"but this decision is based on the best interest of my daughter."
I'm sorry, but I have yet to see where this is in HER best interest. OK, her father and stepmother have no other children, and she's a teacher. And....??? What makes this in the best interest of your child? How is her going to a home with no other siblings and a stepmother who is a teacher in her best interests? Going by your own post, and your own words, your daughter has, and I quote.... "stolen money from church, knocked a tooth out of my dogs head, lied, stolen, cheated, and deliberately tried to break up my marriage. She is a danger to my other children and gets worse with every year. She has beaten animals and other children. She is in counseling, on medication, and has just gone through extensive psychiatric testing" and has "ADHD, OCD, ODD, anxiety and clinical depression." Going by your post, it seems as if you want to give her to her father because it's in YOUR best interest.
How in the hell can an 8 year old try to break up a marriage?? Who is the ADULT here? Perhaps, since my son has ADHD, anger management problems, has stolen money out of his dad's wallet, has kicked the dog, stepped on one of my cats and killed it, hit his younger sister in her broken arm, and cheated on his homework before, I should just disown him too..... No, I actually step up and BE the adult, correct him, and try to HELP him. Not just throw him away because he's "too much to handle". Christ lady, I'd LOVE to have my son with me everyday, and I don't CARE how much of a handful he is. I'm sorry you won't find what you're looking for on this board, but when a parent just wants to "give up" because the going gets rough, then we don't have any patience for that kind of thing. If you were a drug addict, homeless, mass murderer, in jail for God knows what, then we'd tell you yes, it IS in her best interest to go to her father. But have you ever stopped to think that maybe..... just maybe.... her antics have something to do with YOU, and the way she perceives your feelings about her? Perhaps you should BOTH go to counseling. Her for her mental problems, and you for your emotional ones.
You can't scare me.
I have children.