Visitation Court tomorrow

[cincimom]

Can a mod please approve my reply? I'm not sire why, but i wrote out a very long reaponse and it said it needed mod approval

 

[Ohiogal]

Can a mod please approve my reply? I'm not sire why, but i wrote out a very long reaponse and it said it needed mod approval

Did you include links? If so that it is why it needed approval.

 

[cincimom]

So my posts were put on hold because I included links to the two parenting plans I used. Thanks for the help OHIOGAL! If you want to see them, you can google Hamilton County Domestic Court Parenting Plan and Hamilton County Juvenile Court parenting plan. The links have been removed.

Before people accuse me of being controlling, please know that I TRIED to do my research. Hamilton County has two parenting plans - one for domestic court and one for juvenile court. The case will be heard in juvenile court since we aren't married, but I incorporated some of the domestic court guidelines (which are actually the ones that are being called controlling). There were too many responses to directly quote everyone, but here is the general idea:

1. DAD be required to attend parenting classes due to his lack of familiarity with infants and toddlers. - While I was not required to take parenting classes, my mom has also had custody of my cousins for the last three years. I have changed more diapers and made more bottles than I can count. Dad has never been around an infant, and I want to make sure he can care for them.

2. DAD be required to take anger management classes due to his temper and the fact that it was his family who stated that it was not safe for DAUGHTER to be alone in his care. I do not have proof for this. I did file a police report against dad for a domestic incident when I was seventeen, but since I am a dumbass and had kids with him anyway, it doesn't matter to the courts, I'm sure. I did have his brother tell me directly that he was afraid for him to be around my daughter alone because of his temper and his drinking problem. This was in a text message that I still have. I realize I may not get this, but I think I can at least ask for it in mediation.

3. DAD to have DAUGHTER every other weekend from Friday at 6pm to Sunday at 6pm. SON will begin having overnights when he is one year old. He may have SON from 10:00-6:00 on his Saturdays until then. Taken from the domestic guidelines - which states "3 months to 3 years: Frequent short visits per agreement or, Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 5:30 pm until 8:30 pm One day every weekend, alternating Saturday/Sunday from 10:00 am until 6:00 pm * Beginning at 12 months, the Saturday parenting time Shall begin on Friday at 6:00 pm until Saturday at 6:00 pm. I realize this is not what I originally stated - I would be fine with dad having son every weekend as prescribed above. I would not object to the twice a week visits for the first year either, at which point I would be willing to do EOW full weekends.

4. One night every other week (non visitation weeks) from 5:30 to 8:30 - taken from Juvenile guidelines "The non-residential parent shall have parenting time on alternate weekends from Friday at (a.m./p.m.) until Sunday at (a.m./p.m.) The non-residential parent shall also have parenting time from
(a.m./p.m.) to (a.m./p.m.) on a weekday preceding the weekends during which there is no parenting time"

5. At NO point will SON or DAUGHTER be allowed to be inside a moving go kart without the MOM's permission (his family has a gokart racing team. They already have purchased a gokart for our daughter - it is terrifying). His family races every weekend. All of the adults are drunk, and put kids as young as four into a gokart. I wouldn't have a problem with kids driving when they are older, but i feel like it isn't unreasonable to put an age limit on it. One of the kids on another team was in a gokart that flipped and died - four years old. That won't be my children.

6. DAD does all driving for weekday visits. DAD will pick up for weekend visit and MOM will pick up. I don't know how it is fair that I have to drive 50% of the time when he moved 45 minutes away and he used to live just down the street. He moved and he doesn't work. I have a full time job, I go to school full time, and I have the kids.

7. No out of state vacations until both children are five. (this is due to the fact that he wants to take the children to New Mexico, where his mother lives with a heroin addict in what basically amounts to a trap house) This might be too much, but I would be willing to agree to the same if I could negotiate it. I don't mind them going to surrounding states, but that far at that age is a lot

8. DAD must keep the children overnight during his visits unless he asks MOM if she would like them back during this time. Another poster asked me if I meant a right of first refusal. I guess that is what I meant. I don't want him ditching the kids at his parents house so that he can go to the club on his weekends. That time is for him. I don't mind if they spend the night there occasionally, but I think he should have to have them most of the time.

9. No extended parenting time until the children are two years of age. Two consecutive weeks may not be taken until age 5. Again, this came from the domestic parenting plan B. When a child reaches the age of two, the non-residential parent shall be entitled to four weeks of additional time each year.
After the age of five, two weeks may be taken consecutively.

10. DAD must provide proof that he has appropriate car seats for each child as well as an appropriate sleeping place for overnight visits. Appropriate meaning I think the baby should have to have a crib. I don't care if they are in sleeping bags on the floor when they get older, but I don't want the newborn rolling off the couch or getting stepped on by his drunk uncle.

Despite what you guys think, I really am trying here. He hasn't done anything for the kids since I filed for child support - not one thing. Didn't ask about the new baby, didn't offer to help with any of the associated expenses, nothing. I did the best I could trying to put together an age appropriate plan that followed the guidelines. Maybe I shouldn't have mixed and matched from the two court systems, but since one addressed age and one didn't, I tried to work between the two.

 

[Silverplum]

Controlling forever. Have tea with my Mom: she could give you more pointers.

 

[Ohiogal]

So my posts were put on hold because I included links to the two parenting plans I used. Thanks for the help OHIOGAL! If you want to see them, you can google Hamilton County Domestic Court Parenting Plan and Hamilton County Juvenile Court parenting plan. The links have been removed.

I posted the link to the Hamilton County Juvenile Court parenting plan.

Before people accuse me of being controlling, please know that I TRIED to do my research. Hamilton County has two parenting plans - one for domestic court and one for juvenile court. The case will be heard in juvenile court since we aren't married, but I incorporated some of the domestic court guidelines (which are actually the ones that are being called controlling). There were too many responses to directly quote everyone, but here is the general idea:

1. DAD be required to attend parenting classes due to his lack of familiarity with infants and toddlers. - While I was not required to take parenting classes, my mom has also had custody of my cousins for the last three years. I have changed more diapers and made more bottles than I can count. Dad has never been around an infant, and I want to make sure he can care for them.

Which means nothing when it comes to parenting. Dad is presumed to be a fit parent just like you are. Prove that he NEEDS parenting classes with admissible evidence.

2. DAD be required to take anger management classes due to his temper and the fact that it was his family who stated that it was not safe for DAUGHTER to be alone in his care. I do not have proof for this. I did file a police report against dad for a domestic incident when I was seventeen, but since I am a dumbass and had kids with him anyway, it doesn't matter to the courts, I'm sure. I did have his brother tell me directly that he was afraid for him to be around my daughter alone because of his temper and his drinking problem. This was in a text message that I still have. I realize I may not get this, but I think I can at least ask for it in mediation.

You can ask. Expect dad to say NO.

3. DAD to have DAUGHTER every other weekend from Friday at 6pm to Sunday at 6pm. SON will begin having overnights when he is one year old. He may have SON from 10:00-6:00 on his Saturdays until then. Taken from the domestic guidelines - which states "3 months to 3 years: Frequent short visits per agreement or, Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 5:30 pm until 8:30 pm One day every weekend, alternating Saturday/Sunday from 10:00 am until 6:00 pm * Beginning at 12 months, the Saturday parenting time Shall begin on Friday at 6:00 pm until Saturday at 6:00 pm. I realize this is not what I originally stated - I would be fine with dad having son every weekend as prescribed above. I would not object to the twice a week visits for the first year either, at which point I would be willing to do EOW full weekends.

Except you have two children and not just one. And you only want him to have the child one day a week and not three days a week. Plus you are in juvenile court and NOT domestic relations court.

4. One night every other week (non visitation weeks) from 5:30 to 8:30 - taken from Juvenile guidelines "The non-residential parent shall have parenting time on alternate weekends from Friday at (a.m./p.m.) until Sunday at (a.m./p.m.) The non-residential parent shall also have parenting time from
(a.m./p.m.) to (a.m./p.m.) on a weekday preceding the weekends during which there is no parenting time"

You can't mix and match them. You are in juvenile court. There are not times listed in the juvenile guidelines.

5. At NO point will SON or DAUGHTER be allowed to be inside a moving go kart without the MOM's permission (his family has a gokart racing team. They already have purchased a gokart for our daughter - it is terrifying). His family races every weekend. All of the adults are drunk, and put kids as young as four into a gokart. I wouldn't have a problem with kids driving when they are older, but i feel like it isn't unreasonable to put an age limit on it. One of the kids on another team was in a gokart that flipped and died - four years old. That won't be my children.

And? Dad has a right to do what he wants on his time. And really? ALL the adults are drunk? You can't state that unless you can prove it.

6. DAD does all driving for weekday visits. DAD will pick up for weekend visit and MOM will pick up. I don't know how it is fair that I have to drive 50% of the time when he moved 45 minutes away and he used to live just down the street. He moved and he doesn't work. I have a full time job, I go to school full time, and I have the kids.

Because you are both parents. Why shouldn't have to drive? Give dad the children. He has more time to parent them.

7. No out of state vacations until both children are five. (this is due to the fact that he wants to take the children to New Mexico, where his mother lives with a heroin addict in what basically amounts to a trap house) This might be too much, but I would be willing to agree to the same if I could negotiate it. I don't mind them going to surrounding states, but that far at that age is a lot

Oh really? Not going to happen. They can go to surrounding states? But at that age New Mexico is too far?

8. DAD must keep the children overnight during his visits unless he asks MOM if she would like them back during this time. Another poster asked me if I meant a right of first refusal. I guess that is what I meant. I don't want him ditching the kids at his parents house so that he can go to the club on his weekends. That time is for him. I don't mind if they spend the night there occasionally, but I think he should have to have them most of the time.

Seriously? he can't have them have sleep overs at grandma's or cousin's houses on his side of the family? Or friends homes near him when they are older?

9. No extended parenting time until the children are two years of age. Two consecutive weeks may not be taken until age 5. Again, this came from the domestic parenting plan B. When a child reaches the age of two, the non-residential parent shall be entitled to four weeks of additional time each year.
After the age of five, two weeks may be taken consecutively.

AGAIN, you are not in domestic relations court. You are in juvenile court.

10. DAD must provide proof that he has appropriate car seats for each child as well as an appropriate sleeping place for overnight visits. Appropriate meaning I think the baby should have to have a crib. I don't care if they are in sleeping bags on the floor when they get older, but I don't want the newborn rolling off the couch or getting stepped on by his drunk uncle.

The baby can sleep in a box. Literally. That is appropriate.

Despite what you guys think, I really am trying here. He hasn't done anything for the kids since I filed for child support - not one thing. Didn't ask about the new baby, didn't offer to help with any of the associated expenses, nothing. I did the best I could trying to put together an age appropriate plan that followed the guidelines. Maybe I shouldn't have mixed and matched from the two court systems, but since one addressed age and one didn't, I tried to work between the two.

You are out of your depth and if dad has an attorney, you are going to get slammed. Some of these things make you appear to be over-controlling. You may deny it but that is how you appear. It is all based upon what YOU want and what YOU think is right. And that is not the standard.

 

[LdiJ]

So my posts were put on hold because I included links to the two parenting plans I used. Thanks for the help OHIOGAL! If you want to see them, you can google Hamilton County Domestic Court Parenting Plan and Hamilton County Juvenile Court parenting plan. The links have been removed.

Before people accuse me of being controlling, please know that I TRIED to do my research. Hamilton County has two parenting plans - one for domestic court and one for juvenile court. The case will be heard in juvenile court since we aren't married, but I incorporated some of the domestic court guidelines (which are actually the ones that are being called controlling). There were too many responses to directly quote everyone, but here is the general idea:

1. DAD be required to attend parenting classes due to his lack of familiarity with infants and toddlers. - While I was not required to take parenting classes, my mom has also had custody of my cousins for the last three years. I have changed more diapers and made more bottles than I can count. Dad has never been around an infant, and I want to make sure he can care for them.

2. DAD be required to take anger management classes due to his temper and the fact that it was his family who stated that it was not safe for DAUGHTER to be alone in his care. I do not have proof for this. I did file a police report against dad for a domestic incident when I was seventeen, but since I am a dumbass and had kids with him anyway, it doesn't matter to the courts, I'm sure. I did have his brother tell me directly that he was afraid for him to be around my daughter alone because of his temper and his drinking problem. This was in a text message that I still have. I realize I may not get this, but I think I can at least ask for it in mediation.

3. DAD to have DAUGHTER every other weekend from Friday at 6pm to Sunday at 6pm. SON will begin having overnights when he is one year old. He may have SON from 10:00-6:00 on his Saturdays until then. Taken from the domestic guidelines - which states "3 months to 3 years: Frequent short visits per agreement or, Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 5:30 pm until 8:30 pm One day every weekend, alternating Saturday/Sunday from 10:00 am until 6:00 pm * Beginning at 12 months, the Saturday parenting time Shall begin on Friday at 6:00 pm until Saturday at 6:00 pm. I realize this is not what I originally stated - I would be fine with dad having son every weekend as prescribed above. I would not object to the twice a week visits for the first year either, at which point I would be willing to do EOW full weekends.

4. One night every other week (non visitation weeks) from 5:30 to 8:30 - taken from Juvenile guidelines "The non-residential parent shall have parenting time on alternate weekends from Friday at (a.m./p.m.) until Sunday at (a.m./p.m.) The non-residential parent shall also have parenting time from
(a.m./p.m.) to (a.m./p.m.) on a weekday preceding the weekends during which there is no parenting time"

5. At NO point will SON or DAUGHTER be allowed to be inside a moving go kart without the MOM's permission (his family has a gokart racing team. They already have purchased a gokart for our daughter - it is terrifying). His family races every weekend. All of the adults are drunk, and put kids as young as four into a gokart. I wouldn't have a problem with kids driving when they are older, but i feel like it isn't unreasonable to put an age limit on it. One of the kids on another team was in a gokart that flipped and died - four years old. That won't be my children.

6. DAD does all driving for weekday visits. DAD will pick up for weekend visit and MOM will pick up. I don't know how it is fair that I have to drive 50% of the time when he moved 45 minutes away and he used to live just down the street. He moved and he doesn't work. I have a full time job, I go to school full time, and I have the kids.

7. No out of state vacations until both children are five. (this is due to the fact that he wants to take the children to New Mexico, where his mother lives with a heroin addict in what basically amounts to a trap house) This might be too much, but I would be willing to agree to the same if I could negotiate it. I don't mind them going to surrounding states, but that far at that age is a lot

8. DAD must keep the children overnight during his visits unless he asks MOM if she would like them back during this time. Another poster asked me if I meant a right of first refusal. I guess that is what I meant. I don't want him ditching the kids at his parents house so that he can go to the club on his weekends. That time is for him. I don't mind if they spend the night there occasionally, but I think he should have to have them most of the time.

9. No extended parenting time until the children are two years of age. Two consecutive weeks may not be taken until age 5. Again, this came from the domestic parenting plan B. When a child reaches the age of two, the non-residential parent shall be entitled to four weeks of additional time each year.
After the age of five, two weeks may be taken consecutively.

10. DAD must provide proof that he has appropriate car seats for each child as well as an appropriate sleeping place for overnight visits. Appropriate meaning I think the baby should have to have a crib. I don't care if they are in sleeping bags on the floor when they get older, but I don't want the newborn rolling off the couch or getting stepped on by his drunk uncle.

Despite what you guys think, I really am trying here. He hasn't done anything for the kids since I filed for child support - not one thing. Didn't ask about the new baby, didn't offer to help with any of the associated expenses, nothing. I did the best I could trying to put together an age appropriate plan that followed the guidelines. Maybe I shouldn't have mixed and matched from the two court systems, but since one addressed age and one didn't, I tried to work between the two.

Actually, I think that the main problem was that in your attempt to be brief in your original post, you left out information that would have made a difference.
For example, we did not know that dad had moved 45 miles away. That would have made a big difference as we all pretty much state that the parent who created the distance needs to provide the transportation.

Another example is that you wanted infants in cribs. That is not unreasonable at all...although pack and plays work well as temporary cribs.

Extended parenting time...you only said two weeks after age 5. You did not say 4 weeks after age two but taken one week at a time. A week is also extended parenting time. You made it look like you did not want dad to have more than a weekend at a time until the children were 5. That is totally unreasonable. It is not unreasonable to limit dad's extended time to a week at a time until they are 5.

You also never mentioned that most of what you were taking was from your county's two guidelines.

We can only work with the information that we are given.

 

[Silverplum]

I'm looking forward to the post-court update.

 

[Silverplum]

Actually, I think that the main problem was that in your attempt to be brief in your original post, you left out information that would have made a difference.
For example, we did not know that dad had moved 45 miles away. That would have made a big difference as we all pretty much state that the parent who created the distance needs to provide the transportation.

Another example is that you wanted infants in cribs. That is not unreasonable at all...although pack and plays work well as temporary cribs.

Extended parenting time...you only said two weeks after age 5. You did not say 4 weeks after age two but taken one week at a time. A week is also extended parenting time. You made it look like you did not want dad to have more than a weekend at a time until the children were 5. That is totally unreasonable. It is not unreasonable to limit dad's extended time to a week at a time until they are 5.

You also never mentioned that most of what you were taking was from your county's two guidelines.

We can only work with the information that we are given.

Bull pucky. Total and utter bull. Back to taxes for you.

 

[LdiJ]

Bull pucky. Total and utter bull. Back to taxes for you.

My state guidelines call for 1 week at a time for children under 5 as well. Even in a 50/50 timeshare generally its never more than 7 days at a time, and often less than that. There is nothing inherently wrong or unfair with keeping extended visits to one week at a time. You might validly argue that her state guidelines calling for 4 one week extended visits between age 2-5 is unfair, you might say that the number should be higher than that (its six weeks in my state guidelines) but to call it total and utter bull for it to be limited to 7 days at a time is ridiculous.

 

[Proserpina]

It is not unreasonable to limit dad's extended time to a week at a time until they are 5.
.

WHAT?!?!!!

On whose planet is that reasonable?

Holy Hannah, L - that's pushing the envelope a bit, surely?

 

[Proserpina]

My state guidelines call for 1 week at a time for children under 5 as well. Even in a 50/50 timeshare generally its never more than 7 days at a time, and often less than that. There is nothing inherently wrong or unfair with keeping extended visits to one week at a time. You might validly argue that her state guidelines calling for 4 one week extended visits between age 2-5 is unfair, you might say that the number should be higher than that (its six weeks in my state guidelines) but to call it total and utter bull for it to be limited to 7 days at a time is ridiculous.

I'm quoting this not just for posterity, but to illustrate a point I'll hopefully come back to when I've done a wee bit of searching.

 

[LdiJ]

I'm quoting this not just for posterity, but to illustrate a point I'll hopefully come back to when I've done a wee bit of searching.

If you are going to look at the ITPG, look at the section where "when distance is a factor".

 

[Silverplum]

My state guidelines call for 1 week at a time for children under 5 as well. Even in a 50/50 timeshare generally its never more than 7 days at a time, and often less than that. There is nothing inherently wrong or unfair with keeping extended visits to one week at a time. You might validly argue that her state guidelines calling for 4 one week extended visits between age 2-5 is unfair, you might say that the number should be higher than that (its six weeks in my state guidelines) but to call it total and utter bull for it to be limited to 7 days at a time is ridiculous.

No, Ld, you're the one who is off the rails. Your Dad-hate is too much for you to overcome, and your ongoing determination to spout whatever you want and call it fact is irresponsible and juvenile.

TBI?

 

[Silverplum]

If you are going to look at the ITPG, look at the section where "when distance is a factor".

Why would anyone want to look at/reference your stupid itpg? The poster is in OHIO.

 

[Just Blue]

If you are going to look at the ITPG, look at the section where "when distance is a factor".

Ld, With all do respect...Let Og handle this one.