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Unwed mother wants to leave state

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MommyK

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida


I want to leave the state with my 2.5 year old daughter. Her father and I were never married. His name is on her birth certificate. There is no court order for visitation or custody. Do I need his permission to take my child out of state?
 


ecmst12

Senior Member
No, but dad will have the ability to rush off to court and file for you to be ordered to return the child to the state of residence pending a custody determination hearing. So it would be much better for you to file for custody and permission from the court to relocate the child BEFORE you go and move.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Okay, thank you both. The situation is quite complicated.
In that case, you might get better advice if you fill us in on the details. You absolutely are free to come and go as you please, but if your situation is complicated, there may be other advice that we would give.
 

MommyK

Junior Member
Okay, the daddy was not a great father for the first 2 years of her life (drinking, partying etc.) so I left. I met someone else (A woman) and we have been together for 6 months. At first, we tried sharing time equally with him. But after quite a few times of finding out he 1. Didn't bother to change his work schedule to spend time with her, which he did have the option of doing; and 2. Left her with his family to go hang out with friends or a girl we decided to change the schedule. Also, he lives in a 2 bedroom place with 4 other people (3 are males ages 11, 17 and 40) and kept getting the water/electric shut off. I decided it was in my daughter's best interest not to stay the night there. He gets her twice a week for 10 hours both days. He does not discipline her, lets her do what she wants. So when she comes back, she has a major attitude. Another reason we decided to limit the time they spend together. I would like to leave the state temporarily for a visit to my girlfriends family, and so we can get our marriage license. I talked to him about it and he said he doesn't want her leaving the state, and that I need to leave her with him.
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
NOTHING you posted will be considered a valid reason to reduce or refuse dad's visitation once it gets to court.
 

DownTime

Member
You seem to have a history of unilatterally changing dad's visitation. While there is no court order for time sharing in place, the father is still involved now in the child's life. Removing that further, after changing his schedule already by yourself, doesn't look so good for you.

That said, how long are you planning on being gone? Are you willing to make up this visitation time to dad that he would now miss?

As the primary parent, how are you going to ensure dad gets taken care of as well in this situation?
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Okay, the daddy was not a great father for the first 2 years of her life (drinking, partying etc.) so I left. I met someone else (A woman) and we have been together for 6 months. At first, we tried sharing time equally with him. But after quite a few times of finding out he 1. Didn't bother to change his work schedule to spend time with her, which he did have the option of doing; and 2. Left her with his family to go hang out with friends or a girl we decided to change the schedule. Also, he lives in a 2 bedroom place with 4 other people (3 are males ages 11, 17 and 40) and kept getting the water/electric shut off. I decided it was in my daughter's best interest not to stay the night there. He gets her twice a week for 10 hours both days. He does not discipline her, lets her do what she wants. So when she comes back, she has a major attitude. Another reason we decided to limit the time they spend together. I would like to leave the state temporarily for a visit to my girlfriends family, and so we can get our marriage license. I talked to him about it and he said he doesn't want her leaving the state, and that I need to leave her with him.
I don't see anything that's the least bit complicated. Simple plain vanilla case.

Dad has no rights until he gets a court order covering custody and/or visitation.

You can travel anywhere you want in the U.S. without even having to inform Dad, much less surrender the child to him when you travel.

If/when Dad files for visitation, he's going to get overnight visitation either as the two of you can agree to or whatever the court orders. None of the circumstances you cited will prevent him from getting his visitation.

And, you need to adjust your attitude. He is the child's father and I sense some strong alienation going on between your unwillingness to let him have overnights because you don't like his living situation as well as your attempts to blame him for a 2.5 year old kid "having an attitude".
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
Okay, the daddy was not a great father for the first 2 years of her life (drinking, partying etc.) so I left. I met someone else (A woman) and we have been together for 6 months. At first, we tried sharing time equally with him. But after quite a few times of finding out he 1. Didn't bother to change his work schedule to spend time with her, which he did have the option of doing; and 2. Left her with his family to go hang out with friends or a girl we decided to change the schedule. Also, he lives in a 2 bedroom place with 4 other people (3 are males ages 11, 17 and 40) and kept getting the water/electric shut off. I decided it was in my daughter's best interest not to stay the night there. He gets her twice a week for 10 hours both days. He does not discipline her, lets her do what she wants. So when she comes back, she has a major attitude. Another reason we decided to limit the time they spend together. I would like to leave the state temporarily for a visit to my girlfriends family, and so we can get our marriage license. I talked to him about it and he said he doesn't want her leaving the state, and that I need to leave her with him.
You do realize that Florida is not bound to recognize a same-sex marriage performed in another state. :cool:
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
You do realize that Florida is not bound to recognize a same-sex marriage performed in another state. :cool:
I missed that part. It creates a bigger problem.

Regardless of whether FL will recognize the marriage or not, OP needs to check the rules on marriage. In most states, there is a residency period where you must live in the state for some amount of time before getting married. In order to get married in a state, you have to claim to be a resident of the state in order to get married there. But if OP is going to be in another state long enough to be recognized as a resident, then she can't really argue that it's just a short term visit so Dad might well be able to get an order for the child to be returned to the home state.

Even Nevada (which I don't think has a residency requirement) requires you to get the license a month before the wedding. But Nevada doesn't allow same sex marriages, so that's out. OP can start to research marriage laws here:
Marriage License > Marriage Requirements > Getting Married
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Where are you getting your information?

I think all those Vegas weddings are perfectly valid ;)
Here's where I got the information.
Nevada Marriage License Laws > NV Wedding Officiants
You'll typically need to apply for your marriage license at least one month before your wedding ceremony.
(this on the Nevada information page).

However, on checking the state statutes, it doesn't appear to be true:
NRS: CHAPTER 122 - MARRIAGE
This only says that the license must be obtained from the county clerk, but does not give a time limit. Perhaps the one month above is a recommendation?

Thanks for the correction. In any event, it won't help OP since NV doesn't allow for same sex marriages.
 

SESmama

Member
Although the OP did not mention it I believe you can get married in Canada without being a resident. My boss did this exact thing last October. Not sure if GA recognizes it but what does that have to do with custody that is not yet in a court order?
 

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