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visitation of newborn

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ljones35

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

I guess i'm wondering exactly when visitation rights will start. i'm planning on breast feeding exclusively for the first 6 weeks. i'm not sure how visitation will work with that, and there is no way that i'm allowing my child to be away overnight so soon. plus he is getting a boxer puppy, and i'm not sure i trust is near my newborn son. how soon will he be able to get visitation and how long will it be for at a time?
 


Silverplum

Senior Member
"...there is no way that i'm allowing my child to be away overnight so soon."

So why bother asking? You are already adamant that you "own" the child. Why should we bother looking legal stuff up for you, or sharing our legal experience/s with you?
 
ljones35 said:
What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

I guess i'm wondering exactly when visitation rights will start. i'm planning on breast feeding exclusively for the first 6 weeks. i'm not sure how visitation will work with that, and there is no way that i'm allowing my child to be away overnight so soon. plus he is getting a boxer puppy, and i'm not sure i trust is near my newborn son. how soon will he be able to get visitation and how long will it be for at a time?
~Ok lady, be prepared for an a$$ chewing around here! First of all breast pumps are available this day and age. Invest in one, you will be thankful you did! Dad is going to get visitation and your wasting you energy fighting it. Second of all it is best to raise a child with a "puppy" if you are going to have a dog. When they grow together things are alot easier as well as safe. We have a 6 yr. old dalmation at our home (which are supposed to be terrible with children), and we have never had a problem since day one. What's your next excuse??
 

Jenny0372

Junior Member
ljones35 said:
What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

I guess i'm wondering exactly when visitation rights will start. i'm planning on breast feeding exclusively for the first 6 weeks. i'm not sure how visitation will work with that, and there is no way that i'm allowing my child to be away overnight so soon. plus he is getting a boxer puppy, and i'm not sure i trust is near my newborn son. how soon will he be able to get visitation and how long will it be for at a time?
Actually, you should be able to look at your states standard possession order online. I have never, ever heard of a newborn being ordered overnight visits. Short, fequent visits are best for a newborn. There is a world of information about infants and overnight visits with many new revised studies.

>> Other news for:
Parenting

Resources from HONselect
Divorce Damages Infants, Too
Babies who spend nights in different homes have problems attaching to parents

TUESDAY, April 8 (HealthScoutNews) --Babies who spend nights at the different homes of separated or divorced parents have problems making secure attachments to their parents.

A California study by researchers at the Mills College and the Early Childhood Mental Health Program looked at 145 babies and found 66 percent of 12- to 18-month old babies who had overnight visits at different homes had disorganized attachments with their parents, compared to babies living in intact or separated homes who saw their fathers only during daytime visits. >>>

>>>"Disorganized infants have repeated experiences with attachment figures in which proximity and physical contact are severely compromised, and there is a breakdown in strategies they might have used to signal parents of their distress, and seek contact and comfort. Thus, disorganized babies could not cope with separations and reunions with the parent in the lab setting, and did not trust their parents as a resource to handle stress," says a news release about the study. >>>

>>Overnight visits were not the sole factor affecting the babies' attachments. Other important factors included: the mother's ability to protect her baby from the stress of the parents' separation; the parents' ability to communicate and cooperate about their baby's well-being; and the extent of conflict between the parents. >>

>>The researchers note it's important for parents to keep their problems away from their babies. Parents who are divorced or separated also need to pay attention to their baby's behavior. >>

>>Possible signs that a baby is having problems with overnight visits at the different homes of divorced or separated parents include noticeable behavioral changes such as tantrums or an inability to sleep at night. >>

>>The study authors suggest parents start with trial overnight visits and adjust those according to how well their baby is responding. >>>

Not allowing overnight visits to small children is a very unpopular opinion on this forum. Don't listen to those who have not kept up on the latest research. I have been told by my attorney they are going to start educating the judges in my state on the latest findings. What most don't understand is that no overnight visits(when children are very young) has nothing to do with trying to hinder a relationship with a father, it has everything to do with making sure the child mantains a trust relatonship with both parents. I would not ask for any advice on this forum. You will not get anything that will help you. You will only feel discouraged. Instead, utilize free consultations that most attorneys have for the first visit. By doing this, you will get counsel from an attorney familiar with your states laws. I made the mistake of asking for opinions on this forum and literally got slammed for my opinions on overnight visits. Funny thing, I have talked to many attorneys in my area, and none even remotely said anything like what was said to me here on this forum. My sons pediatrician also was in total agreement with what I am proposing to the court. Let his father see him often. The faster they form a bond, the better. You can address the overnight visits at a later date. Also, breastfeeding is wonderful both for you and the baby. It has many health benefits for baby and even helps mom to lose the extra weight gained during pregnancy. To learn more on the benefits of breastfeeding, go to the American Academy of Pediatrics website. Good luck, and do not listen to the posters who tell you just because you don't want your newborn to have overnight visits you are trying to keep baby from Dad. Research suggests it shouldn't be done and most courts do not order them until baby is a year old. In my state, at a year old, NCP gets one overnight a month. Good luck!
 
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Ambr

Senior Member
Personal experience.....and all court orders are different, all states are different.

We did 3 short visits a week (talking about 4 hours or so each visit). I supplied them with bottles (pumps are great, love them!!!) and they were set. And to be honest, the little break was nice (new infants and all alone). After the first year, it went to over nights.
 

djohnson

Senior Member
Plus baby and dad start bonding earlier and your not looking at a 6 month old (or older) scared of spending the night someplace new. I can't believe how some people 'won't allow' dad to be a part of the childs life, then complain because he's not. Uggg :rolleyes:
 
It can be as early as 4 weeks for overnights, but the system does not work this fast.

I too hurt by reading this. It brought back grim memories. Let's see, this behavior, if untreated, could go on for about 5 years. So guys, get your hands back on the key boards and make music with your key strokes. :D
 

ljones35

Junior Member
it's not that i don't want to allow the child to spend overnights there just to be mean. there are many reasons. 1) i am very worried about it confusing or upseting him, 2) we live in northwestern pa it's COLD here and there is no upstairs heat in the house ( there are no downstairs bedrooms or places for the baby to sleep downstairs ), and 3) as of right now the father lives with his parents and they are yet to accept the pregnancy. i don't want to send him somewhere where he'll be able to sense the tension. i already bought a breast pump, but i'd rather not us it until the baby is 6-8 weeks old. i feel like i spend more time defending myself on here than getting any legal advice. i want the father to be a father, and i want him to spend time with his son. i have offered to let him stay with us or even to move in and i'd support all of us. (he quit his job to return to college full time). it's not that i'm a bad person, i'm just looking out for what's in the best interest of my son.
 

ENASNI

Senior Member
Oy

Okay another post like this and I am gonna give up the farce and just
reverse my name and turn myself in...

The best interest of the child is to have a father.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
ljones35 said:
i don't want to send him somewhere where he'll be able to sense the tension.
Good heavens. My child grew up in an orphanage from birth to two, with 98 other children under age 3 and very little heat, almost no toys, limited food and NO comfort from any parent- and she's a very happy, adjusted child. Your child has TWO parents, there are many hundreds of thousands with NONE. Give your baby a chance to be parented by BOTH their parents from a young age. Your child, unlike the kids back at her orphnage, has the opportunity to be parented by TWO parents. What a LUCKY CHILD. My kid didn't have two parents, not even one, at that age!

And the more time the grandparents have AT THEIR HOME to cootchi-coo the grandkid, the QUICKER they are going to fall in love with him.
 

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