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What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NY
My ex-husband and I have been divorced 6 years, separated 8 yrs. We have shared custody, with approx 45-50% overnights with Dad, 50-55% overnights with me. We have one son, who is now 12 yrs old. Our agreement was very loose concerning visitation and we purposely did not put in detail concerning exact timeframes for visitation. Over the years, especially during the last four, my son has spent his school holiday days, after-school time (2:30 - 5 pm on Dad's days), sick days, unscheduled summer days, after day camp time in summer (3 or 4 - 5 pm on Dad's days) and overnights when Dad is on business or vacation during his scheduled time with our son- all with me. I have been doing the picking up and taking our son to his dad's on his dad's overnights. Taking on the running around and the precious after-school/break/sick time has helped in creating consistency and stability in our son's life, since my schedule never changes, has moved him out of the afterschool care, and has maximized time with his dad, because dad doesn't have to shuffle around half the time. Dad recently got remarried and wants his new wife (not himself) to spend more of this time that I traditionally spent with our son during these "undocumented" timeframes that just verbally existed all these years. My son and I did not want to change the schedule and my son preferred to spend the time with me rather than her. Dad claims our agreement infers a 24hr period for "his" evenings vs "my" evenings. The language specifically states overnights only, and does not address the day time nor what time overnights begin. Well, then, in Aug 2004, Dad got mad at me over a religious issue (my son had a bible in his house that I gave him, and, I asked permission for our son to keep it at Dad's house. He initially agreed, then five months later, thought our son was getting too Christian, and returned the bible. He was very angry and physically pushed me out of his house when I insisted that the three of us meet about this issue (at my son's request) and about his rights to worship God. I did not try to fight the bible issue- I just took it home. Since that date, he has not allowed me in or on his premises and, against my son's and my will, has forcefully changed the schedule so that my son has little or no contact with me at all on those times I mentioned above, that were based on verbal agreement. My son now spends that time with either his father's new wife, or at an after-school program on "dad's" days. They won't let him call me when he wants to, or read an email if I send one. We don't call or email much, but, my son always had that freedom before. Dad is hostile and generally abusive when we talk on the phone or email. I just want to get along, and this is fraying my nerves. It has devastated my son, and me. He begs his father to change back to the old schedule, but he refuses. I have retained an attorney, and we are working on this plus a child support issue. My question is, is there anything I can do in the meantime, to restore some or all of what we had so successfully in place until this event. My son is so unhappy, and so am I. Sorry for the long post. Thanks.
My ex-husband and I have been divorced 6 years, separated 8 yrs. We have shared custody, with approx 45-50% overnights with Dad, 50-55% overnights with me. We have one son, who is now 12 yrs old. Our agreement was very loose concerning visitation and we purposely did not put in detail concerning exact timeframes for visitation. Over the years, especially during the last four, my son has spent his school holiday days, after-school time (2:30 - 5 pm on Dad's days), sick days, unscheduled summer days, after day camp time in summer (3 or 4 - 5 pm on Dad's days) and overnights when Dad is on business or vacation during his scheduled time with our son- all with me. I have been doing the picking up and taking our son to his dad's on his dad's overnights. Taking on the running around and the precious after-school/break/sick time has helped in creating consistency and stability in our son's life, since my schedule never changes, has moved him out of the afterschool care, and has maximized time with his dad, because dad doesn't have to shuffle around half the time. Dad recently got remarried and wants his new wife (not himself) to spend more of this time that I traditionally spent with our son during these "undocumented" timeframes that just verbally existed all these years. My son and I did not want to change the schedule and my son preferred to spend the time with me rather than her. Dad claims our agreement infers a 24hr period for "his" evenings vs "my" evenings. The language specifically states overnights only, and does not address the day time nor what time overnights begin. Well, then, in Aug 2004, Dad got mad at me over a religious issue (my son had a bible in his house that I gave him, and, I asked permission for our son to keep it at Dad's house. He initially agreed, then five months later, thought our son was getting too Christian, and returned the bible. He was very angry and physically pushed me out of his house when I insisted that the three of us meet about this issue (at my son's request) and about his rights to worship God. I did not try to fight the bible issue- I just took it home. Since that date, he has not allowed me in or on his premises and, against my son's and my will, has forcefully changed the schedule so that my son has little or no contact with me at all on those times I mentioned above, that were based on verbal agreement. My son now spends that time with either his father's new wife, or at an after-school program on "dad's" days. They won't let him call me when he wants to, or read an email if I send one. We don't call or email much, but, my son always had that freedom before. Dad is hostile and generally abusive when we talk on the phone or email. I just want to get along, and this is fraying my nerves. It has devastated my son, and me. He begs his father to change back to the old schedule, but he refuses. I have retained an attorney, and we are working on this plus a child support issue. My question is, is there anything I can do in the meantime, to restore some or all of what we had so successfully in place until this event. My son is so unhappy, and so am I. Sorry for the long post. Thanks.