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Waiver of parental rights

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bondednotary

Guest
What is the name of your state? california

i have recently found out that i was pregnant. the father is not wanting to pay child support , this is not a problem for me. he told me he'd rather have joint custody and let his parents take care of the baby than pay support. i don't need or want his money and i really don't want joint custody!is there any way i can realease him from financial responsibility and have him sign a waiver of parental rights?..... or can i put unknown on the birth certifacate will that release him of responsiblility? please answer soon!
 


C

CATFISH/UT

Guest
IT IS POSSIBLE TO HAVE HIM SIGN A RELEASE OF PARENTAL RIGHTS. IT IS UNUSUAL BUT IT IS POSSIBLE. I WOULD LIKE TO SUGGEST THAT BOTH OF YOU DO SOME SERIOUS SOUL SEARCHING PRIOR TO AGREEING TO THIS AS A CHILD NEEDS A FATHER AND A MOTHER. WHAT FEELS RIGHT TODAY MAY BE A BIG MISTAKE DOWN THE ROAD. UNFORTUNATELY SOMETIMES WE MAKE BAD DECISIONS. I AM SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE.
 

CMSC

Senior Member
YOu can chose not to put him on the birth certificate but if you ever get state aide they will ask you who the father is and they will go after him. If he doesn't want to pay and you don't want him to pay then don't sue him for support! Just because he gives up his rights if the state ever goes after him then he will still have to pay support.

Like I said, if you receive no state aide and you don't want his money then don't file for support or put him on the birth certificate. If he ever wants to see his child it will be up to him to file for visitation.
 

dncr

Member
bondednotary, take care of this right away! Get him to sign off on his rights so that he has no legal claim to your child. The father of my child said he didn't want to have anything to do with us, then 8 years later decided that since his marriage was falling apart, he'd start being a "dad" to MY daughter that I'D raised for 8 YEARS!!! And believe it or not, he still has rights, because I didn't think to file for abandonment or have him sign away his rights a long time ago. I may not be able to have my husband adopt her because of this immature jerk. Catfish is right in that a child needs a mother and a father, but she needs a mother and father that love and want her and will take care of her...if the father can't (or won't) do that, right now and forever, get him out of your life while you still can.
 
ryry's mom said:
YOu can chose not to put him on the birth certificate but if you ever get state aide they will ask you who the father is and they will go after him. If he doesn't want to pay and you don't want him to pay then don't sue him for support! Just because he gives up his rights if the state ever goes after him then he will still have to pay support.

Like I said, if you receive no state aide and you don't want his money then don't file for support or put him on the birth certificate. If he ever wants to see his child it will be up to him to file for visitation.
Ah, but that doesn't keep him from years down the road showing up in court and insisting on his rights.
dncr said:

take care of this right away!
As to taking care of this right away, you will have to wait till after baby bondednotary is born to file anything.
 

dncr

Member
fried eggs said:


As to taking care of this right away, you will have to wait till after baby bondednotary is born to file anything.
Sorry, that's what I meant by "right away". :) There may be a free or low-cost family law service in your county that can help you with this--we had one in my county, I was just too dumb to use it at the time. Talk to them and get everything in order, and have him sign the paperwork as soon as humanly possible after the baby's born.

Oh, and good luck! :)
 

CMSC

Senior Member
fried eggs said:


Ah, but that doesn't keep him from years down the road showing up in court and insisting on his rights.
well, i never said it did, did I? He will have to file for visitation. Look people we are telling a girl who is pregnant to cut daddy out of the life before he has even been given a chance to see this beautiful life he has helped create. If after a year he wants nothing to do with baby and mom wants no support and the state wants no support then why not try to terminate his rights then?

Termination of rights does NOT termintate the childs right to be supported by two parents. He WILL have to pay support if he is proven to be dad and someone files whether or not he has "given" up his rights.

THis posters wants to release her babies father "fianancially" what if he is a good dad otherwise? should this baby grow up knowing that he did not want him before dad is given a chance to attempt to form a bond? I know he may not want to know and you all probably think that 9 months is long enough but I know first hand how a man can change his mind the second he sees the baby.
 
ryry's mom said:


Look people we are telling a girl who is pregnant to cut daddy out of the life before he has even been given a chance to see this beautiful life he has helped create.
I'm not TELLING her to do anything. She came on here and asked a question and outside of a couple of polite correcting comments, I haven't said anything to her in regards to my opinion of the subject. She didn't ask for my opinion and I don't feel strongly enough about my opinion on her life to give it at this time.

*sizzle*
 

CMSC

Senior Member
fried eggs, your right, my apologies. I did the one thing in my post that I hate when others do, I directed it towards everyone.
 

ellencee

Senior Member
et al

the one bit of advice that surpassed all others is the advice to wait and do nothing now. much can be gained by 'being still' and not adding more problems for the unwed mother, the unborn baby, and the unwed father. please, don't surrender another life, and another family, to the possession and control of the courts.
 

dncr

Member
I'm guessing ryry's mom was directing that at me. Maybe I'm biased because of the situation I'm going through, but I happen to have very little respect for "sperm donors" who don't give a &*^% about their children, deciding that it's solely the mother's responsibility, then trying to come back into the picture years later when the kid's forming a bond with someone who WILL be a father. I don't care who the DNA belongs to, it's the guy that will be there and act like a father that deserves the role. These deadbeat dads who flit in and out of their children's lives do much more harm than those who were never in it in the first place. I'd rather say to my kid "So-and-so is your father now, and he loves you very much. That Guy is your biological father, but he wasn't ready to be one, so he's not here. If you want to meet him when your xx years old, I'll tell you his name" than have That Guy be coming in and out of her life, reminding her every time that he doesn't really love her THAT much.

So, bondednotary, you can't do anything til the baby is born anyway, and by then you'll probably know what kind of father this guy is. If he's going to make some sort of commitment, fine, but if not, protect yourself and your child.
 

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