I live in NJ. I currently have a Final Restraining Order against the father of my 19 month old daughter for domestic abuse towards me. It has been in effect since June 0f 2007 (It was modified in August of the same year - a slight change in visitation schedule). He and I have joint custody, with me having residential custody. He pays 90/week in child support, and has visitation scheduled on Wednesday 5-10pm locally and overnight Friday from 6:00pm to Sunday at 8 pm. Her father and I use "curbside drop off" meaning that when he picks her up on Wednesday and Friday, someone other than me transfers my daughter to him and when I pick her up Sunday, someone is supposed to trasnfer her to me. We live in separate counties more than 60 miles apart.
I have tried my best to ensure that he is getting his opportunity to father our daughter, meaning I've been lax with the terms of the order - that is until he recently verbally threatened me with harm. I reported this to the police as I took it very seriously (I am currently 7months pregnant with my boyfriend's baby), and he has yet to be served with the violation. I have informed in by text (which is allowed by the order) that I do not want him present for the transfers. He has been present the last two times, with his mother who was there finally when I picked her up this weekend.
I am afraid of what he could do to my daughter (i.e. kidnap her, etc) and I also do NOT wish to see him. And I am afraid of him myself. Do I have a right to request he not be present for the transfer? Can I change the order so that I do not have to deal with him or do so less? Also, I would like to have some weekends with my daughter. How can I change? Can I also request he undergo anger management or counseling for his issues if he wants to keep seeing her?
Need help! Thank you!