said he didn't. He didn't get him until 2 wks later. My point is that I felt like I had to push him to see our son.
My son all of a started wetting his bed (he had been potty trained for over a year) and was coming home acting different than normal (crying over every little thing, throwing fits, and being mean to me and his siblings). This went on for about a month. He would get better a few days after getting back from his fathers, but start all over when he would spend the weekend there. The last weekend he stayed there, I went to pick him up on Sunday and he was acting worse than usual. After his bath, he got on his bed so that I could put his clothes on him. I saw that his rectum was raw (it wasn't this way when he left), so I asked if it was hurting him and what happened. He said his dad put butter on his butt and poked him with his finger. I put my son to bed, and went to call his dad. His father was so drunk he couldn't give me a straight answer, so I told him he was never allowed any where around my son ever again.
His father didn't call back until 3 days later. He said that he thought my son was talking about how he (father) calls his girlfriend "Butter". He made no sense in explaining any of it. So I told him he still couldn't see his son.
I didn't let any one know because I didn't want to put my son through anything else. His father has not called back since then (its been 2 mths). My son has stopped wetting his bed and he has started acting the way he used to before all of this.
Yesterday, I came home to sheriffs dept waiting to serve me custody papers. My son's father has an attorney now and he is wanting to get joint custody (every weekend, holidays, and part of the summer) and wants to have a say in major decisions for my son. I can't let him do this. I don't want him any where around my son, for the safety of my son. I wasn't going to say anything to anyone about what he possibly did to my son because I didn't want a circus around my 4yr old.
What can I do? Where do I start first? And do I need to get DSS involved or is it too late? Please help me, for my son's sake. Thank you in advance!
Hello. I need help in figuring out the steps I need to take to secure the safety of my 4 yr old son. During the time that I was married to my ex-husband he was an abusive (towards me, but not my kids) alcoholic. At the end of our marriage, he had finally stopped drinking. So I allowed him to get my son every other weekend, and it had been that way for 3 yrs. The thing is that he never called to ask for him, I always called to see if he wanted him. I also had to drive 45 minutes to take my son to his house (he had his license taken away for too many dui's). He never called while my son was with me to see how he was doing. He never asked if he could have him any extra days and never wanted to know about day care or doctor appts or anything. This past Christmas I asked him if he wanted him, and he said he didn't. He didn't get him until 2 wks later. My point is that I felt like I had to push him to see our son.
My son all of a started wetting his bed (he had been potty trained for over a year) and was coming home acting different than normal (crying over every little thing, throwing fits, and being mean to me and his siblings). This went on for about a month. He would get better a few days after getting back from his fathers, but start all over when he would spend the weekend there. The last weekend he stayed there, I went to pick him up on Sunday and he was acting worse than usual. After his bath, he got on his bed so that I could put his clothes on him. I saw that his rectum was raw (it wasn't this way when he left), so I asked if it was hurting him and what happened. He said his dad put butter on his butt and poked him with his finger. I put my son to bed, and went to call his dad. His father was so drunk he couldn't give me a straight answer, so I told him he was never allowed any where around my son ever again.
His father didn't call back until 3 days later. He said that he thought my son was talking about how he (father) calls his girlfriend "Butter". He made no sense in explaining any of it. So I told him he still couldn't see his son.
I didn't let any one know because I didn't want to put my son through anything else. His father has not called back since then (its been 2 mths). My son has stopped wetting his bed and he has started acting the way he used to before all of this.
Yesterday, I came home to sheriffs dept waiting to serve me custody papers. My son's father has an attorney now and he is wanting to get joint custody (every weekend, holidays, and part of the summer) and wants to have a say in major decisions for my son. I can't let him do this. I don't want him any where around my son, for the safety of my son. I wasn't going to say anything to anyone about what he possibly did to my son because I didn't want a circus around my 4yr old.
What can I do? Where do I start first? And do I need to get DSS involved or is it too late? Please help me, for my son's sake. Thank you in advance!