upcoming custody case

[Maineiac]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maine

I have a court date in a couple of weeks. I am a single mother of a 7 month old daughter. She was conceived in one state, born in the state we currently live in. We took a paternity test (court ordered), and who I thought was the father, was indeed her father. He lives 16 hours away and we haven't spoken since May 2013 (well before she was born). Even after finding out he was the father he hasn't reached out to me to see or ask about her. I started this process because in order to maintain my childcare subsidy, I have to show that I am seeking child support or it is court ordered that there is none. I am going in asking the court (to maintain) sole physical and legal custody. It's not about the money. The child support would be nice, but I just want it documented that I have custody. I welcome a visitation agreement. She should know her father. Our current state doesn't require a parenting plan, but I drew one up for when she is school aged and able to cross state lines to visit (until then he can see her as he wishes as long as he comes to us - per the magistrate last time we appeared). I'm trying to prepare myself as best I can. But without knowing what his intentions are - if any, I don't know what more I can do. She is up to date on immunizations and is currently attending one of the best daycares in the state while i work 40 hours/week. What more can I do to ensure I get said sole legal and physical custody? Or have I done all that I can?

 

[Zigner]

Do you have an attorney?
Has the father filed an answer to the court case?

 

[Maineiac]

Do you have an attorney?
Has the father filed an answer to the court case?

I do not have an attorney. As far as I am aware, he doesn't either. All he said is that he wanted my daughter to know who her father was if he was in fact the father (which we now know that he is).

 

[Zigner]

I do not have an attorney. As far as I am aware, he doesn't either. All he said is that he wanted my daughter to know who her father was if he was in fact the father (which we now know that he is).

What about my other question?

 

[Maineiac]

What about my other question?

All he said in his written response to the court (which I was mailed a copy of) was that he admitted having relations with me and that he wanted her to know who her father is. Which I have no problem with. He never mentioned wanting custody himself. I guess I'm not too sure what his answer was. He was served with papers, as I had the certified delivery form when I filed them. I should add that we were never married.

 

[Zigner]

All he said in his written response to the court (which I was mailed a copy of) was that he admitted having relations with me and that he wanted her to know who her father is. Which I have no problem with. He never mentioned wanting custody himself. I guess I'm not too sure what his answer was. He was served with papers, as I had the certified delivery form when I filed them. I should add that we were never married.

Please expand on this. Did YOU mail him the documents via certified mail, as seems to be implied above? How exactly was he served?

ETA: On further reflection, this may not matter since the father apparently filed an answer to the suit.

 

[Maineiac]

Please expand on this. Did YOU mail him the documents via certified mail, as seems to be implied above? How exactly was he served?

ETA: On further reflection, this may not matter since the father apparently filed an answer to the suit.

Yes. I mailed him the documents - via certified mail - and had the green delivery card (proof) when I filed. What information can I further prepare myself with?

 

[Zigner]

Yes. I mailed him the documents - via certified mail - and had the green delivery card (proof) when I filed. What information can I further prepare myself with?

That may be a problem. You are not allowed to serve the other party. You may get lucky and have it not matter in the long run, but it could be a problem.

It's possible that the father will get visitation with the child. Joint legal custody is almost a given if the father seeks it.

 

[single317dad]

That may be a problem. You are not allowed to serve the other party. You may get lucky and have it not matter in the long run, but it could be a problem.

Service by mail is acceptable provided the sender receives the acknowledgement per Rule 4(c)(1)

It seems clear the father received the complaint, since he officially responded to it. Am I missing something here?

http://www.courts.maine.gov/rules_adminorders/rules/text/mr_civ_p_only_2013-12-3.pdf

(c) Service. Service of the summons and complaint may be made as
follows:
(1) By mailing a copy of the summons and of the complaint (by first
-
class mail, postage prepaid) to the person to be served, together with two copies of
a notice and acknowledgment form and a return envelope, postage prepaid,
addressed to the sender.
If no acknowledgment of service under this paragraph is
received by the sender within 20 days after the date of mailing, service of the
summons and complaint shall be made under paragraph (2) or (3) of this
subdivision.
(2) By a sheriff or a deputy wit
hin the sheriff
’
s county, or other person
authorized by law, or by some person specially appointed by the court for that
purpose. Special appointments to serve process shall be made freely when
substantial savings in travel fees will result.
(3) By an
y other method permitted or required by this rule or by
statute.
(d) Summons: Personal Service. The summons and complaint shall be
served together. Personal service within the state shall be made as follows:

3
(1)
Upon an individual other than a min
or or an incompetent person,
by delivering a copy of the summons and of the complaint to the individual
personally or by leaving copies thereof at the individual
’
s dwelling house or usual
place of abode with some person of suitable age and discretion then
residing
therein or by delivering a copy of the summons and of the complaint to an agent
authorized by appointment or by law to receive service of process, provided that if
the agent is one designated by statute to receive service, such further notice as t
he
statute requires shall be given. The court, on motion, upon a showing that service
as prescribed above cannot be made with due diligence, may order service to be
made pursuant to subdivision (g) of this rule.

 

[Just Blue]

Please don't delete this thread with all the wonderful advice.

 

[Zigner]

Service by mail is acceptable provided the sender receives the acknowledgement per Rule 4(c)(1)

It seems clear the father received the complaint, since he officially responded to it. Am I missing something here?

http://www.courts.maine.gov/rules_adminorders/rules/text/mr_civ_p_only_2013-12-3.pdf

Service by mail is acceptable.
Service by mail by one of the involved parties...not so much.

 

[Ohiogal]

Service by mail is acceptable.
Service by mail by one of the involved parties...not so much.

Actually not true because certified mail is considered as being served by the POSTAL OFFICE. As long as the court dockets the service, there is not a problem.

 

[Just Blue]

As a litigant in person, or person representing themselves, there is a lot to know and learn and often in a short period of time.

As I tell everyone, if you are going to represent yourself then you need to prepare, prepare and then prepare some more.

The courts can be complex, but there is a lot of common sense involved as well.

Good luck

McKenzie...You are advertising on your profile page. That is againstthe TOS of this site. Your profile also "suggests" that you are an attorney...Has Admin vetted you?

 

[BL]

McKenzie...You are advertising on your profile page. That is againstthe TOS of this site. Your profile also "suggests" that you are an attorney...Has Admin vetted you?

Without looking ,I suspected so.It's kinda sneaking in the back door ,Huh?

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[LdiJ]

Without looking ,I suspected so.It's kinda sneaking in the back door ,Huh?

The TOS doesn't actually warn attorneys that they need to be vetted, so how would a first time attorney posting have any idea?