Unjust system

[bettyboopbiker]

What is the name of your state? Ga
I went to the lawyer today with my husband and was told that since HIS parents signed affadavits saying he has abused his children, he will not be able to see his daughter for months ( already been 3) while the case gets pushed around.
They have ABSOLUTELY no proof as he had NEVER even spanked the child in question.
They are alienating him from his daughter because he yelled at her for lying to him.
We were told that if the daughter ( 11 yr old) does not want to visit , that the courts will not make her??
Of course she does not want to visit because her dad has rules and her mom does not. The child in question was making F's in school , is in poor health ( she weighs 190 lbs ) , and is now moving ( with Mom) for the fourth time in 4 years.
How is it in the best interest for the child to not visit her father?
What good is it for him to have COURT ORDERED visitation if there is no one to enforce it ?
His parents and His EX are claiming emoitonal and physical abuse by him towards ALL of his children. Then why is no one protecting the two that we have ? The affadavits that they signed says they witnessed him abusing ALL the children . But they are so concerned for the safety and welfare of the DAUGHTER and no one is trying to protect their other grandchildren who live in the home with this " explosive man " .
I am so confused and he is so hurt.

 

[fairisfair]

because if this is true, the YOU should be the one who is protecting your children.

So, his own parents are willing to testify to his abuse??

Get real, and open your eyes.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? Ga
I went to the lawyer today with my husband and was told that since HIS parents signed affadavits saying he has abused his children, he will not be able to see his daughter for months ( already been 3) while the case gets pushed around.
They have ABSOLUTELY no proof as he had NEVER even spanked the child in question.
They are alienating him from his daughter because he yelled at her for lying to him.
We were told that if the daughter ( 11 yr old) does not want to visit , that the courts will not make her??
Of course she does not want to visit because her dad has rules and her mom does not. The child in question was making F's in school , is in poor health ( she weighs 190 lbs ) , and is now moving ( with Mom) for the fourth time in 4 years.
How is it in the best interest for the child to not visit her father?
What good is it for him to have COURT ORDERED visitation if there is no one to enforce it ?
His parents and His EX are claiming emoitonal and physical abuse by him towards ALL of his children. Then why is no one protecting the two that we have ? The affadavits that they signed says they witnessed him abusing ALL the children . But they are so concerned for the safety and welfare of the DAUGHTER and no one is trying to protect their other grandchildren who live in the home with this " explosive man " .
I am so confused and he is so hurt.

Why would his parents lie about this? Does he have a "bad" relationship with them??

 

[syskjw]

Is there a current court order suspendeing visitation till court? I know a complaint with witnesses was done but you haven't stated that there was a court order stopping visitation.
And I'm sure someone here will correct me on this because I/m not sure but if there is no court order suspending visitation couldn't he file a civil contempt? And I would due to the circumstances have supervised visitation until this matter is settled. That way you can at least see your child.

 

[fairisfair]

Is there a current court order suspendeing visitation till court? I know a complaint with witnesses was done but you haven't stated that there was a court order stopping visitation.
And I'm sure someone here will correct me on this because I/m not sure but if there is no court order suspending visitation couldn't he file a civil contempt? And I would due to the circumstances have supervised visitation until this matter is settled. That way you can at least see your child.

of course he could file contempt, however it is HIGHLY unlikely that a judge would place any kind of sanctions against the mother until this matter is settled.

 

[syskjw]

You will not need a lawyer to file a civil contempt order. Just go to the court house that your visitation order came from. And you will have to send a copy of the contempt order to the mother as well.

 

[bettyboopbiker]

Yes, he has already filed for contempt. SHe filed an answer to the contempt saying that he was abusive and had affadavits from his parents saying he was abusive. He used to have an OK relationship with his parents. His parents do not want his daughter to be upset. SHe was upset because he yelled at her for lying to him about her grades. She got F's on her report card and her and her mom lied about them. He has never even spanked her because he knows that the Ex would not approve. If he doesn't get visitation then the daughter goes to his parents because Ex works. Ex told his parents that they lied about her report card so Dad would not abuse daughter for the F's. They have not one ounce of proof as it has NEVER happened. I have a statement from her pediatrician as well as affadavits from 15 other people including the EX's parents. The Ex sent him a letter when this started saying she was refusing visitation because the daughter didn't want to come because she was yelled at and that was considered abuse and until she wanted to come she was not coming. Nothing about physical abuse. The physical abuse allegations came about after she went to a lawyer.
No, there is no court order resricting visitation. He has filed for contempt and for a gaurdian ad litem .

 

[bettyboopbiker]

because if this is true, the YOU should be the one who is protecting your children.

So, his own parents are willing to testify to his abuse??

Get real, and open your eyes.

Im not sure what YOU are trying to say but I am protecting my children. Our children are normal, spoiled kids that get straight A's and have never been abused in any way by anyone. They are healthy , are involved in a lot of activities including church where people see them on a regular basis .
If your intent in your response is only to Judge without knowing or trying to know the facts then maybe you should keep your opinions to yourself.
I came to this forum for advise as this is a very stressful situation. If he were abusive, I would leave. PERIOD !
If he abused her, why would he be fighting so hard and spending so much?
My point, which you overlooked, was if his parents were trying to be good grandparents and protect thier grandchild then why would they also not try and protect the other grandchild that they are saying is also abused? Wouldn't a judge think that it is odd that a Gparent would make a statement of abuse but only protect one of the abused children?

 

[escape2paradise]

Im not sure what YOU are trying to say but I am protecting my children. Our children are normal, spoiled kids that get straight A's and have never been abused in any way by anyone. They are healthy , are involved in a lot of activities including church where people see them on a regular basis .
If your intent in your response is only to Judge without knowing or trying to know the facts then maybe you should keep your opinions to yourself.
I came to this forum for advise as this is a very stressful situation. If he were abusive, I would leave. PERIOD !
If he abused her, why would he be fighting so hard and spending so much?
My point, which you overlooked, was if his parents were trying to be good grandparents and protect thier grandchild then why would they also not try and protect the other grandchild that they are saying is also abused? Wouldn't a judge think that it is odd that a Gparent would make a statement of abuse but only protect one of the abused children?

What do these statements say? Do they just alledge that they believe she is abused or do they actually claim eye witness accounts of the abuse, dates, times etc... ?

 

[bettyboopbiker]

What do these statements say? Do they just alledge that they believe she is abused or do they actually claim eye witness accounts of the abuse, dates, times etc... ?

The statements say they have witnessed him be physical and mentally abusive to his daughter as well as his other children.
It does not say what the abuse was or when it happened. The lawyer said that it was done that way because it makes it an opinion and we can't deny a judgement call that they make. They can say that he threw a pillow at her and that was physical abuse !
Now just waiting on the Guardian that was appointed yesterday.

 

[escape2paradise]

The statements say they have witnessed him be physical and mentally abusive to his daughter as well as his other children.
It does not say what the abuse was or when it happened. The lawyer said that it was done that way because it makes it an opinion and we can't deny a judgement call that they make. They can say that he threw a pillow at her and that was physical abuse !
Now just waiting on the Guardian that was appointed yesterday.

This doesn't sound right. My X accused me and DH of "abuse" as well. He just kept throwing around the word like if he said it and stated it enough times it would stick. Wrong! They have to show abuse as is it legally defined in your state. X still won't give any concrete examples of the alleged abuse, because there is none. The mother can't just keep the child from you because of her allegations. This would be contempt until she can get an order stating otherwise.

Can't your attorney get this into court? I know some places take forever, our courts here aren't like that. I live in a large urban area and our county court schedules hearings within a couple of weeks. Not full blown trials, but hearings where each side gets 5 or so minutes to state their case. It the situation is more complicated the judge will issue temporary order until a full hearing can be scheduled.

 

[LdiJ]

This doesn't sound right. My X accused me and DH of "abuse" as well. He just kept throwing around the word like if he said it and stated it enough times it would stick. Wrong! They have to show abuse as is it legally defined in your state. X still won't give any concrete examples of the alleged abuse, because there is none. The mother can't just keep the child from you because of her allegations. This would be contempt until she can get an order stating otherwise.

Can't your attorney get this into court? I know some places take forever, our courts here aren't like that. I live in a large urban area and our county court schedules hearings within a couple of weeks. Not full blown trials, but hearings where each side gets 5 or so minutes to state their case. It the situation is more complicated the judge will issue temporary order until a full hearing can be scheduled.

Its very damning that his own parents backed up mom's allegations. That is the kind of thing that can cause a judge to veer from established proceedure.

 

[bettyboopbiker]

We filed for contempt the first of May. First hearing is the end of August.

I know it is damming because it is HIS PARENTS. They still have to prove something though and they can't.

The daughter is obviously not afraid of her dad and anyone that is around her will see that. The dughter sent Dad a letter saying that she does not have to come if she does not want to and that her and her mom are the only ones that have a say on what goes on in Her life ! Sound like a scared little girl ? Her mom told her that her dad never wanted her and that he wanted her to have an abortion when she was pregnant but that she said she would not KILL her baby! He swears that never happened but even if it had why the heck tell your child ?
Her health is poor and she is failing on school. Does that not count for anything ?
Our other children ( that live with us ) are healthy and doing good in school. Not trying to compare the kids, but you can compare parenting based on the kids right ?

 

[Ohiogal]

NO you cannot compare parenting based on the kids.

 

[bettyboopbiker]

Yeah , Ohiogal you are probably right. Kids are all different and that would be an unfair practice.
Good parenting does not ALWAYS bring good kids. That said, you do have to look at the parents when the child is not doing well.
It should not be acceptable for a smart child to bring F's home. It is an indicator of a problem somewhere.