What is the name of your state?Pennsylvania. What are the visitation rights for a father that has not paid child support in 1 1/2 years. The father has watched his child only 5 times in this period. He just recieved his summons to appear in court for child support 3 days ago. Now he is calling and asking if he can watch his son while I work. He has never done this before. Should I allow him to see his son before we appear for child support. The hearing is on June 10. Help, I do not know what to tell him.
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visitation rights for a deadbeat dad
- Thread starter shadow586
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stepmom&mom
Member
It depends on whether or not paternity/visitation/custody was established.
Basically, is there a court ordering giving him visitation rights?
Basically, is there a court ordering giving him visitation rights?
VeronicaGia
Senior Member
1. In the past 1 1/2 years, has there been court ordered child support? If not, he was not obligated to pay child support.shadow586 said:
2. Support and visitation are separate issues. He does not have to pay to see his child, and you cannot deny him court ordered visitation if he doesn't pay.
3. Does he have court ordered visitation? If not, you can tell him to go pound sand. This may or may not go over well with a judge; no one can tell you how a judge will feel or rule on any particular subject.
4. The word "allow" is annoying. This is not only your child. You allow your child to watch tv or eat a cookie. If he had custody, should he "allow" you to see your own child?
There is no court order for visitation rights and I do not want to deny him to see his son. I actually want him to be a big part of his son's life. There is no court order for child support either. I have been together with him for the past 1 1/2 years. I live with my parents and they support me and my son financially. I asked my now ex-boyfriend for money and he always had an excuse for why he couldn't pay. ( mainly, he would tell me he was saving his money so we could get married and move in together) Now that he has been served with the papers to appear in court for child support, his mother calls me as well to ask about our son and if she can babysit him. She has never done this before, ever! In fact, she would call me and yell for dropping my son off to his father to be watched while I work.(he lives with his parents)
I just need some advice on what reasonable people would do. Thanks for your advice so far, it is helping me sort things out.
I just need some advice on what reasonable people would do. Thanks for your advice so far, it is helping me sort things out.
I would also be a bit more honest in how you are presenting your situation, in your first post you said he hadn't been paying or realy involved with the child in the past year and a half, then a few posts later you said you were in a relationship with him at that time, and you were fine with him not paying support because you thought at the end of it you would be married, you always had the option to petition for support. I am sure that dad has seen the child more than 5 times in the year and a half- especially since you were dating each other, if the situation is as I suspect it is I think you my be looking at a 50/50 legal and a 50/50 physical situation once all is said and done.shadow586 said:
I am being honest. When we were dating, he would meet me at the mall (I live across the street from the mall) or at the park. We would spend 2-3 hours together. He is 19 and doesn't drive, so there was no going out to dinner or movies. So yes, he did see his son 2 or 3 days a week. What I meant by him not watching (babysitting) his son with the exception of about 5 times is that he NEVER ONCE called me and asked if he could watch our son or if I could have him dropped off at his house so that he could spend a day with him. In fact, he and his mother would give me a hard time about asking them to watch our son. But, now that he has been served papers, he and his mother call and ask if they could watch (babysit) our son a couple days a week. I know that it is a ploy to get lower child support, but it doesn't feel right to say no. I am kinda stuck on what I should do. By the way, his mother only saw my son 1 or 2 times a week. (only when I would take the bus over to his house). She has never called to ask if she could babysit my son. She has never stopped down to visit or called when he was sick to see how he was doing. She never bought him clothing or toys. She never offered to give me a ride to his doctors appointment. But, now since her son has been served papers, she wants to babysit. (she is very controlling of her son). Sorry for the long thread, but there is a lot to this story and it is why I am confused. Thanks, for the replies
as to your original question, what do reasonable people do...
1. follow through with the court process
2. encourage relationship between dad and child, double benefit of being good for your child and looking good for you in court
3. if you are on good terms with your ex ask him to make the requests for visits with his child when his family wants, his family should visit with the child on his time, then you don't have to deal with them
4. if you are on good terms with your ex see if you can come to a parenting arrangement that is in the childs best interest together before going to court, this could build a good coparenting relationship with your ex and save you both time and money
1. follow through with the court process
2. encourage relationship between dad and child, double benefit of being good for your child and looking good for you in court
3. if you are on good terms with your ex ask him to make the requests for visits with his child when his family wants, his family should visit with the child on his time, then you don't have to deal with them
4. if you are on good terms with your ex see if you can come to a parenting arrangement that is in the childs best interest together before going to court, this could build a good coparenting relationship with your ex and save you both time and money
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