Want to switch daughter's school

[maneki]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CO
I'm not sure if this post should go here or in education. Please forgive me if I chose incorrectly.

For several reasons (that I've considered extensively) I want to switch the school my daughter goes to (she wants this too). She is currently in public school near me but I want to enroll her in online public school and get her active with local groups for socialization. The school is accredited by the state and is legally considered a PUBLIC school, not homeschool. State approved curriculum, attendance requirements, CSAP required, etc. Her father is NOT pleased about this. He sees online school as not being school and envisions her playing video games all day, alone. He and I have never seen eye to eye on many (almost all) subjects, education being a big one.

I know that if I wanted to remove her from public school and homeschool her I would have to have his consent since we have joint legal custody (I have primary physical custody currently). But since this isn't homeschooling and is just another public school do I still need his permission? If I were to move to the next town over (a different district) I'd have to enroll her in a different public school so is this considered the same since it's also a public school? I want to have all my ducks in a row before I see him tomorrow to discuss this more. I wholeheartedly believe this is the best choice for our daughter's education and emotional well being.

And please, I'd rather this thread not become a debate about homeschooling, public school, online school, etc. I'm just wondering about the legalities of changing her to a different school. Thanks.

 

[TheGeekess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CO
I'm not sure if this post should go here or in education. Please forgive me if I chose incorrectly.

For several reasons (that I've considered extensively) I want to switch the school my daughter goes to (she wants this too). She is currently in public school near me but I want to enroll her in online public school and get her active with local groups for socialization. The school is accredited by the state and is legally considered a PUBLIC school, not homeschool. State approved curriculum, attendance requirements, CSAP required, etc. Her father is NOT pleased about this. He sees online school as not being school and envisions her playing video games all day, alone. He and I have never seen eye to eye on many (almost all) subjects, education being a big one.

I know that if I wanted to remove her from public school and homeschool her I would have to have his consent since we have joint legal custody (I have primary physical custody currently). But since this isn't homeschooling and is just another public school do I still need his permission? If I were to move to the next town over (a different district) I'd have to enroll her in a different public school so is this considered the same since it's also a public school? I want to have all my ducks in a row before I see him tomorrow to discuss this more. I wholeheartedly believe this is the best choice for our daughter's education and emotional well being.

And please, I'd rather this thread not become a debate about homeschooling, public school, online school, etc. I'm just wondering about the legalities of changing her to a different school. Thanks.

You have to have Dad's okay to change schools, no matter if it's homeschool, online school, the school in the next district.

 

[maneki]

Really? So even if I moved a few streets down (we're on the edge of the school cutoff zone) I'd have to have his permission before enrolling her in the school for our area? Well that just doesn't make sense at all, but okay. And if he won't give permission, is there a way to petition the courts to allow this? Also, in the future when he doesn't ask for my permission about changes (which already happened last year) is there a way to take him to the courts about that too? I guess I'm just frustrated because he seems to think that while he has the kids he's allowed to do whatever he wants without even running it by me until after the fact but I can't even put my daughter into a better school for her. *sigh*

 

[I'mTheFather]

Really? So even if I moved a few streets down (we're on the edge of the school cutoff zone) I'd have to have his permission before enrolling her in the school for our area? Well that just doesn't make sense at all, but okay. And if he won't give permission, is there a way to petition the courts to allow this? Also, in the future when he doesn't ask for my permission about changes (which already happened last year) is there a way to take him to the courts about that too? I guess I'm just frustrated because he seems to think that while he has the kids he's allowed to do whatever he wants without even running it by me until after the fact but I can't even put my daughter into a better school for her. *sigh*

You may have to have his permission to move a few streets down if it results in a school change. I don't feel like checking that for a "what if".

If you can't agree, then you can take it to court. If he's making changes that require both parents' agreement, you can take it to court.

When he has the kids, he can do whatever he wants as long as it doesn't create a risk of harm, and as long as it doesn''t infringe on your legal rights.

 

[maneki]

What determines infringement on legal rights? He moved over an hour away without any consult with me which means during the years he has the girls they have to go to school out there but I wasn't given any chance to disagree with that. I thought that unless one of us was moving out of state that we had no say on where the other one lived. Is that not correct? If he wants to move again can I say no? I think I'm getting more confused now. I feel like he's been walking all over me with regards to the kids and because I wanted to make sure I did things right now he's shutting me down.

 

[I'mTheFather]

You'll have to explain your custody situation and your order if you want more advice. With the limited information you've provided, you've received the answers to your initial questions.

 

[maneki]

Fair enough, and I thank everyone for the answers given so far.

I'm sure you don't want a full and complete run down of the entire divorce decree so I'll try to sum up the parts that, I think, are relevant to my further questions.

My ex and I have two children together (I also have one older child but she wasn't a part of any of this and is now 18 anyway). The court decreed that we would flip flop physical custody every year. Last year he had the girls during the school week and I had them on the weekends. This year is the opposite so they are enrolled in the school near me. According to the parenting plan it is marked that we make major decisions jointly. Major decisions are listed as educational, medical/dental/mental health, religious, and extracurricular activities. It also lists that each parent is required to respond to a call or text within 1 hour, during the hours of 9am-10pm, and emergency calls must be responded to within 1 hour regardless of time of day.Under Extraordinary Expenses it lists that the father will pay for one extracurricular activity for each child, each year. The activity to be agreed upon jointly. It also states the father will maintain health insurance on the children each year.

So far the following has occurred:
1. Last year there was only one school our older child could attend in the town where my ex lives but there was more than one preschool option. He didn't consult me as to where she went and when I voiced concern over his choice he said his year, his rules, and refused to discuss it further with me. Since I thought educational decisions referred to things like withdrawing from school to homeschool, or if a kid got expelled, you know... big things. It still pissed me off though.

2. Put them into activities without consulting me as to what they were or whether or not they would interfere with my time on the weekends. Which they did. I ended up losing several weekends because my girls had games both days.

3. Put them into a weekly bible study group without consulting me.

4. Until last April, when he remarried, he did not have insurance for the girls. So I got it for them. Not a big deal, I wasn't going to fight that one since it didn't cost me more and it would have been expensive for him through his new job. Here's the thing though... I shared the insurance information with him so he could take the girls to the doctors out there. When we flip flopped the physical custody he wouldn't share all their new insurance info with me. Because of that I've been fighting him to call the doctors directly to give them the info. My daughter recently missed a very needed dentist appointment because he kept putting off calling them until it was finally the day of the appointment and too late, I had to reschedule.

5. He often ignores texts from me for hours (if he responds at all) and never will answer the phone when I call.

6. He is refusing to pay for the extracurricular activity this year, says it's my responsibility, even though it clearly states it isn't.

I'm trying really hard to be civil with him and to do what the courts told us to do, which is why I was checking about switching my daughter's school instead of just doing it. Gotta admit though, it's getting hard to play nice. *sigh* Gotta maintain a good face for the kids though.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Fair enough, and I thank everyone for the answers given so far.

I'm sure you don't want a full and complete run down of the entire divorce decree so I'll try to sum up the parts that, I think, are relevant to my further questions.

My ex and I have two children together (I also have one older child but she wasn't a part of any of this and is now 18 anyway). The court decreed that we would flip flop physical custody every year. Last year he had the girls during the school week and I had them on the weekends. This year is the opposite so they are enrolled in the school near me. According to the parenting plan it is marked that we make major decisions jointly. Major decisions are listed as educational, medical/dental/mental health, religious, and extracurricular activities. It also lists that each parent is required to respond to a call or text within 1 hour, during the hours of 9am-10pm, and emergency calls must be responded to within 1 hour regardless of time of day.Under Extraordinary Expenses it lists that the father will pay for one extracurricular activity for each child, each year. The activity to be agreed upon jointly. It also states the father will maintain health insurance on the children each year.

So far the following has occurred:
1. Last year there was only one school our older child could attend in the town where my ex lives but there was more than one preschool option. He didn't consult me as to where she went and when I voiced concern over his choice he said his year, his rules, and refused to discuss it further with me. Since I thought educational decisions referred to things like withdrawing from school to homeschool, or if a kid got expelled, you know... big things. It still pissed me off though.

Preschool is not a required. It shouldn't be an issue. What concerns did you have about his choice?

2. Put them into activities without consulting me as to what they were or whether or not they would interfere with my time on the weekends. Which they did. I ended up losing several weekends because my girls had games both days.

You could have exercised your visitation regardless of their games.

3. Put them into a weekly bible study group without consulting me.

Is the weekly bible study wildly different from your religious practices?

4. Until last April, when he remarried, he did not have insurance for the girls. So I got it for them. Not a big deal, I wasn't going to fight that one since it didn't cost me more and it would have been expensive for him through his new job. Here's the thing though... I shared the insurance information with him so he could take the girls to the doctors out there. When we flip flopped the physical custody he wouldn't share all their new insurance info with me. Because of that I've been fighting him to call the doctors directly to give them the info. My daughter recently missed a very needed dentist appointment because he kept putting off calling them until it was finally the day of the appointment and too late, I had to reschedule.

Is he providing the insurance now? That is unclear. If he is, and isn't providing the insurance info, take it back to court.

5. He often ignores texts from me for hours (if he responds at all) and never will answer the phone when I call.

You can take this back to court too. I wouldn't expect much though.

6. He is refusing to pay for the extracurricular activity this year, says it's my responsibility, even though it clearly states it isn't.

Back to court.

I'm trying really hard to be civil with him and to do what the courts told us to do, which is why I was checking about switching my daughter's school instead of just doing it. Gotta admit though, it's getting hard to play nice. *sigh* Gotta maintain a good face for the kids though.

Changing to an online school is hugely different from simply changing schools.

 

[maneki]

1. My concern with the preschool is it was just a daycare even though the elementary school offered actual preschool. They didn't actually teach anything and then when I enrolled her in kindergarten this year and she was tested she was WAY behind the expected level for entering kindergarten.

2. Yes, I could have exercised my visitation rights but I didn't feel that would be fair to the girls who wanted to play in their soccer games. They shouldn't have to suffer because their father didn't run it past me and consider the visitation before entering them in that activity, which was supposed to be agreed upon by us both.

3. The bible study is VERY different. I am pagan. My ex knows this. He's not christian either but his new wife is. When we were first divorcing we both agreed to not do anything religious with the girls without discussing it with the other first.

4. He does have insurance now but he refuses to give me all the required info so I can take them to the doctors.

For the points I can go back to court on, is there a particular motion I file?

As for online school being vastly different than just changing schools, I do disagree with that assessment. It's a state accredited public school with a state approved curriculum. She'd be learning the same things as if she was still in her current school. But that's neither here nor there, apparently.

 

[Zigner]

As for online school being vastly different than just changing schools, I do disagree with that assessment. It's a state accredited public school with a state approved curriculum. She'd be learning the same things as if she was still in her current school. But that's neither here nor there, apparently.

Since you're obviously not going to understand that changing from a public school to an online school is a major decision, let's just put it this way: Changing schools purely for convenience, or based purely on your desire, will require his consent.

 

[maneki]

I understand, I just don't agree that changing from one public school to another public school should be considered a major decision. And I wouldn't say this change is for convenience or just my desire, but it's not a forced change, that's true (such as in the case of expulsion or something where she HAD to change). So yes, I understand, I just don't agree. It's irrelevant if I agree though. If it's legally considered a major decision then that's that.

 

[Zigner]

I understand, I just don't agree that changing from one public school to another public school should be considered a major decision. And I wouldn't say this change is for convenience or just my desire, but it's not a forced change, that's true (such as in the case of expulsion or something where she HAD to change). So yes, I understand, I just don't agree. It's irrelevant if I agree though. If it's legally considered a major decision then that's that.

You are playing word-games. You are changing the TYPE of school. Your focus on the "public school" aspect is meaningless.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

When you divorced, did you and your X live in the same school district so that, regardless of which parent the children were with it wouldn't impact their schooling? This is a biggie here.

 

[maneki]

No. When we filled for divorce we were in the same district but by the time it was finalized he had moved away.

 

[stealth2]

I don't understand why you think Dad should NOT have a say in how his (also) child is educated. Why is this change necessary? Good? Favorable?