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As an unmarried mother, if I die does my child's father automatically get custody?

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J

JJAlp

Guest
I am a single mother residing in Massachusetts. The father of my child and I have never wed and we have no formal custody agreement, though he is recognized as the father and he is an active parent. However, he is not capable of being my child's primary caregiver. Is it possible for me to name a guardian in the case that something happens to me, or does he automatically get custody?
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
JJAlp said:
I am a single mother residing in Massachusetts. The father of my child and I have never wed and we have no formal custody agreement, though he is recognized as the father and he is an active parent. However, he is not capable of being my child's primary caregiver. Is it possible for me to name a guardian in the case that something happens to me, or does he automatically get custody?
No, you can't "will" your child to someone. Children are not property. You can state your wishes in a will and if there isn't another parent odds are a judge would honor them. However your child has another parent, and admittedly an active one. The child would go to dad.
 
J

JJAlp

Guest
I'm looking for legal advice, not judgment

Actually, I am one of the above, and given the experiences I've had with him, I think I'm in a better place to judge his fitness than you. I came here for legal advice and figured people here might be helpful--why are you even here if all you're interested in doing is better mean and critical?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
The fact remains, however, that Dad is more likely to receive custody of the child than anyone else - family member or friend.
 

carofl93

Member
My brother went through a similar situation. His girlfrend was incarcerated and he wasn't truly capable of caring for their child alone due to head trauma, but because he lived at home with our parents he was given custody of the child. His name was on the birth certificate and a DNA test was done to prove he was the biological father. This was in NM...I am not sure how it works in your state. The mother wanted her parents to take the child but the judge ruled in favor of my brother. Our parents and my brother allowed visitation with her family and it all worked out well.

Carol
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
JJAlp said:
Actually, I am one of the above, and given the experiences I've had with him, I think I'm in a better place to judge his fitness than you. I came here for legal advice and figured people here might be helpful--why are you even here if all you're interested in doing is better mean and critical?
Because when people have babies without the legal protection of marriage then it's the law's decision who controlls, NOT the parents. And in this case, it's not YOUR decision whether or not the man you had sex with and produced a baby with is a viable father, it's the courts.

And without a clear showing of danger to the child, he WILL get custody.

But, for the sake of argument, let's say he doesn't. That still will not give you the right to 'will' your children. There are clear lines of succession in cases like these defined in your state statutes and if you hadn't been so pissy I would have gladly quoted them for you.

Now you can look for yourself. But 'friend' isn't on the list. So, again, you lose.
 

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