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verbal change of custody 3 1/2 years ago, now he has taken them back

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Sharon

Guest
my ex-husband and i were married for 15 years, we have 2 boys currently age 13 and 9. when we divorced 4 years ago my ex begged me to allow him the chance to raise the boys (during our marriage he worked avg. 70 hrs a week) he felt he missed out on alot of their childhood. after much talking we agreed on joint custody with the physical custody to go to him with the verbal agreement that he would cut back on work and have the kids be his main concern. it has been 4 years and he has only had the boys for a total of 6 months (not all at one time) the boys have been living with me and my husband for 3 1/2 years, they have been going to school, sports, boy scouts ect.. now my ex- husband has re-married and he has taken the boys, since we only verbally agreed to switch the boys. he has all rights to the boys and the boys, my husband and i do not want them to change schools.. my ex feels he now misses them and wants them back. are there any case filed on this type of child custody?State of Indiana.:confused:
 


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missjasmine

Guest
Verbal agreements do not stand up in court. You need to have the court determine custody, visitation and child support. Alot of us have made verbal agreements when things are going well, but unfortunately things don't always stay that way.
 
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Sharon

Guest
I filed with the courts in June 2001 for an emergency hearing and after 3 court date delays on my ex's side we finally went to court two days before the boys were to start school. The judge ruled that the verbal agreement would not be considered and that I needed to file for change of custody at another hearing. In the meantime he ruled that the boys stay with their Dad since that is what the last ruling was. I have filed for a new court date. The boys are at a new school and want to come back home. Will the court listen to the boys on what they want?
 
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dorenephilpot

Guest
Fourteen is the age at which a child's wishes about where he wants to live will be taken into account by the court. The child doesn't get to decide. The court does. But his wishes will be given weight.

To wrest custody from your ex once there's an order in place, you have to prove he's unfit.

If you believe that you cannot do that, you're most likely wasting your money fighting for custody.
 

LegalBeagle

Senior Member
Now, had you filed for custody whilst the children were in your care and attending the local school, then you would have had a better chance to 'win' custody...
 
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dorenephilpot

Guest
Yup. True.

Oh, LB, I LOVE it when you use the word "whilst."
 

LegalBeagle

Senior Member
dorenephilpot said:
Yup. True.

Oh, LB, I LOVE it when you use the word "whilst."
Just let me know when the honeymoon period is over so I can continue my plan to turn you over to the 'dark side' ...
 
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Sharon

Guest
What are the guidelines for an unfit parent?

During the past 4 years since our divorce my ex has had 3 live in Girlfriends (all with children) the last girlfriend he married. He has taken anti-depressants for a year, depressed for another year, continued to work alot, he has attended some of the boys school programs and sports activities but not alot. But, now that he has remarried he feels he now has again support and help from another person with the boys.

I guess if there was a role model wonder Mom it would be me, my oldest was in Basketball, AAU Basketball, Track, Cross Country, former Cub Scout for 5 years, plays the Tenor Sax, and he drives a Modified Midget that his Dad works with him on. All of the sports never overlapped so we usually had a month break between everything. My youngest is in Cub Scouts, Basketball, Baseball, football and loves Art and drawing. I was the Room Mom for both of the boys, roating years between them. Also Library helper, Parent Advisory Committee, Volunteered for all School functions, and have a good relationship with the Teachers and Staff of their School here. In addition to all of this I own a Business that seems to be growing quickly.

Now that the boys have been with their Dad it seems so quiet here.

I would like to know what qualifies a parent to be unfit?

Thanks, Sharon
 

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