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  1. #1
    acdeschanel is offline Junior Member
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    Unhappy Urgent! Child Custody and Domestic Abuse Case

    State: Mississippi



    I have tons of questions and a rather long story. Please bear with me!

    My sister is in the middle of a domestic abuse case and a child custody case.

    Her (now ex-) boyfriend and child's father has beat her up several times, including choking her, throwing her against the wall, and forcing himself on her. She has lived with him for a year or so, though they were never married, and the violent acts happen regularly. Their daughter (now ten months) has been living with them as well. A week ago, he beat her up once again, took the baby and their car. She's been living with my mom since then and although he's gone on trips and not seen the baby for weeks at a time, this is the first time my sister has not seen the baby for more than a few hours.

    The domestic abuse court case is from the time he beat her up a few months ago. She showed up at my house at 3am all bruised and bloody. We went to the police that morning and they documented it with pictures of her wounds and pictures of their house that he had done considerable damage to, and he was arrested.

    1) Will these photos be in the police report? Can we present a copy of the police report as evidence? Found this out through police office.

    2) How do we legally obtain her possessions and the baby's possessions (that we purchased) from their home? It is her ex-boyfriend's home that his parents purchased for them. Everything she owns is in that house. We have no proof that we purchased the baby's items, but my sister, mother, and I have spent thousands, whereas he just buys diapers and the occasional onesie.

    The court date for the domestic abuse case was a few days ago, but it was postponed. When his grandmother saw my sister in court, she served her the custody case papers.

    My sister is terrified he is going to get custody, even though she is the primary caregiver and has nothing on her record. He does make more money than she does and his parents have money, whereas she is living at home with my mother.

    3) Will her being enrolled in WIC affect the custody decision?

    4) Will her attending a rehab/methadone clinic affect the custody decision? He doesn't know that she is and she's attending in a different state.

    5) Is there any way we could gain access to his police record? He has several DUIs, fights, and domestic abuse of his other child's mother on his record, but how do we bring that up in court?

    6) If we have witnesses to the abuse or how he treated the child, should we sign affidavits? Are these admissable?

    7) What can we do to prove she is the primary caregiver? What documents should we gather for the custody case?

    Thank you so much for your time and any help you can give. I'm sorry if the details distract but I wanted everything to be clear.
    Last edited by acdeschanel; 05-06-2010 at 12:16 PM. Reason: clarification
  2. #2
    PQN
    PQN is offline Member
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    Where is the baby right now?

    Is he the legal father?
  3. #3
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by acdeschanel View Post
    State: Mississippi

    I have tons of questions and a rather long story. Please bear with me!

    My sister is in the middle of a domestic abuse case and a child custody case.

    Her (now ex-) boyfriend and child's father has beat her up several times, including choking her, throwing her against the wall, and forcing himself on her. She has lived with him for a year or so, though they were never married, and the violent acts happen regularly. Their daughter (now ten months) has been living with them as well. A week ago, he beat her up once again, took the baby and their car. She's been living with my mom since then and although he's gone on trips and not seen the baby for weeks at a time, this is the first time my sister has not seen the baby for more than a few hours.

    The domestic abuse court case is from the time he beat her up a few months ago. She showed up at my house at 3am all bruised and bloody. We went to the police that morning and they documented it with pictures of her wounds and pictures of their house that he had done considerable damage to, and he was arrested.

    1) Will these photos be in the police report? Can we present a copy of the police report as evidence?

    2) How do we legally obtain her possessions and the baby's possessions (that we purchased) from their home? It is her ex-boyfriend's home that his parents purchased for them. Everything she owns is in that house. We have no proof that we purchased the baby's items, but my sister, mother, and I have spent thousands, whereas he just buys diapers and the occasional onesie.

    The court date for the domestic abuse case was a few days ago, but it was postponed. When his grandmother saw my sister in court, she served her the custody case papers.

    My sister is terrified he is going to get custody, even though she is the primary caregiver and has nothing on her record. He does make more money than she does and his parents have money, whereas she is living at home with my mother.

    3) Will her being enrolled in WIC affect the custody decision?

    4) Will her attending a rehab/methadone clinic affect the custody decision? He doesn't know that she is and she's attending in a different state.

    5) Is there any way we could gain access to his police record? He has several DUIs, fights, and domestic abuse of his other child's mother on his record, but how do we bring that up in court?

    6) If we have witnesses to the abuse or how he treated the child, should we sign affidavits? Are these admissable?

    7) What can we do to prove she is the primary caregiver? What documents should we gather for the custody case?

    Thank you so much for your time and any help you can give. I'm sorry if the details distract but I wanted everything to be clear.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
    Just to clarify an important detail: Rehab for heroin? Was the baby born with any drugs in her system?

    And to clarify an important detail for you: there's nothing, legally, that YOU can do. You can help her, you can support her, you can help pay for an attorney. But the only one who can file anything, legally, is your sister. Just FYI.
  4. #4
    acdeschanel is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by PQN View Post
    Where is the baby right now?

    Is he the legal father?
    He has had the baby for the past week, and since he filed for sole custody, he has a restraining order against my sister, so we know she's not going to be able to see her daughter at least until the court date at the end of May.

    Yes, he is the legal father. His name is on the birth certificate.
  5. #5
    acdeschanel is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silverplum View Post
    Just to clarify an important detail: Rehab for heroin? Was the baby born with any drugs in her system?

    And to clarify an important detail for you: there's nothing, legally, that YOU can do. You can help her, you can support her, you can help pay for an attorney. But the only one who can file anything, legally, is your sister. Just FYI.
    She was on prescription pills for a while (without a prescription) and within the past month, she started snorting heroin. Our dad was put on life support at the hospital right before that, so that may have been a contributing factor, but I don't use any drugs, so I can't really understand. She hasn't used anything since the ex-boyfriend threw her out of the house, and started going to rehab four days ago.

    No, no, the baby was born perfectly healthy and my sister doesn't breastfeed so no drugs have ever been in the baby's system.

    I know that, thanks. I say "we" because I'm used to it, being her twin sister, and my mom and I are helping her with everything.
  6. #6
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by acdeschanel View Post
    She was on prescription pills for a while (without a prescription) and within the past month, she started snorting heroin. Our dad was put on life support at the hospital right before that, so that may have been a contributing factor, but I don't use any drugs, so I can't really understand. She hasn't used anything since the ex-boyfriend threw her out of the house, and started going to rehab four days ago.

    No, no, the baby was born perfectly healthy and my sister doesn't breastfeed so no drugs have ever been in the baby's system.

    I know that, thanks. I say "we" because I'm used to it, being her twin sister, and my mom and I are helping her with everything.
    Her drug addiction is a HUGE deal. SHE needs an attorney to help her.
  7. #7
    TinkerBelleLuvr is offline Senior Member
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    [url=http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/states/miss/mississippi.htm]Mississippi Divorce Forms and Mississippi Divorce Laws Online[/url]

    It could be seen that BOTH parties are not fit for custody depending on the circumstances. Has the domestic abuse been DOCUMENTED?
  8. #8
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Meanie View Post
    Her drug addiction is a HUGE deal. SHE needs an attorney to help her.
    Vigorously agreed.
  9. #9
    acdeschanel is offline Junior Member
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    She only did heroin for a couple of weeks, and has been completely off of it for a week, and he knew nothing about it. Again, the rehab is in a different state. Could his lawyer somehow find out about it?

    She is a perfectly fit mother. I was asking what documents could be gathered to prove this.

    She did get a pro bono lawyer today (just called and told me). We also found out that she can get a copy of the police report but they'll have to subpoena the pictures.

    Yes, like I said in my OP, the domestic abuse has been documented with the last police report and two previous police reports. The only reason my sister stayed with this psycho is because she wanted her daughter to have a relationship with her father and she had nowhere else to go anyway. He's perfectly normal until he starts drinking, which is rather sad.
  10. #10
    sometwo is offline Senior Member
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    she is a perfectly fit mother. I was asking what documents could be gathered to prove this.
    Not by your posts

    she had nowhere else to go anyway

    I though you and mother help sister with everything?
  11. #11
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by acdeschanel View Post
    She only did heroin for a couple of weeks, and has been completely off of it for a week, and he knew nothing about it. Again, the rehab is in a different state. Could his lawyer somehow find out about it?
    I would imagine so.

    Quote Originally Posted by acdeschanel
    She is a perfectly fit mother. I was asking what documents could be gathered to prove this.
    I can't even answer this question because the basis is so very wrong.

    Quote Originally Posted by acdeschanel
    She did get a pro bono lawyer today (just called and told me).
    Then she needs to be talking to that lawyer.

    Quote Originally Posted by acdeschanel
    We also found out that she can get a copy of the police report but they'll have to subpoena the pictures.

    Yes, like I said in my OP, the domestic abuse has been documented with the last police report and two previous police reports. The only reason my sister stayed with this psycho is because she wanted her daughter to have a relationship with her father and she had nowhere else to go anyway. He's perfectly normal until he starts drinking, which is rather sad.
    Tell her to talk with her attorney.
  12. #12
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    She only did heroin for a couple of weeks
    prescription pills for a while (without a prescription) and within the past month, she started snorting heroin.
    She is a perfectly fit mother.
    Their daughter (now ten months) has been living with them as well
    I know you love your sister...But how can you say that a woman who is on ILLEGAL drugs to the point that she needs to take Methadone is a "fit parent"? Per, my impression of your post, she was the primary care giver to a baby...Did she take the child with her while "scoring" ILLEGAL drugs?? You need to take a "step back" and see this situation for what it is. BAD. REALLY BAD.
  13. #13
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Meanie View Post
    I know you love your sister...But how can you say that a woman who is on ILLEGAL drugs to the point that she needs to take Methadone is a "fit parent"? Per, my impression of your post, she was the primary care giver to a baby...Did she take the child with her while "scoring" ILLEGAL drugs?? You need to take a "step back" and see this situation for what it is. BAD. REALLY BAD.
    I absolutely agree. The pain medication is one thing (bad enough but one thing) but once she said that heroin was added into the mix, then it just became purely BAD.
  14. #14
    MichaCA is offline Senior Member
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    Also, not knowing much about herion but having experience this year with methadone, and meeting others taking methadone and getting addicted...I am skeptical of the mom needing methadone rehabilitation for taking herion for TWO WEEKS. I'm not buying it.
  15. #15
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MichaCA View Post
    Also, not knowing much about herion but having experience this year with methadone, and meeting others taking methadone and getting addicted...I am skeptical of the mom needing methadone rehabilitation for taking herion for TWO WEEKS. I'm not buying it.
    All the drugs that OP has said her sister was on are opiates (sp?). Methadone is one of the prescribed "cures".

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