unwed parents. custody rights?

[Jules919330]

What is the name of your state? new york. Hi everyone. I have a question that I need an answer to. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 years and we have 2 wonderful kids together. I have been thinking of leaving him because we are not getting along and everytime that we argue about stuff and I tell him that if things don't get better I am going to leave and he always tells me not with his kids. So I basically need to know what the laws are about this. When I do leave I am not going to go far, and I am not going to tell him he can't see his kids. But I want to take my kids with me, do I have the right to do this? I know this sounds awful but I can't stay with him anymore and I know that if he were to do this to me I would be crushed but I can't stay here. I am very frustrated and confussed right now and the only reason that I haven't left him is because I am scared that he will take the kids from me. My whole life revolves around my kids. If anyone can help I would be grateful. Thank you. Julie

 

[Rldunc]

If you can keep it together, do that. Get counseling as a couple. If he is abusing you, take the kids and leave or get a restraining order. Is his name on the birth certificate? Does NY recognize common-law marriage, cause that's what you have. They're your kids, but he has rights to them also. If you have problems that he can prove, like drinking, drugs, or mental problems; he could get them. Think about what's best for the kids.
Ask at the courthouse for what you need to do to get temporary custody. Then he can't take them unless you say so.
Good luck!

 

[Jules919330]

Yes his name is on the birth certificate, because it is 100% positive that he is the father. Both kids have his last name also. I am not sure if NY recognizes common-law marriages. There is no way that he could prove that I do any type of substance abuse, because I don't drink, smoke or do any type of drugs, half of the time you are lucky if I will take a asprin for a headache. I also don't have any type of mental problems. The only thing I feel that he could get on me is the fact that I don't work because I have no way to get to work so I stay home and take care of the kids because we don't have a second car. Thanks for your advice and to anyone else that can help. Hope this gives anyone more information that they might need to help me. Julie

 

[Rldunc]

If you move out, you'll need to work to support yourself. You can get child support, but it takes time. Can you move back with mom and dad? Sounds like you will get the kids, but the whole process is very hard on everybody, you, him and the kids. Try to work it out if you can. Just my 2 cents..

 

[haiku]

check custody laws fo runwed parents in your state. In some states (mine for one) until custody is established by the court ,either parent has the right to keep the child, to establish legal custody in court.