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unmarried to children's father. Seeking custody

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katiebubbles

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Florida

Although I am not legally married to the children's father, his name is on their birth certificate. I want to move to California with the kids. I plan on staying at my parent's house. My parents are caring for my mentally unstable uncle in their home. Will this go against me? What should I do to seek full custody? We haven't officially taken any action yet. I have no attorney and can not afford one at the moment. I am uncertain of the law and would like any advice on what I should do. What is the process that I must complete before I move? Both of us are unemployed at the moment. I have taken time off because I believe it is best that their mother cared for them. He says that he wants to fight for full custody of them. Does he have the same rights as me, the mother? Can I legally take my kids to another state without him saying I kidnapped them? What steps do I need to take to file for full custody?
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state? Florida

Although I am not legally married to the children's father, his name is on their birth certificate.
I take it he signed an Affidavit of Paternity. As for my question regarding court orders, I was wondering if he is court ordered to pay child support or has court ordered visitation. If not then you have custody of your children.

I want to move to California with the kids. I plan on staying at my parent's house.
You can move with the children but anytime BEFORE you establish residency in California HE can go to court in Florida and file for custody and support and to have the children returned to him in Florida. Which could force you to move to Florida.

My parents are caring for my mentally unstable uncle in their home. Will this go against me?
Is your uncle dangerous? Does he have a violent criminal record? Does he have a record for abusing children?
What should I do to seek full custody?
You may already have it since there are not court orders determining otherwise but even with FULL custody through the courts you would still need the court's permission if not dad's to move the children away from their other parent.

We haven't officially taken any action yet. I have no attorney and can not afford one at the moment. I am uncertain of the law and would like any advice on what I should do. What is the process that I must complete before I move?
You may need to hire movers. you may need to take time to gather boxes and put your belongings in them and get a moving truck.

Both of us are unemployed at the moment. I have taken time off because I believe it is best that their mother cared for them. He says that he wants to fight for full custody of them. Does he have the same rights as me, the mother?
Yep the legal father has the same rights as the legal mother. He can fight for full custody. How old are the children?

Can I legally take my kids to another state without him saying I kidnapped them?
Without orders to the contrary yes you can take the kids to another state. However you may be ordered to return them.

What steps do I need to take to file for full custody?
You need to file in court by following the local rules. Gracie would have the instructions.
 

katiebubbles

Junior Member
Is your uncle dangerous? Does he have a violent criminal record? Does he have a record for abusing children?

He committed suicide and that left him physically disabled. He doesn't have a criminal record or a record for abusing children. He is not a danger as my mother and father take turns caring for him constantly.


You may need to hire movers. you may need to take time to gather boxes and put your belongings in them and get a moving truck.
Thanks for the laugh. I helped me.


Yep the legal father has the same rights as the legal mother. He can fight for full custody. How old are the children?
My oldest is 5 and the baby is 1.


You need to file in court by following the local rules. Gracie would have the instructions.
Thank you so much. I look forward to reading your replies.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Thank you so much. I look forward to reading your replies.
First of all your uncle did not commit suicide. He may have attempted but if had committed suicide then he would not need anyone to take care of him as he would be six feet under or cremated. Second living with him would not be an issue.
Third, how long were you and the father together? When did you break up?
 

Gracie3787

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Florida

Although I am not legally married to the children's father, his name is on their birth certificate. I want to move to California with the kids. I plan on staying at my parent's house. My parents are caring for my mentally unstable uncle in their home. Will this go against me? What should I do to seek full custody? We haven't officially taken any action yet. I have no attorney and can not afford one at the moment. I am uncertain of the law and would like any advice on what I should do. What is the process that I must complete before I move? Both of us are unemployed at the moment. I have taken time off because I believe it is best that their mother cared for them. He says that he wants to fight for full custody of them. Does he have the same rights as me, the mother? Can I legally take my kids to another state without him saying I kidnapped them? What steps do I need to take to file for full custody?
You can find all of the laws pertaining to custody, and relocation in chapter 61 of the Florida statutes. www.flsenate.gov/STATUTES

The Florida Rules of Civil Procedure- http://phonl.com/fl_law/rules/frcp

The Florida Family Law Rules- http://phonl.com/fl_law/rules/famlawrules

If you are going to do this without an attorney, you should get a consult with one to make sure your paperwork is in order. You can get a 30 minute consult for $25 by calling the Florida bar Lawyer Referral Service at 1-800-342-8011.
 

katiebubbles

Junior Member
WHY? That is a rather self-serving OPINION. There is no quantifiable evidence, that I'm aware of, backing up your contention.
I posted this thread to seek legal advice on what I should do. I didn't think I needed to prove how good of a mother I am.

I think she meant in relation to daycare and gave that as her excuse why she is unemployed.
I don't feel I am doing anything wrong by choosing to stay home with my kids. I'm not sure if you are rolling your eyes at my decision.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
This is partially about custody. If you stay in town, the kids get to have BOTH their parents in their everyday lives. You and dad can share custody. You are trying to unilaterally decide that you should not only be the one of two parents that gets primary custody, but that you should also move the children cross country away from their father. If you can afford to stay home, fine and dandy, that's your choice, but your choice is also impacting dad's rights to co-parent his child.

My comment about it being best if kids are cared for by their mother was not an attack on your parenting, but an attack on the idea that mothers are automatically better parents. The courts cannot consider gender - if the children have been living with both parents, both parents will be considered for custody. If both have been primary caregivers. for example, both will be considered. The courts will also take into consideration which parent is more likely to facilitate the children's relationship with the other parent.
 

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