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Unwed mother custody rights

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Alwayshopeful

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

I am currently 8 weeks pregnant and was wondering about my custody rights when it comes to my child. The father is an ex-boyfriend of mine and he currently has a 16 yr old by someone else for which he already pays child support. I have every intention of having him be a part of the child's life and do not expect him to pay child support in my case, but I want to forearm myself in case he wants to sue for custody by knowing what my rights are. Does putting his name on the birth certificate increase his chances of gaining custody?
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

I am currently 8 weeks pregnant and was wondering about my custody rights when it comes to my child. The father is an ex-boyfriend of mine and he currently has a 16 yr old by someone else for which he already pays child support. I have every intention of having him be a part of the child's life and do not expect him to pay child support in my case, but I want to forearm myself in case he wants to sue for custody by knowing what my rights are. Does putting his name on the birth certificate increase his chances of gaining custody?
You will be the only parent this child has until paternity is established. You have the right to file for support. The alleged father has the right to file for paternity and custody/visitation.

Do you have an issue with the alleged father having some form of custody after paternity is established? If yes...Why?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
You will be the only parent this child has until paternity is established. You have the right to file for support. The alleged father has the right to file for paternity and custody/visitation.

Do you have an issue with the alleged father having some form of custody after paternity is established? If yes...Why?
I think she means primary custody.

OP, if dad files to establish his rights as the father then most likely he will get joint legal custody (joint decision making) as that is very much the norm these days. Whether or not he is on the birth certificate doesn't impact that.
 

Nocgirl

Member
It is way too early for you to be worried about custody. If you and Dad have a good relationship and remain civil, what are you worried about? If you do not put his name on the birth cert, not sure what that is going to accomplish. If you file for child support paternity will have to be established anyways. By not putting him on the birth cert, it may complicate everything. Little things like this and the last name, have a big impact on how involved this man will be.

Also, you are entitled to child support and you still may get some. Can you and Dad work something out between the 2 of you?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
It is way too early for you to be worried about custody. If you and Dad have a good relationship and remain civil, what are you worried about? If you do not put his name on the birth cert, not sure what that is going to accomplish. If you file for child support paternity will have to be established anyways. By not putting him on the birth cert, it may complicate everything. Little things like this and the last name, have a big impact on how involved this man will be.

Also, you are entitled to child support and you still may get some. Can you and Dad work something out between the 2 of you?
SHE can NOT put him on the birth certificate. This is an unmarried situation. it would require his cooperation and him admitting to paternity by signing an AOP or DOP. The last name legally means nothing.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
It is way too early for you to be worried about custody. If you and Dad have a good relationship and remain civil, what are you worried about? If you do not put his name on the birth cert, not sure what that is going to accomplish. If you file for child support paternity will have to be established anyways. By not putting him on the birth cert, it may complicate everything. Little things like this and the last name, have a big impact on how involved this man will be.

Also, you are entitled to child support and you still may get some. Can you and Dad work something out between the 2 of you?
If you honestly believe that the child not having dad's last name impacts how a father feels about a child, then you must know only very shallow men.

I very much doubt that the devoted fathers we know here on these forums would love their children any less if their children didn't carry their last name.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
If you honestly believe that the child not having dad's last name impacts how a father feels about a child, then you must know only very shallow men.

I very much doubt that the devoted fathers we know here on these forums would love their children any less if their children didn't carry their last name.
I think there's truth in what you've BOTH said. Some men WILL effectively punish the child if kiddo doesn't have Daddy's last name - though the good Dads of course wouldn't do this.
 

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