visits

[proud_parent]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

We got ours to around 1485 (I believe); records prior to that were really sticky. Most of the parishes vital to the research didn't keep complete records....most of them didn't actually keep marriage records or full birth records at that point. It's a little frustrating at times.

I hear you. We got ours to ~1482 Framlingham, Suffolk County and no farther.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by proud_parent

I hear you. We got ours to ~1482 Framlingham, Suffolk County and no farther.

We get stumped in Cornwall (England). Bloomin' lack of records. Hrmph.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Blue Meanie

My Mom actually published a book on our family. She has been doing Genealogy for about 40 years...Half of Mass is related to to the Royals...'cause they were (are ??) sl**s. ....(that would be the Royals...not half of Mass)

There is one "branch" so to speak that I am descended from that goes all the way back to William the Conqueror (england, about 1100 for those who are unfamiliar). There is a geneology book on that family that is printed about every 40 or 50 years and I am in the last one published. That is my dad's side of the family.

On my mom's side I am directly descended from a really cool woman who was royal governess to the Crown Prince of Sweden. She spoke 7 languages fluently and was highly educated for a woman of her time.

However, there are tons of other "branches" of family who figure into the whole mix...with a bit of native amercian mixed in there too.

My granddaughter is Scotch, Irish, English, French, Norwegian, Swedish, Italian, North African and African American (with who knows what else combined there). She is a "melting pot" all by herself.

[pinkey14]

I am a really big fan of this forum, and the advice and collaboration offered by those who frequently post is invaluable. I'll even admit that I enjoy the humor thrown in.

I realize that my 2 cents means nothing and that I can go away. That said, I really thinks it's a shame that seniors and a few others are happy to hijack anyone ELSE'S thread with meaningless drivel that is irrelevant to the OP's question. It is disrespectful and unprofessional. It leads newcomers to believe that they can't be taken seriously or that their question is unimportant.

I'd like to suggest that if these conversations can't take place via private messaging, that something be added to the "sticky" for newbies to let them know not to take it personally when their thread is hijacked by a senior for his/her personal stand-up venue, but that hijacking is still "not allowed" unless perpetrated by someone in the inner circle.

Again, I'm just a single dad with no current questions today (and I, too, enjoy sarcasm and a good laugh), but find the two-faced behavior disheartening.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by pinkey14

I am a really big fan of this forum, and the advice and collaboration offered by those who frequently post is invaluable. I'll even admit that I enjoy the humor thrown in.

I realize that my 2 cents means nothing and that I can go away. That said, I really thinks it's a shame that seniors and a few others are happy to hijack anyone ELSE'S thread with meaningless drivel that is irrelevant to the OP's question. It is disrespectful and unprofessional. It leads newcomers to believe that they can't be taken seriously or that their question is unimportant.

I'd like to suggest that if these conversations can't take place via private messaging, that something be added to the "sticky" for newbies to let them know not to take it personally when their thread is hijacked by a senior for his/her personal stand-up venue, but that hijacking is still "not allowed" unless perpetrated by someone in the inner circle.

Again, I'm just a single dad with no current questions today (and I, too, enjoy sarcasm and a good laugh), but find the two-faced behavior disheartening.

You are right...we really shouldn't hijack threads for trivia. It is disrespectful.

However, in our defense, I will say that the threads that get hijacked for trivia are generally only threads that are clearly dead otherwise, where its clear that the original poster is long gone and will not be back.

In addition, the moderator is pretty quick on the mark to close those threads not long after the hijack happens.

We also deal with a lot of really serious issues, all the time, and sometimes the levity is our only real way of keeping sane. We are all volunteers here and if we cannot let off a little steam now and then, we will crack.

[pinkey14]

I do realize that, which is why I was really reluctant to say anything. I'd been thinking about it for a while, and only said something because I recently suggested that a friend come to the site and search old answered questions for some guidance. If it were only open at the time I could see that, but when an OP leaves, the thread remains for visitors/guests to peruse for advice. I just hate that this scares them away. Does the moderator delete the unrelated messages at the end of a thread before closing it?

Again, the last thing I want to do is rain on anybody's parade, and I know that no one here is being paid. I don't mean to offend anyone or make light of the amount of time spent giving helpful answers.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by pinkey14

I am a really big fan of this forum, and the advice and collaboration offered by those who frequently post is invaluable. I'll even admit that I enjoy the humor thrown in.

I realize that my 2 cents means nothing and that I can go away. That said, I really thinks it's a shame that seniors and a few others are happy to hijack anyone ELSE'S thread with meaningless drivel that is irrelevant to the OP's question. It is disrespectful and unprofessional. It leads newcomers to believe that they can't be taken seriously or that their question is unimportant.

I'd like to suggest that if these conversations can't take place via private messaging, that something be added to the "sticky" for newbies to let them know not to take it personally when their thread is hijacked by a senior for his/her personal stand-up venue, but that hijacking is still "not allowed" unless perpetrated by someone in the inner circle.

Again, I'm just a single dad with no current questions today (and I, too, enjoy sarcasm and a good laugh), but find the two-faced behavior disheartening.

You'll not be wanting popcorn this evening I take it?

(yes, I'm being a twit - on purpose, k?)

In all seriousness you have made some valid points. As a good 95% of regulars here contribute to the "fun" at some point I doubt any of us really have any defense. But I would like to think that by far most of the "pointless" posts generally occur only in those threads where either the poster has shown quite clearly that s/he is not receptive to the advice given and has made up their mind regardless; and/or the thread has gone as far as it's ever going to go in terms of real world "usefulness"; and/or the poster themselves has perhaps added the initial levity. Sometimes it is, yes, misguided and misplaced. I for one cannot deny that.

Most of the regulars here will also be aware that some of the most repliable responders from times gone by no longer post. I know there are various reasons for this; personally I've had a good twenty or thirty PMs in the last two months from others commenting from both sides of the fence - they feel that either the responders are too strict and far too blunt with the advice (to the point of cruelty) and that's why they don't respond much unless it's to a "lighter" post....or, at the other end of the spectrum, they feel that the boards have become far more "social" than is perhaps appropriate and no longer serves the correct function.

The bluntness is appreciated by some, and despised by others.

The levity is appreciated by some, and despised by others.

Like with any Internet forum things inevitably change over time and, I think for the most part this happens because there a balance is being sought; more often than not a happy medium can, and will, be found. Eventually.

(and I've been around the 'Net awhile - my first email account was with the C-word ISP way back in 1995 which is probably like a century ago in Ninterweb time).

(ETA - that "20 or 30" was actually 53 messages commenting either on how it's better now because there seems to be more levity, and how it's much worse now because there's too much levity. I cannot count)

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by pinkey14

I do realize that, which is why I was really reluctant to say anything. I'd been thinking about it for a while, and only said something because I recently suggested that a friend come to the site and search old answered questions for some guidance. If it were only open at the time I could see that, but when an OP leaves, the thread remains for visitors/guests to peruse for advice. I just hate that this scares them away. Does the moderator delete the unrelated messages at the end of a thread before closing it?

Again, the last thing I want to do is rain on anybody's parade, and I know that no one here is being paid. I don't mean to offend anyone or make light of the amount of time spent giving helpful answers.

You haven't been offensive in the slightest. Please don't think that you have been, k?

[proud_parent]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

In all seriousness you have made some valid points. As a good 95% of regulars here contribute to the "fun" at some point I doubt any of us really have any defense. But I would like to think that by far most of the "pointless" posts generally occur only in those threads where either the poster has shown quite clearly that s/he is not receptive to the advice given and has made up their mind regardless; and/or the thread has gone as far as it's ever going to go in terms of real world "usefulness"; and/or the poster themselves has perhaps added the initial levity. Sometimes it is, yes, misguided and misplaced. I for one cannot deny that.

Agreed.

I would hope that those who use this site for research will conclude that this thread had run its course on Page 1. When OP established that she and Dad are still legally married and that neither of them has intiated any sort of family court proceedings, she was swiftly informed that she and her spouse have equal rights to their children under the law, until such time that a Court orders otherwise.

There honestly was not much more to be stated, whether for the sake of OP or for posterity, than that.

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

You are right...we really shouldn't hijack threads for trivia. It is disrespectful.

However, in our defense, I will say that the threads that get hijacked for trivia are generally only threads that are clearly dead otherwise, where its clear that the original poster is long gone and will not be back.

In addition, the moderator is pretty quick on the mark to close those threads not long after the hijack happens.

We also deal with a lot of really serious issues, all the time, and sometimes the levity is our only real way of keeping sane. We are all volunteers here and if we cannot let off a little steam now and then, we will crack.

too late! for me at least!

[pinkey14]

Well, thanks for the the responses. I do appreciate it and feel better. As a glimpse from the "outer circle" (and maybe I'm really weird) if I saw a thread had 5 pages, I'd be inclined to read the question and just skip to the end, assuming it had a complicated answer and would just as soon find it there rather than sift through 5 pages of BS. That said, if someone is desperately in search of an answer, it's not a huge undertaking to check the previous 4 pages in search of it if they see it's been hijacked for the last 3 pages.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by pinkey14

Well, thanks for the the responses. I do appreciate it and feel better. As a glimpse from the "outer circle" (and maybe I'm really weird) if I saw a thread had 5 pages, I'd be inclined to read the question and just skip to the end, assuming it had a complicated answer and would just as soon find it there rather than sift through 5 pages of BS. That said, if someone is desperately in search of an answer, it's not a huge undertaking to check the previous 4 pages in search of it if they see it's been hijacked for the last 3 pages.

I'll be honest - when I see a thread going for more than 2 pages I assume one of two things:

It's either...

A poster who just cannot or does not want to face the reality and truth of their situation and/or options, or...

Well, that's it really. Even now the vast majority of longer threads involve repeated back-and-forth points/counterpoints between the OP and responders than the frivolous stuff, y'know?

[Hisbabygirl77]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

I'll be honest - when I see a thread going for more than 2 pages I assume one of two things:

It's either...

A poster who just cannot or does not want to face the reality and truth of their situation and/or options, or...

Well, that's it really. Even now the vast majority of longer threads involve repeated back-and-forth points/counterpoints between the OP and responders than the frivolous stuff, y'know?

Well look at all the fun I missed. I would also like to add that the people who answer the questions are not just machines. While everyong gives legal advice (normally first and foremost) we are still people with emotions and its not generated computer legal answers. Part of us being people answering questions is the need to release tension and/or as others have stated put an end to a thread that has more than ran its course. I think you would find it very rare for an extra chit chatting to occur before the legal matter has been dealt with.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by Hisbabygirl77

Well look at all the fun I missed. I would also like to add that the people who answer the questions are not just machines. While everyong gives legal advice (normally first and foremost) we are still people with emotions and its not generated computer legal answers. Part of us being people answering questions is the need to release tension and/or as others have stated put an end to a thread that has more than ran its course. I think you would find it very rare for an extra chit chatting to occur before the legal matter has been dealt with.

Which is also a very valid point...

[pinkey14]

@Hisbabygirl:

I'm going to respond to your comment, and then I'm going to quit paying attention to the forum for a while. I'd like to point out that you are correct; OPs questions are almost always answered before the highjacking begins. And after being on the forum my first day, I caught on that there is little value in the last page. I was simply pointing out the possibility that another newcomer could make the same mistake.

I just gotta say, though... Of ALL of the regular posters to this forum, your advice always seems the least professional. Quite honestly, you appear to be grasping for the coattails of the actual attorneys on here; quick to criticize other OPs with the regurgitated advice of professionals while adding you own negative remarks, continuous praise of other seniors, and the FIRST to jump on the bandwagon with the highjacking. You seem to feel qualified based the fact that have an ex and five children, rather than any solid formal backing, or even the skills to formulate a paragraph with correct spelling, grammar, or syntax (yet you have the audacity to be everyone else's paragraph length police).

It just seems like a strange obsession for a mother of 5 children to keep herself so busy with a legal forum. The funny thing is, I really like OhioGal's advice, and she's extremely harsh... It just seems like you're doing it for much different reasons than she is, and without the stability of a legal background. Yes, I know this response will anger you. I also know that there are some very, very rational seniors here who feel this way and don't want to create conflict by telling you, just about all of the newbies, and some in-betweeners like me. Take it with a grain of salt.