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  1. #1
    rueah is offline Junior Member
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    want primary custody

    Living in FLORIDA

    My ex lives with her fiance who has a history of domestic violence and violence against law enforcement. My children know how to roll "cigarettes" (she claims there is no drug use) There has been one domestic that I know of in front of my children ages 7 and 3. Both children have expressed that they want to live with me numerous times. She has agreed that they could live with me this following summer and has now changed her mind. I want to take her back to court to be primary, but have been told I will have a hard time because the kids are established with her, but it is not a good environment?
  2. #2
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Can you prove any of these allegations?

    You can absolutely petition for full custody, but you might have a battle on your hands if you can't prove why it's in the best interests of the children.

    And at their ages it is highly unlikely that their wishes will be considered.
  3. #3
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rueah View Post
    Living in FLORIDA

    My ex lives with her fiance who has a history of domestic violence and violence against law enforcement. My children know how to roll "cigarettes" (she claims there is no drug use) There has been one domestic that I know of in front of my children ages 7 and 3. Both children have expressed that they want to live with me numerous times. She has agreed that they could live with me this following summer and has now changed her mind. I want to take her back to court to be primary, but have been told I will have a hard time because the kids are established with her, but it is not a good environment?
    Lots of people roll their own cigarettes. Prove that it is anything else. And her fiance has a history? How has that been negative for the children? Have they seen any domestic violence against their mother or been victim of any? You really need proof of which you don't have much.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  4. #4
    Gracie3787 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rueah View Post
    Living in FLORIDA

    My ex lives with her fiance who has a history of domestic violence and violence against law enforcement. My children know how to roll "cigarettes" (she claims there is no drug use) There has been one domestic that I know of in front of my children ages 7 and 3. Both children have expressed that they want to live with me numerous times. She has agreed that they could live with me this following summer and has now changed her mind. I want to take her back to court to be primary, but have been told I will have a hard time because the kids are established with her, but it is not a good environment?
    Read chapter 61 at [url=http://www.flsenate.gov/STATUTES]Statutes & Constitution :View Statutes : flsenate.gov[/url]
  5. #5
    rueah is offline Junior Member
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    As far as proof, she has told me in the past that her fiance smoked pot (I guess she didn't think it was a big deal at the time) and as far as the domestic, she brought them straight to my house when it happened, but the kids witnessed the whole thing and it was physical as far as pushing each other and calling the kids names. Every time I have them they tell me how bad they want to live with me, they even tell their mother, but she says she needs the money and that is why she decided not to let the kids come live with me as agreed to. I love my children and want the best for them. I don't want to take them from their mother completely, I just want to be able to have primary residence.
  6. #6
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    but the kids witnessed the whole thing and it was physical as far as pushing each other and calling the kids names
    What did CPS say when you reported this incident?
  7. #7
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rueah View Post
    As far as proof, she has told me in the past that her fiance smoked pot (I guess she didn't think it was a big deal at the time) and as far as the domestic, she brought them straight to my house when it happened, but the kids witnessed the whole thing and it was physical as far as pushing each other and calling the kids names. Every time I have them they tell me how bad they want to live with me, they even tell their mother, but she says she needs the money and that is why she decided not to let the kids come live with me as agreed to. I love my children and want the best for them. I don't want to take them from their mother completely, I just want to be able to have primary residence.
    What she told you isn't proof.

    What did CPS say?
  8. #8
    rueah is offline Junior Member
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    At the time because she brought the kids to me CPS wasn't involved. I know, not smart on my part, I regret it more than you know now, but at the very moment it happened she wasn't going back to him and we thought it would be bad for the kids if we went that far. CPS was involved in a situation where she left our daughter home alone when we were in the preocess of our divorce, but that is it.
  9. #9
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    So there are no police reports, no CPS reports, nothing?

    Basically, no evidence whatsoever?

    Your kids are 3 and 7 - for the most part they don't know what they want to wear or eat from day to day, let alone where they want to live; can you honestly, seriously say that your 7 year old (because your 3 year old can't) truly grasps the concept of changing residences?

    I understand you want what's best for the kids, but you have more than an uphill battle to change primary residence in this situation.
  10. #10
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rueah View Post
    At the time because she brought the kids to me CPS wasn't involved. I know, not smart on my part, I regret it more than you know now, but at the very moment it happened she wasn't going back to him and we thought it would be bad for the kids if we went that far. CPS was involved in a situation where she left our daughter home alone when we were in the preocess of our divorce, but that is it.
    No. It wasn't smart. And how did your wife end up with Primary Custody after leaving the child home alone?

    Did your ex call the police when she had the altercation with her bf?
  11. #11
    rueah is offline Junior Member
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    The incident happened after our paperwork was submitted and we were waiting for our court date and basically at the time, i still wanted to be with her and gave into a lot.

    As far as her calling the police, she did not. When it happened she brought the kids straight to my house and was not going back to him and I just wanted things to be easy. She stayed with a friend and decided to go back to him a short time later.

    Through this process I have been getting advice from a friend that went through a custody battle and am now realizing that I prob never should have been listening to him.

    I know my kids are young, but every time I talk to them they tell me how much they miss me and want to live with me. My daughter tells me that they are rarely with their mother (at friends houses, with grandparents, etc.) They tell me when they are at home they have to go to their room when their mothers fiance gets home and can only come out to use the restroom. It just doesn't seem healthy. I was advised to have the kids talk to a child phsycologist when I have them for the summer, but I am not sure if that would do anything?
  12. #12
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rueah View Post
    The incident happened after our paperwork was submitted and we were waiting for our court date and basically at the time, i still wanted to be with her and gave into a lot.

    As far as her calling the police, she did not. When it happened she brought the kids straight to my house and was not going back to him and I just wanted things to be easy. She stayed with a friend and decided to go back to him a short time later.

    Through this process I have been getting advice from a friend that went through a custody battle and am now realizing that I prob never should have been listening to him.

    I know my kids are young, but every time I talk to them they tell me how much they miss me and want to live with me. My daughter tells me that they are rarely with their mother (at friends houses, with grandparents, etc.) They tell me when they are at home they have to go to their room when their mothers fiance gets home and can only come out to use the restroom. It just doesn't seem healthy. I was advised to have the kids talk to a child phsycologist when I have them for the summer, but I am not sure if that would do anything?
    Please don't take this the wrong way...But you really need to read some parenting books. Your children are, apparently, being emotionally abused and are exposed to domestic violence and you "aren't sure" if counseling would be helpful to them?? Why would you wait for summer vacation?? Send them now!!
  13. #13
    rueah is offline Junior Member
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    What I wrote I think was taken the wrong way. It is not that I don't think it would help the kids. I live 8 hours away, the only time I have them is summer and holidays. My biggest thing is I don't want to do something wrong and risk having no choice but to leave them in a bad situation. Before I decide to challenge this I want to make sure I won't put my kids through anything traumatic for no reason.
  14. #14
    LdiJ is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rueah View Post
    What I wrote I think was taken the wrong way. It is not that I don't think it would help the kids. I live 8 hours away, the only time I have them is summer and holidays. My biggest thing is I don't want to do something wrong and risk having no choice but to leave them in a bad situation. Before I decide to challenge this I want to make sure I won't put my kids through anything traumatic for no reason.
    The fact that you live 8 hours away is important information that should have been included in your first post.

    That makes your chances of proving anything even more difficult, and your odds of being able to change custody even slimmer. You would need hard, cold evidence that mom's home is unfit in order to both change custody AND move the children 8 hours away from mom.

    Who moved away? Have you considered moving to the same community as your children?

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