Visitation to non-custodial parent will interfere with extra curricular activities

[sec7907]

My son's father is scheduled to have visitation every other weekend. He has been very sporadic with his visits and in the last 6.5 months hasn't called or shown up. Out of the blue I received a phone call from him saying he was going to take him next weekend (his scheduled weekend). After the phone call I realized that we have a cub scout activity Friday evening and basketball Saturday afternoon. He has said in the past that our son should cancel all activities previously planned on his weekends, can I do anything so that my son can still attend his activities?

 

[futuredust]

My son's father is scheduled to have visitation every other weekend. He has been very sporadic with his visits and in the last 6.5 months hasn't called or shown up. Out of the blue I received a phone call from him saying he was going to take him next weekend (his scheduled weekend). After the phone call I realized that we have a cub scout activity Friday evening and basketball Saturday afternoon. He has said in the past that our son should cancel all activities previously planned on his weekends, can I do anything so that my son can still attend his activities?

If his visits are court ordered, you have to make the child available for visitation.

 

[Some Random Guy]

In the future, do not schedule extra-cirricular activities during his scheduled visitation.

 

[LdiJ]

My son's father is scheduled to have visitation every other weekend. He has been very sporadic with his visits and in the last 6.5 months hasn't called or shown up. Out of the blue I received a phone call from him saying he was going to take him next weekend (his scheduled weekend). After the phone call I realized that we have a cub scout activity Friday evening and basketball Saturday afternoon. He has said in the past that our son should cancel all activities previously planned on his weekends, can I do anything so that my son can still attend his activities?

No, you cannot. Your son will have to miss his activities this time.

I disagree with the other poster who said you shouldn't schedule activities on dad's time. Based on dad's history with visitation its fine to schedule activities, you simply have to bear in mind that if dad decides to exercise visitation, that your son won't be able to participate in the activity that time.

There is no reason to deny your child the right to participate in activities when dad tends not to exercise visitation for months at a time...again, being prepared.

 

[Ohiogal]

While I agree with the other posters, what you can do is go back to court for MODIFICATION to require dad to take junior to his extracurricular activities that fall on his time. The court may very well order it.

 

[janM]

What state are you in?

 

[truebluemd]

While I agree with the other posters, what you can do is go back to court for MODIFICATION to require dad to take junior to his extracurricular activities that fall on his time. The court may very well order it.

Especially if you have a journal detailing his missed visits.

 

[wileybunch]

My son's father is scheduled to have visitation every other weekend. He has been very sporadic with his visits and in the last 6.5 months hasn't called or shown up. Out of the blue I received a phone call from him saying he was going to take him next weekend (his scheduled weekend). After the phone call I realized that we have a cub scout activity Friday evening and basketball Saturday afternoon. He has said in the past that our son should cancel all activities previously planned on his weekends, can I do anything so that my son can still attend his activities?

There's nothing you can do TODAY about it, it's Dad's choice. Call Dad back and say you wanted to let him know about some activities son has scheduled during Dad's parenting time and they are ..... Give him the dates, times, locations. Offer to email him a map to the locations if he's never been there before or doesn't know where they are. Keep a positive attitude, use your gracious skills to convey this to dad, don't sound demeaning or dictatorial, don't act surprised he's showing up after 6 months, etc.

If that doesn't work, you have potential court options, but court options don't preclude our responsibility to be good co parents so go that route first.

 

[sec7907]

What state are you in?

I live in Oregon with the child. His father moved out of state to Washington about 3 hours away.

 

[sec7907]

In the future, do not schedule extra-cirricular activities during his scheduled visitation.

I didn't choose to set up things on his weekend, that is just when sports and club activities fall. The main concern is the Cub Scouts Pine Wood Derby is this Friday and that is the entire reason that my son wanted to join to Cub Scouts and now he may possibly even miss it. When talking to my son he said he would rather go to cub scouts then see his Dad, because he doesn't want to miss this event even though he has seen his dad Since July.

 

[Zigner]

When talking to my son he said he would rather go to cub scouts then see his Dad, because he doesn't want to miss this event even though he has seen his dad Since July.

WHY would you lay this on your young CHILD?

 

[sec7907]

WHY would you lay this on your young CHILD?

I did not lay this on my child. He has a calendar in his room with all of his activities listed so that he can count down the days to things and I told him that his dad wanted to pick him up he went to write it on his calendar and saw the conflicts and asked about them. I am not a bad parent and would never put it on my child like that! I don't understand why people are attacking me and my parenting, I posted a question for help/advice on what to do in the best interest of my son! I have been there for my son and he has not, so why am I being tagged as the bad person?????

 

[stealth2]

Honestly? You really should have checked the calendar yourself to see what conflicts existed (and, to be honest - if the derby's next w/e, how did you not know as soon as he gave you the date?). But that's water under the bridge. Call Dad, explain the conflict and that son would REALLY like to attend the Pinewood Derby on that Friday, and ask if Dad would be willing to take him (offer to split the cost of a hotel if he decides not to drive straight home after) or wait until Saturday morning to pick kiddo up or switch to the following weekend.

If he refuses, you'll have to make the call if a potential contempt filing is worth it to you to deny him the child.

 

[nextwife]

Have you tried offering dad the next weekend in exchange?