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Thread: Visitation/Custody and fathers rights for unwed parents NC

  1. #1
    ajade22 is offline Junior Member
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    Visitation/Custody and fathers rights for unwed parents NC

    Okay so a little bit of background information. A friend of mine had a child out of wedlock it was a one night stand, the mother refused to put him on the birth certificate because he chose not to stay with her after she got pregnant but would occasionally let the child come over when it was convenient for her or she needed a break. It was like pulling teeth to get to see the child and she wouldnt give up holidays or even fathers day. One time he came over with a huge red handprint on his back which was still there after an hour car ride and another he had a bruise under his eye that she claimed was from dropping his sippy cup on it while lying down. Also every time he comes over hes dirty(like stinky not had a bath) and during winter he was not wearing a coat, socks, or shoes. So after asking to be put on the birth certificate and being given excuse after excuse for a year he went to DSS and filed child support on himself to start paternity and be put on there. So child support was supposed to come out of his pay check twice a month $50 each time but come to find out it didnt come out the first two months like it was supposed to but she didnt tell him she never got it when he asked. After not receiving it the first month she filed a complaint for non child support payment and he had to go to court (which did nothing because he paid the balance before the court date). As soon as she knew about him filing for child support she quit her job. Shes almost 28, two kids three days shy of being a year apart (one which is his), no job, and living at home. Now that she has got her first month of support her mom emailed him with a bunch of bogus excuses why he cant come over like the abandonment crying and the jealousy from the other sibling when he comes back home...he has spent the night with him since he was a month old, hes now a year and a half and thats the first thats ever been said about the crying and stuff. Her mother also said that if he or his family want to see him they have to make the hour drive to see him at their house eventhough they cant afford to make that drive all the time and he has another child. Question being since the child was born out of wedlock, paternity was established, and they filled out an affidavit to put him on the birth certificate, and no custody/visitation order is in place if he goes to get the child to spend time with him and just decided not to bring him home when she says is that considered kidnapping or what? He has not seen the child in a month now and the mother will not return calls/texts/facebook messages/facebook wall posts or any form of contact that him and his family members have made.
  2. #2
    TheGeekess is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajade22 View Post
    Okay so a little bit of background information. A friend of mine had a child out of wedlock it was a one night stand, the mother refused to put him on the birth certificate because he chose not to stay with her after she got pregnant but would occasionally let the child come over when it was convenient for her or she needed a break. It was like pulling teeth to get to see the child and she wouldnt give up holidays or even fathers day. One time he came over with a huge red handprint on his back which was still there after an hour car ride and another he had a bruise under his eye that she claimed was from dropping his sippy cup on it while lying down. Also every time he comes over hes dirty(like stinky not had a bath) and during winter he was not wearing a coat, socks, or shoes. So after asking to be put on the birth certificate and being given excuse after excuse for a year he went to DSS and filed child support on himself to start paternity and be put on there. So child support was supposed to come out of his pay check twice a month $50 each time but come to find out it didnt come out the first two months like it was supposed to but she didnt tell him she never got it when he asked. After not receiving it the first month she filed a complaint for non child support payment and he had to go to court (which did nothing because he paid the balance before the court date). As soon as she knew about him filing for child support she quit her job. Shes almost 28, two kids three days shy of being a year apart (one which is his), no job, and living at home. Now that she has got her first month of support her mom emailed him with a bunch of bogus excuses why he cant come over like the abandonment crying and the jealousy from the other sibling when he comes back home...he has spent the night with him since he was a month old, hes now a year and a half and thats the first thats ever been said about the crying and stuff. Her mother also said that if he or his family want to see him they have to make the hour drive to see him at their house eventhough they cant afford to make that drive all the time and he has another child. Question being since the child was born out of wedlock, paternity was established, and they filled out an affidavit to put him on the birth certificate, and no custody/visitation order is in place if he goes to get the child to spend time with him and just decided not to bring him home when she says is that considered kidnapping or what? He has not seen the child in a month now and the mother will not return calls/texts/facebook messages/facebook wall posts or any form of contact that him and his family members have made.
    Not your problem. If Dad wants help, he's welcome to sign up for his own account.

    And to forestall any excuses you may care to bring up:

    [LIST][*] Libraries provide free internet access for their patrons.[*] This board is here 24/7, barring database errors.[*] Typing ability/speed/accuracy aren't being tested here. [/LIST]
  3. #3
    LanceBabe is offline Junior Member
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    If North Carolina and Virginia have close to the same laws, then yes, that would be considered kidnapping. Even though he got himself established as the legal father and is on the birth certificate, since they were never married, he has no custody or visitation rights unless he goes to court and asks for them.
  4. #4
    anearthw is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajade22 View Post
    if he goes to get the child to spend time with him and just decided not to bring him home when she says is that considered kidnapping or what? He has not seen the child in a month now ....
    I have no idea how old this child is, but from the comments about a sippy cup, I am assuming a toddler at best. Do you/dad/family/involved person have any idea how traumatic that would be to a child? To just go and remove them from their permanent circumstance because... wait for it.. dad has not established proper visitation and if by miracle he did, has not gone back to court to reinforce it? Does he know that visitation and child support are not the same issue?

    So yes, may very well qualify as parental kidnapping. You don't seem to state anything about him having visitation rights or any form of custody order. Are you forgetting that this child is a person with (simple and emotive) feelings? Shame on you for inquiring anything to help such a deed.

    Dad can go to court and enforce (or demand for and enforce) visitation. He isn't an angel here. And yes, if you (family) want to see this child, you can haul your butts to her house and do it!
    Last edited by anearthw; 07-28-2013 at 06:05 PM.
  5. #5
    TheGeekess is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LanceBabe View Post
    If North Carolina and Virginia have close to the same laws, then yes, that would be considered kidnapping. Even though he got himself established as the legal father and is on the birth certificate, since they were never married, he has no custody or visitation rights unless he goes to court and asks for them.
    Since you don't know the differences, please don't post.
  6. #6
    latigo is offline Senior Member
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    =ajade22;3192772] . . . .
    Rather than to assume that your second and third hand information is complete and accurate, it would be more effective were the father to post his concerns. And if he has any, pose his questions. Noticeably absent is any from you.

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