Visitation schedule Clarity

[82nd Airborne]

North Carolina


I was awarded primary custody of our two daughters but in the mother's court ordered visitation, the judge awarded her liberal visitation. The mother now lives two states over in Georgia. The judge said the mother will have a rolling every 3 week visitation. I will have the girls two weekends and on the third weekend I am to take them a portion of the way to their mom's house in Ga. She also is awarded teacher workdays,spring breaks, Every other tgiving and Christmas along with the entire summer. I explained to the mom that my interpretation was that we just go to the calendar first and mark off every third weekend then go back and add in all of the extra visitation days. I explained to her that this may sometimes mean that I will pick the girls up from visitation with her and the very next weekend be bringing them right back to her because of the continued counting of the 3 weeks even in the midst of any extra visits.

EXAMPLE: her 3rd weekend was March 27, 2015. Spring break in NC where the girls go to school was April 3-12 ( her awarded visitation). I explained to her that her rotating 3 weeks means that I bring them back to her Friday April 17, 2015. She says no because spring break made the 3 week start over. I told her that no where in the order does it state that holidays make the rotation start over. To cover my butt I will drive the girls down this afternoon BUT she says she will not be there until May first. Is she wrong? Am I wrong? What should I do because I do not want to be in contempt. I really want to be in compliance.

 

[Ohiogal]

North Carolina


I was awarded primary custody of our two daughters but in the mother's court ordered visitation, the judge awarded her liberal visitation. The mother now lives two states over in Georgia. The judge said the mother will have a rolling every 3 week visitation. I will have the girls two weekends and on the third weekend I am to take them a portion of the way to their mom's house in Ga. She also is awarded teacher workdays,spring breaks, Every other tgiving and Christmas along with the entire summer. I explained to the mom that my interpretation was that we just go to the calendar first and mark off every third weekend then go back and add in all of the extra visitation days. I explained to her that this may sometimes mean that I will pick the girls up from visitation with her and the very next weekend be bringing them right back to her because of the continued counting of the 3 weeks even in the midst of any extra visits.

EXAMPLE: her 3rd weekend was March 27, 2015. Spring break in NC where the girls go to school was April 3-12 ( her awarded visitation). I explained to her that her rotating 3 weeks means that I bring them back to her Friday April 17, 2015. She says no because spring break made the 3 week start over. I told her that no where in the order does it state that holidays make the rotation start over. To cover my butt I will drive the girls down this afternoon BUT she says she will not be there until May first. Is she wrong? Am I wrong? What should I do because I do not want to be in contempt. I really want to be in compliance.

The two of you can't even agree on this? Your interpretation or her interpretation could be correct based on the totality of the order.

 

[CJane]

If the order doesn't specifically state that the rotation starts over after holidays/extended visits, then it doesn't.

 

[LdiJ]

If the order doesn't specifically state that the rotation starts over after holidays/extended visits, then it doesn't.

I agree...but it wouldn't surprise me if the problem was that mom can't actually afford to make the trip more often than every three weeks, and that is why she is insisting that it starts over.

 

[cheesecake46580]

You could spend the money and ask the court for clarification of the order. Or try and meet mom in the middle. Did you have an attorney if so what is his/her opinion?

 

[82nd Airborne]

Mother took Children to Georgia even I have primary custody

Hello all, I am back with more issues. I have custody of my two daughters ages 10 and 4. I have had an issue with my oldest daughter in her 4th grade class with not turning in assignments on time and lying. This past Thursday, I physically disciplined her with my belt by hitting her on her bottom (clothes on) because this was the second time this incident happened in school. I did see a bruise on her bottom and a few red marks. She went to school the next morning and my mother picked the girls up from school like she always does. This particular weekend was my daughter's mother's visitation weekend. My mother took the girls to Georgia to meet their mother on Friday. The stayed with her for the weekend and she was supposed to meet me 1/4 of the way from Charlotte in a town called Gaffney, SC at 6pm that Sunday. She did not. I got a call from the police saying she showed the officer pictures of my daughter's bottom and that she would not meet me until she spoke with her attorney. She did not take the children to school today (Monday) and I later got an email that she had taken the girls to Georgia with her to remain until a court date. I am wondering if she can do this? My oldest daughter gets out of school in about three weeks but they are preparing for end of grade testing. My daughter despite her issue is an honor student and has been for two years. It bothers me that she just up and took them out of school. I need to know what is legal. ps...I do not have any pattern of abuse or anything like that. This was my first time ever disciplining her with a belt. We really do have a loving household.

 

[cheesecake46580]

Shame on you spanking that poor child with a belt and leaving marks! You really opened up a can of worms here. Here is from the dcs manual on child abuse in your state and what you described will require investigation by dcs if reported and I'm sure mom has by now. We all make mistakes as parents but come on a belt seriously. Get into a parenting class asap lots of other ways to discipline other than hitting with a belt!

Abuse includes infliction of a serious physical injury by other than accidental means; creating a substantial risk of such injury by other than accidental means; and using cruel or grossly inappropriate procedures or devices to modify behavior. Juvenile § 7B-101(1). [Civil Code]

North Carolina does allow parents to physically discipline their children. Following is the guidance that is within our Child Protective Services Manual for county Department of Social Services, parents and individuals to review and follow:

"Parents have a right to discipline their children. Done appropriately, spanking and the use of corporal punishment are not considered child abuse. Corporal punishment, commonly referred to as physical discipline or spanking, is the application of physical force, including striking with the hand or with an object, against the body of another. However, significant trauma and tissue damage, such as bruises, welts, or lacerations may be signs of child neglect (inappropriate discipline) or child abuse, depending on the extent of the injuries.

Factors to consider regarding bruising include: location and severity of the injury, child's age and developmental stage, and whether the bruises are consistent with normal play. Injuries such as these, not resulting from an accident, must be assessed. A definition of significant trauma is any injury beyond temporary redness of the skin. A practical guideline to use is that any inflicted injury which lasts more than 24 hours constitutes significant injury and requires an investigation."

 

[I'mTheFather]

Hello all, I am back with more issues. I have custody of my two daughters ages 10 and 4. I have had an issue with my oldest daughter in her 4th grade class with not turning in assignments on time and lying. This past Thursday, I physically disciplined her with my belt by hitting her on her bottom (clothes on) because this was the second time this incident happened in school. I did see a bruise on her bottom and a few red marks. She went to school the next morning and my mother picked the girls up from school like she always does. This particular weekend was my daughter's mother's visitation weekend. My mother took the girls to Georgia to meet their mother on Friday. The stayed with her for the weekend and she was supposed to meet me 1/4 of the way from Charlotte in a town called Gaffney, SC at 6pm that Sunday. She did not. I got a call from the police saying she showed the officer pictures of my daughter's bottom and that she would not meet me until she spoke with her attorney. She did not take the children to school today (Monday) and I later got an email that she had taken the girls to Georgia with her to remain until a court date. I am wondering if she can do this? My oldest daughter gets out of school in about three weeks but they are preparing for end of grade testing. My daughter despite her issue is an honor student and has been for two years. It bothers me that she just up and took them out of school. I need to know what is legal. ps...I do not have any pattern of abuse or anything like that. This was my first time ever disciplining her with a belt. We really do have a loving household.

I don't think any judge will ding your ex for keeping the children. I can't imagine how hard or how long you must have hit her to cause a bruise through her clothing.

 

[cheesecake46580]

I don't think any judge will ding your ex for keeping the children. I can't imagine how hard or how long you must have hit her to cause a bruise through her clothing.

If mom contacted dcs I would not be surprised if they told her to keep the children pending and investigation. And if not I agree with them not dinging mom for keeping them until this is sorted out.

 

[stealth2]

Dude - you screwed up. Big time. A lot - if not most - kids do the same thing at some point in their school careers. There are better ways to deal with it than by using corporal punishment - that leaves marks *through clothes*. Good Lord. You need a lawyer (I don't remember if you have one). And you should start wrapping your head around losing physical custody and possibly getting supervised visitation. I can tell you that I would be screaming for your head if it were my kids.

 

[Ohiogal]

Loving homes do not engage in child abuse. Which this was. You didn't spank your daughter -- you BEAT her with an object. Hence the bruising and welts.