We Told You So **************just Say It !!

[mamadi]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

Alright all together now -- I TOLD YOU SO

Not that I ever thought any of you were wrong. I just still can't believe a person can "get away" with so much in a short period of time . And her taking the chllden from the church - yes legally - was just another manipulative scheme in a list of many.

Dad can pick up the kids on Saturday August 11th at 12:00pm. From then on mom has to give 30 days notice as to whether or not she will exercise her visitation each month (one weekend a month). As per the old papers that she is choosing to go by.

The lawyer said he could take it to court but all she would get would be a slap on the wrist. Like I said in the earlier thread, that's how it always goes. What is up with that ???

So, anyone have any suggestions as to a reasonable visitation schedule for an NCP whose work schedule varies from week to week ?

Should dad take this to court now and bring up the many other lies, schemes, that have happened in the past couple of years ? Or should dad wait a while then take it to court once the therapist has enough documentation to take to court showing how mom's manipulative ways are affecting the children ?

[Zephyr]

30 days notice???? what happens if she doesn't get her work shedule but 2 weeks in advance? will that be cause to deny the kids time with mom?

[Zephyr]

Originally Posted by mamadi

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

Alright all together now -- I TOLD YOU SO

Not that I ever thought any of you were wrong. I just still can't believe a person can "get away" with so much in a short period of time . And her taking the chllden from the church - yes legally - was just another manipulative scheme in a list of many.

Dad can pick up the kids on Saturday August 11th at 12:00pm. From then on mom has to give 30 days notice as to whether or not she will exercise her visitation each month (one weekend a month). As per the old papers that she is choosing to go by.

The lawyer said he could take it to court but all she would get would be a slap on the wrist. Like I said in the earlier thread, that's how it always goes. What is up with that ???

So, anyone have any suggestions as to a reasonable visitation schedule for an NCP whose work schedule varies from week to week ?

Should dad take this to court now and bring up the many other lies, schemes, that have happened in the past couple of years ? Or should dad wait a while then take it to court once the therapist has enough documentation to take to court showing how mom's manipulative ways are affecting the children ?

and why 30 days????


and what is the "we told you so" I don't get it

[mamadi]

The 30 days is what is stated in the custody papers that mom is choosing to go by at this time. You missed the fun today. You will have to look back at the thread that was closed. I think it was entitled "mom took kids from church --" something like that.

[CJane]

Originally Posted by Zephyr

and why 30 days????


and what is the "we told you so" I don't get it

You need to read OP's other (locked) thread.

OP ~ Here's the deal... as CP, it'd dad's job to facilitate visitation. He can choose to enforce the 30 days notice, and when MOM files for a modification, stating that he's ignoring the status quo and that her work schedule doesn't allow a 30 day notification period, and that dad KNOWS that, HE is going to look bad. NOT HER.

Being the CP isn't all sunshine and roses. It involves a hell of a lot of sucking it up and picking up slack.

Dad needs to modify the order. And if the parents live close enough together, then I think a 50/50 plan would be 'fair'. I'm 100% positive though, that YOU do not.

[mommyof4]

What kind of job puts a schedule out 30 days in advance...especially a job that changes week to week?

You should just bank on the fact that the weekend visitation will happen. The notice needs to be for extended visitation so that you can make plans during a two month period without worrying about whether or not you will be able to follow through.

Zephyr, the "I told you so" is from the other loooooooong thread where she just couldn't get over the fact that the mother took the children (from the church, no less) during her visitation time with no prior notice. It was not a good way to handle visitation, but not illegal, either. She kept confusing morally correct with legally correct.

[mamadi]

Back to the question -

Should take this current matter, as well as past matters, to court ? How many times can (or should) a CP suck it up ?

[mamadi]

I meant should "dad" -- left out a word

[mommyof4]

For the last time....YES! If he wants the order changed to be more reasonable visitation and have a workable clause about visitation time notification, it needs to be modified in court. How many times do you need to hear it? You had 6 pages of the same phrase on your other thread.

The past incidents really aren't going to matter. He was 50% responsible for past actions. The focus should be on the fact that she is now back in NC and visitation should be adjusted to a more reasonable schedule to accomodate that change.

[Shay-Pari'e]

This is getting old. Tell Hubby to to WHATEVER HE WANTS!

[CJane]

Originally Posted by mamadi

Back to the question -

Should take this current matter, as well as past matters, to court ? How many times can (or should) a CP suck it up ?

It really depends on what "past matters" you're talking about, how long ago they happened, etc.

The order NEEDS modified. It would be in everyone's best interest to modify it since Mom is in the area again. That alone is a 'change in circumstance' that would justify a modification.

Here's the deal though... mom could EASILY walk into court right now and say "I was exercising my summer visitation period, just like it says I can in the order - I even shared the time with their father - and they sent the cops to my home and tried to remove the children! They LIED and said that I KIDNAPPED them! It was terrible. Everyone was seriously scared and traumatized."

[Shay-Pari'e]

CJ, why did you have to go and do that? Now this thread will grow into the size of China.

[CJane]

Originally Posted by Shay-Pari'e

CJ, why did you have to go and do that? Now this thread will grow into the size of China.

Sorry. That's what y'all get when I'm bored and my kids are with their ESM.

[jbowman]

mamadi, you have been given the info a million times. Would you mind closing this thread?

[Zigner]

Methinks it's time for step-mom to butt out.