Visitation in an unsafe environment.

[dinodanielle1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CT

I am the mother of a 6 year old. Her father has visitation every other weekend @ his house. He misses visits constantly (about 1/2 the time) and then also takes months of absences at a time...he currently hasnt seen her at all in 4 months. He is taking me to court to get his Child Support reduced bc he lost his job. He also filed a motion asking for his visitation to be enforced (I have never denied). Im not sure if he is just asking for visitation to "look better" in front of the judge to help his Child Support decrease case (after all, if he was so worried about visits, he already has a schedule that he doesnt use).

If visits resume, I have serious concerns about the house that my daughter has her visits at. He has recently become a member of the Bloods street gang and his house is being used for illegal activity. He is stupid enough to post videos and pictures of these things onto YouTube/FaceBook. I have the videos and a bunch of pictures showing this activity (gang affiliation, him with guns, stolen property, marijuana use).

I have brought similar things up to the court in the past and they have kinda went ignored but I never had pictures to prove as much. I would like a decrease in visitation (due to how often he cancels and also the extended absences) and I would like the visits to be in a safe environment, maybe even supervised by me.

Am I being reasonable? Do I have enough to make a serious Cross Motion? Will these pictures and videos send a message to the judge about the environment that she has to be in? Thanks.

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CT

I am the mother of a 6 year old. Her father has visitation every other weekend @ his house. He misses visits constantly (about 1/2 the time) and then also takes months of absences at a time...he currently hasnt seen her at all in 4 months. He is taking me to court to get his Child Support reduced bc he lost his job. He also filed a motion asking for his visitation to be enforced (I have never denied). Im not sure if he is just asking for visitation to "look better" in front of the judge to help his Child Support decrease case (after all, if he was so worried about visits, he already has a schedule that he doesnt use).

If visits resume, I have serious concerns about the house that my daughter has her visits at. He has recently become a member of the Bloods street gang and his house is being used for illegal activity. He is stupid enough to post videos and pictures of these things onto YouTube/FaceBook. I have the videos and a bunch of pictures showing this activity (gang affiliation, him with guns, stolen property, marijuana use).

I have brought similar things up to the court in the past and they have kinda went ignored but I never had pictures to prove as much. I would like a decrease in visitation (due to how often he cancels and also the extended absences) and I would like the visits to be in a safe environment, maybe even supervised by me.

Am I being reasonable? Do I have enough to make a serious Cross Motion? Will these pictures and videos send a message to the judge about the environment that she has to be in? Thanks.

I'd like to know how many times you've shared these instances of criminal activity with the local authorities?

 

[dinodanielle1]

I'd like to know how many times you've shared these instances of criminal activity with the local authorities?

I have reported it twice. First time about 3 years ago and he got arrested for DUI with drugs in the car. Second time was more recently to the police dept of his town...asking them if they could at least monitor the area bc my daughter is there.

I would have done it more but I dont always have the proof the authorities are looking for.

Does that have influence over my case?

 

[Antigone*]

I have reported it twice. First time about 3 years ago and he got arrested for DUI with drugs in the car. Second time was more recently to the police dept of his town...asking them if they could at least monitor the area bc my daughter is there.

I would have done it more but I dont always have the proof the authorities are looking for.

Does that have influence over my case?

It certainly can influence the fact that your daughter is being taken to a dangerous place. You will need to present this type of evidence to the court.

You might consider asking for supervised visits at this point - with dad paying for the supervision.

 

[dinodanielle1]

It certainly can influence the fact that your daughter is being taken to a dangerous place. You will need to present this type of evidence to the court.

You might consider asking for supervised visits at this point - with dad paying for the supervision.

Is there anything else I could/should be doing to show and prove this environment is dangerous to her? Anything specific I should be focusing on? Any specific wording I should be using in my X-Motion to grab the judges attention?

I understand the pictures will hold some weight but like I said, I have brought this to the attention of the court before (with pics, just not as many or as bad) and my concerns were basically ignored. Dad promises this stuff will never happen again and the judge takes him at his word...but of course it continues to go on, possible getting even worse by the looks of these pictures.

I will be doing this without a lawyer so all help with this process is appreciated.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CT

I am the mother of a 6 year old. Her father has visitation every other weekend @ his house. He misses visits constantly (about 1/2 the time) and then also takes months of absences at a time...he currently hasnt seen her at all in 4 months. He is taking me to court to get his Child Support reduced bc he lost his job. He also filed a motion asking for his visitation to be enforced (I have never denied). Im not sure if he is just asking for visitation to "look better" in front of the judge to help his Child Support decrease case (after all, if he was so worried about visits, he already has a schedule that he doesnt use).

If visits resume, I have serious concerns about the house that my daughter has her visits at. He has recently become a member of the Bloods street gang and his house is being used for illegal activity. He is stupid enough to post videos and pictures of these things onto YouTube/FaceBook. I have the videos and a bunch of pictures showing this activity (gang affiliation, him with guns, stolen property, marijuana use).

I have brought similar things up to the court in the past and they have kinda went ignored but I never had pictures to prove as much. I would like a decrease in visitation (due to how often he cancels and also the extended absences) and I would like the visits to be in a safe environment, maybe even supervised by me.

Am I being reasonable? Do I have enough to make a serious Cross Motion? Will these pictures and videos send a message to the judge about the environment that she has to be in? Thanks.

Please be honest here...Did you actually deny visitation due to Dad's alleged gang activity? I certainly can understand it if you DID, but please keep in mind that we can't advise you correctly without all the facts.

 

[dinodanielle1]

Please be honest here...Did you actually deny visitation due to Dad's alleged gang activity? I certainly can understand it if you DID, but please keep in mind that we can't advise you correctly without all the facts.

Absolutely not. I follow the CO to the best of my ability (even though I am a nervous wreck when she is with him) so that I look compliant when I go in front of the judge. I understand you need the real facts just like the judge will, and that is the truth. I even have emails sent to him questioning him if he will be coming, with no response.

Like I said, I have told the police about what is going on there. A couple months after that he stopped visiting (he didnt get arrested) voluntarily. Here we are months after his last visit and he is trying to decrease child support and asking for visitation again, which if the pattern continues he will exercise for a few months, then the cancellations start, then he goes missing...this pattern has been going on for years.

Im just praying that one of these court dates the judge will take my daughters safety seriously.

 

[dmcc10880]

Nothing like a good 'ole call into Child Protective Services or CT's name for it.

 

[dinodanielle1]

Nothing like a good 'ole call into Child Protective Services or CT's name for it.

You know as obvious as that is it didnt cross my mind. They are so backed up that they won't do anything until after the court date but it should help in the future. Thanks.


Is there any other advice/opinions as far as my actual court date goes? I could really use the help and the date is coming up quickly.

 

[CJane]

I would respond with a motion to suspend visitation based on Dad's lack of contact with the child and the potentially unsafe conditions/environment at his home.

Request the involvement of a Guardian ad Litem, to observe/investigate both households and determine what level of visitation is in the best interests of the child currently.

 

[mistoffolees]

You know as obvious as that is it didnt cross my mind. They are so backed up that they won't do anything until after the court date but it should help in the future. Thanks.


Is there any other advice/opinions as far as my actual court date goes? I could really use the help and the date is coming up quickly.

If possible, get an attorney.

If that's not possible, you gather up all your evidence and present it to the judge. Learn the rules of evidence so you're not trying to present hearsay.

I don't know the procedure, but I'd be very cautious about presenting a reduction in parenting time as a response to his request to reduce child support. They're really unrelated and if you file for a custody change as a response to a CS case, it looks like you're trying to tie them together ("if he's paying less support, she shouldn't see the child as much").

Call CPS and/or the police every time you get evidence of illegal activity.

I might be inclined to file a SEPARATE case (probably as an exparte hearing) requesting that visitation be supervised.

Some of what you're complaining about won't work though. You can't get a reduction in visitation simply because he's not using his visitation. He has the right to use it as much or as little as he wants. From a practical perspective, it's likely to backfire. If he's seeing the child 4 times a year now, as soon as you file for a reduction in visitation, he may start exercising visitation more regularly. Therefore, focus on getting the visitation supervised rather than reducing it.

 

[CJane]

If possible, get an attorney.

If that's not possible, you gather up all your evidence and present it to the judge. Learn the rules of evidence so you're not trying to present hearsay.

I don't know the procedure, but I'd be very cautious about presenting a reduction in parenting time as a response to his request to reduce child support.

Normally, yes. But apparently Dad has already tied the two together in HIS filing, and therefore Mom needs to respond appropriately.

 

[dinodanielle1]

If possible, get an attorney.

If that's not possible, you gather up all your evidence and present it to the judge. Learn the rules of evidence so you're not trying to present hearsay.

I don't know the procedure, but I'd be very cautious about presenting a reduction in parenting time as a response to his request to reduce child support. They're really unrelated and if you file for a custody change as a response to a CS case, it looks like you're trying to tie them together ("if he's paying less support, she shouldn't see the child as much").

Call CPS and/or the police every time you get evidence of illegal activity.

I might be inclined to file a SEPARATE case (probably as an exparte hearing) requesting that visitation be supervised.

Some of what you're complaining about won't work though. You can't get a reduction in visitation simply because he's not using his visitation. He has the right to use it as much or as little as he wants. From a practical perspective, it's likely to backfire. If he's seeing the child 4 times a year now, as soon as you file for a reduction in visitation, he may start exercising visitation more regularly. Therefore, focus on getting the visitation supervised rather than reducing it.

A lawyer is almost completely out of the question, especially on such short notice and without receiving any child support.

I will be talking to CPS and trying to have the police monitor his house for me.

I would much rather supervised visits over a reduction. Supervised means she is safe and thats all I really care about.

 

[dinodanielle1]

Normally, yes. But apparently Dad has already tied the two together in HIS filing, and therefore Mom needs to respond appropriately.

Yes, that is how he filed it, which I was confused by because I thought they were separate issues.

In this scenario I should just be filing a single cross-motion both responding to the reduction in child support (which I wont be fighting too hard) and my evidence for the unsafe environment requesting supervised or suspended visitation. Sound about right??

 

[dinodanielle1]

If that's not possible, you gather up all your evidence and present it to the judge. Learn the rules of evidence so you're not trying to present hearsay.

Sorry for the triple post.

The only evidence I will be presenting is the already court documented history/pattern, my "log book" notes showing his missed visits and other instances, and the pictures/videos of the activity at his house.

Should I be good with those things?