sideblinded
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina. Buncombe County
I am Dad. The mom and I have been separated 4 1/2 years, divorced three years. Joint custody, equal time between households.
Our actual divorce paperwork states "from Sunday 6pm to Sunday 6pm". We have never followed this time. We have for the past four years exchanged on Thursday at 3 per our verbal agreement. (I have an extensive amount of emails to back this up)
I am just back from the regularly scheduled exchange, without my son. The mom sent me an email at 2:39 saying that she is keeping him and that 'we' are reverting to our written agreement. (which is Sunday to Sunday)
This is not that big of a deal out of context.
A little context.
The mom and I have for the most part been able to have a pretty decent relationship all in all. A month and a half ago, we had an all day conversation for the first time ever. It was light and trivial, but nice and encouraging as far as being able to speak to one another as people. The next day, I invited her over for dinner with this family. (as I've done many times) But this time she accepted, she came over, she brought a pie. The next day I went out of town for a few weeks. (first time ever)
Shortly before my return, I learn that the mom came and got the boy from the 'stepmom' and family, only to take him to her house and leave him alone while she went to work for 4 hours at a time. He is 8, and not a super mature 8 year old.
When I got back from my trip, I mentioned to her that this frustrated me. She didn't even respond.
The next evening, I get a call from DSS. They came out, interviewed this family, (myself, stepmom, and two stepsisters) the agent ended the interview with a phone call to his superiors recommending dismissal. There was one more follow up visit that lasted 10 minutes and was ended with everything was in order.
Mom is calling DSS, making fake claims about things, out of the blue and having lied to DSS about leaving the boy home alone.
Just after this DSS scare was the first time that she threatened to just keep the boy because it was inconvenient for her to make the scheduled exchange time. At that point she mentioned that the schedule on the books was Sunday to Sunday and that she could just keep him until Sunday. I did end up getting him that night, but very late, around 10pm. After that I told her that I would like to file a statement with the courts outlining our current agreement so it was on the books. She refused to even discuss it. She did not say no, or yes, just that she could not handle talking about it.
This past week the boy has been at mom's. I received an email last night from mom explaining that since the weekend, the boy has had pneumonia, the doctor said chest x ray and antibiotics, the mom refused the antibiotics and went to another alternative practitioner and got teas for him. All of this happened without my knowledge. In her email (which she is CC'ing to DSS) she said that she was taking him to the doctor today at 12:15. I informed her that I would be there and I was. After the appointment I asked her if I could go ahead and head to my home with the boy.(a little earlier than 3) She said mmmm, why don't you come over and we'll talk. I explained that there was no way that I was going to speak with her with the boy present, and/or without a witness and a goal. She then got the boy into her car and said that she was calling the police.
Our agreed upon exchange time came and she sent me an email saying that she is reverting to our written agreement, which we have never followed.
So, i think that my first step is to petition the court to handle our case in Buncombe county North Carolina instead of Tennessee where we were divorced.
What should my next move be? I desire to have our agreed upon exchange date and time to be enforceable. She changes it at her whim and convenience.
I checked online and it seems that NC has no law on the books about how young is too young for a child to be left home alone.
What about not informing the other parent of health issues and decisions? Any recourse there? I would not do this to her, if the boy was sick while with me and there was a doctor recommendation I would allow her to be in on the decision. It seems like that should be the law. What about her just deciding to now go with the files agreement while that has never been followed? What do I do?
Thanks
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina. Buncombe County
I am Dad. The mom and I have been separated 4 1/2 years, divorced three years. Joint custody, equal time between households.
Our actual divorce paperwork states "from Sunday 6pm to Sunday 6pm". We have never followed this time. We have for the past four years exchanged on Thursday at 3 per our verbal agreement. (I have an extensive amount of emails to back this up)
I am just back from the regularly scheduled exchange, without my son. The mom sent me an email at 2:39 saying that she is keeping him and that 'we' are reverting to our written agreement. (which is Sunday to Sunday)
This is not that big of a deal out of context.
A little context.
The mom and I have for the most part been able to have a pretty decent relationship all in all. A month and a half ago, we had an all day conversation for the first time ever. It was light and trivial, but nice and encouraging as far as being able to speak to one another as people. The next day, I invited her over for dinner with this family. (as I've done many times) But this time she accepted, she came over, she brought a pie. The next day I went out of town for a few weeks. (first time ever)
Shortly before my return, I learn that the mom came and got the boy from the 'stepmom' and family, only to take him to her house and leave him alone while she went to work for 4 hours at a time. He is 8, and not a super mature 8 year old.
When I got back from my trip, I mentioned to her that this frustrated me. She didn't even respond.
The next evening, I get a call from DSS. They came out, interviewed this family, (myself, stepmom, and two stepsisters) the agent ended the interview with a phone call to his superiors recommending dismissal. There was one more follow up visit that lasted 10 minutes and was ended with everything was in order.
Mom is calling DSS, making fake claims about things, out of the blue and having lied to DSS about leaving the boy home alone.
Just after this DSS scare was the first time that she threatened to just keep the boy because it was inconvenient for her to make the scheduled exchange time. At that point she mentioned that the schedule on the books was Sunday to Sunday and that she could just keep him until Sunday. I did end up getting him that night, but very late, around 10pm. After that I told her that I would like to file a statement with the courts outlining our current agreement so it was on the books. She refused to even discuss it. She did not say no, or yes, just that she could not handle talking about it.
This past week the boy has been at mom's. I received an email last night from mom explaining that since the weekend, the boy has had pneumonia, the doctor said chest x ray and antibiotics, the mom refused the antibiotics and went to another alternative practitioner and got teas for him. All of this happened without my knowledge. In her email (which she is CC'ing to DSS) she said that she was taking him to the doctor today at 12:15. I informed her that I would be there and I was. After the appointment I asked her if I could go ahead and head to my home with the boy.(a little earlier than 3) She said mmmm, why don't you come over and we'll talk. I explained that there was no way that I was going to speak with her with the boy present, and/or without a witness and a goal. She then got the boy into her car and said that she was calling the police.
Our agreed upon exchange time came and she sent me an email saying that she is reverting to our written agreement, which we have never followed.
So, i think that my first step is to petition the court to handle our case in Buncombe county North Carolina instead of Tennessee where we were divorced.
What should my next move be? I desire to have our agreed upon exchange date and time to be enforceable. She changes it at her whim and convenience.
I checked online and it seems that NC has no law on the books about how young is too young for a child to be left home alone.
What about not informing the other parent of health issues and decisions? Any recourse there? I would not do this to her, if the boy was sick while with me and there was a doctor recommendation I would allow her to be in on the decision. It seems like that should be the law. What about her just deciding to now go with the files agreement while that has never been followed? What do I do?
Thanks