visitation in rehab

[aap1965]

I am getting some interesting questions that help me to realize that the interpretor of the law is not me and what I consider to be the right thing but the wording of the decree and that emotion is not a part of that for a reason and that while that is counterintuitive for me it actually makes a hell of a lot of sense. I also am realizing that what is best for me is not necessarily what is best for my girls, a rather bitter pill to swallow. Tomorrow I will get the papers, quote the visitation orders and bow to the better knowledge of the panel thanks!

 

[Silverplum]

I am getting some interesting questions that help me to realize that the interpretor of the law is not me and what I consider to be the right thing but the wording of the decree and that emotion is not a part of that for a reason and that while that is counterintuitive for me it actually makes a hell of a lot of sense. I also am realizing that what is best for me is not necessarily what is best for my girls, a rather bitter pill to swallow. Tomorrow I will get the papers, quote the visitation orders and bow to the better knowledge of the panel thanks!

If we were huggy types, we'd be hugging you right now.

 

[Ohiogal]

I am getting some interesting questions that help me to realize that the interpretor of the law is not me and what I consider to be the right thing but the wording of the decree and that emotion is not a part of that for a reason and that while that is counterintuitive for me it actually makes a hell of a lot of sense. I also am realizing that what is best for me is not necessarily what is best for my girls, a rather bitter pill to swallow. Tomorrow I will get the papers, quote the visitation orders and bow to the better knowledge of the panel thanks!

Oh my God Oh My God you guys
This newbie gets it
And now Ohiogal cries!



Okay I am too hooked on Legally Blonde the Musical but dang. You actually realize it is NOT about you and it is about the court order. Quote the orders and we will help you.

 

[BL]

Oh my God Oh My God you guys
This newbie gets it
And now Ohiogal cries!



Okay I am too hooked on Legally Blonde the Musical but dang. You actually realize it is NOT about you and it is about the court order. Quote the orders and we will help you.

I also am realizing that what is best for me is not necessarily what is best for my girls, a rather bitter pill to swallow.

Yes , the best interest of the child(ren) .

And just think , with your co-operation and willingness to go about it this way , Dad might even realize the best interest of the children is to turn his life around .

 

[cyjeff]

Oh my God Oh My God you guys
This newbie gets it
And now Ohiogal cries!



Okay I am too hooked on Legally Blonde the Musical but dang. You actually realize it is NOT about you and it is about the court order. Quote the orders and we will help you.

And, just that easily, I am both scared and amused.

Does anyone else wonder why a man with 14 DUI's is picking up his children?

 

[cyjeff]

I am getting some interesting questions that help me to realize that the interpretor of the law is not me and what I consider to be the right thing but the wording of the decree and that emotion is not a part of that for a reason and that while that is counterintuitive for me it actually makes a hell of a lot of sense. I also am realizing that what is best for me is not necessarily what is best for my girls, a rather bitter pill to swallow. Tomorrow I will get the papers, quote the visitation orders and bow to the better knowledge of the panel thanks!

The hardest thing to realize about the law is that, once put to paper, it is black and white.

If the court order says that you have to stand on one leg while the exchange of children takes place, you'd best get to hoppin'.

There is what is right, there is what is wrong, there is justice and then there is the law.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I figured that the OP could go to court and have it ordered that the X doesn't do the actual driving.

Now, is that 14 CONVICTIONS? Or just 14 arrests? There's that little constitutional thing that forces the questions.

 

[Ohiogal]

I figured that the OP could go to court and have it ordered that the X doesn't do the actual driving.

Now, is that 14 CONVICTIONS? Or just 14 arrests? There's that little constitutional thing that forces the questions.

In which case any responsible licensed adult known to both parents could pick up and transport the children which would mean.... voila. Grandma gets to take the children to see dad in rehab.

 

[cyjeff]

In which case any responsible licensed adult known to both parents could pick up and transport the children which would mean.... voila. Grandma gets to take the children to see dad in rehab.

To be honest... a guy with that many DUI's lost his license a very long time ago...

If he didn't, I wouldn't let him pick up take out much less my children.

 

[Indiana Filer]

I'm betting the OP is near me, since I'm frozen in and our courts were closed today here in Southern Indiana.

 

[LdiJ]

I skipped the whole second page of this thread.

Indiana judges will NOT ding a parent for not taking a child to visit a parent in rehab or prison.

Indiana judges also will NOT ding a parent for not allowing other relatives to take the child to visit the parent in rehab or prison.

Indiana judges absolutely WILL NOT ding a parent for not allowing other relatives to exercise that parent's visitation while the parent is in rehab or prison.

An Indiana judge MIGHT, if the grandparents filed for visitation, grant visitation orders to a grandparent if their child is in long term rehab or prison.

 

[aap1965]

I am glad that the 14 DUI arrests have finally raised some eyebrows. Two of them in 2008, he is currently under suspension so his Mother or girlfriend have (for the most part) been driving him around. He did tell our 10 year old daughter that his driving priveledges were only revoked in Lawrence County (the county we live in) but that he could drive anywhere else. Fortunately she has an excellent BS meter and my cell phone number so we put the kaibosh on that one. Do I have to allow him to pick up the kids if he is driving while suspended? Is it worth the satisfaction of having him busted even though it would hurt the kids? The answer is unequivocably, NO. He has never attempted to pick them up while intoxicated because at that point all bets are off. I don't like the Mother-In-Law but she is Grandma and he is Dad so her taking them to rehab would be OK I guess as a means to an end. She has some issues with boundaries and what is appropriate to discuss with a 10 year old but once again what is in the girls' best interest**************...a confusing situation that involves more than just the interpretation of a visitation order. Yikes!

 

[aap1965]

Ldij I like your answers now I am wondering what is the in the best interest of the kids. I don't want to allow them to go but honestly I don't want my girls around him at all and really I'd like to pretend that I was the only one involved in their inception (sort of like a Jewish Virgin Mary) but once again he is their Dad and they love him and she is their Grandma and they love Her. I hate being the adult!

 

[LdiJ]

Ldij I like your answers now I am wondering what is the in the best interest of the kids. I don't want to allow them to go but honestly I don't want my girls around him at all and really I'd like to pretend that I was the only one involved in their inception (sort of like a Jewish Virgin Mary) but once again he is their Dad and they love him and she is their Grandma and they love Her. I hate being the adult!

No one here can tell you what is in the best interests of your children. We don't know you, we don't know dad, we don't know grandma, and we don't know your children.

All we can do is tell you what the law says, how local judges handle things, possibly point out some errors in your logic or give you some alternative ideas.

I have heard more than one Indiana judge state that in his/her opinion prison or rehab was no place for children. In my opinon, in a situation where dad is only going to be gone for 90 days, that there is no reason for the children to visit him there.

However, I also think that it would be wise to take it to court and ask the judge to suspend his visitation, pending the results of rehab. That way it will be a judge deciding what kind of visitation, and how often, will be put into place after dad gets out of rehab.

With 14 DUIs, unless dad truly wants to be sober, the odds of 90 days being enough are not strong. Most judges would want dad's visitation to be strictly monitored (preferibly by a member of his family if they can be trusted) until dad proves that he is going to stay sober.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Why not have your daughter send some nice school papers and a letter to dad? Everyone likes mail that isn't a bill. It shows you FACILITATING a relationship between the child and the NCP. Maybe dad will write back.

Heck, I send mail to the child who lives in my house! There is always a complaint that "I don't get any mail."