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Thread: Weak Grounds for Emergency Custody?

  1. #1
    Shears is offline Member
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    Weak Grounds for Emergency Custody?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? GA

    Georgia

    I have a 7 yr. old son. My ex-wife has primary physical custoday, and we have joint legal custody. We have been divorced for 6 years.

    I filed for custody modification in 2008, on the grounds that a) ex had roommates in the house that she did not disclose to me, and b) ex decided to change our son's school to a *very* low performance school in GA (because she had decided to quit working to go to college, and intended to ask for increased 'child support' to accomplish this; and in doing so would lose her discount at our son's private school). The case went horribly - the judge applauded her decision to go to school, which would have been honorable for most people, I agree, but I know my ex-wife and how she operates. The judge also increased my child support by $400/month to pay for our son's private school, since up to that point he had been doing well in school according to all documentation. **None of this was recorded - i.e., none of the 'reasons' were documented in the order, and the trial wasn't audio-recorded. Additionally, my ex was awarded attorney's fees of $16k.

    My ex kicked the roommate out in time for the trial, and moved herself and our son into a self-described slum. She was in college for one quarter, during the trial. One month after the trial ended, she quit school (**never to return). Then, in the summer of the 2009, she moved onto her parents' house for 3 months (I was hopeful this would be more permanent, as it's better than any other path she'd chosen so far). In the fall of 2009, though, she moved into a house with yet another roommate (this time, the roommate had an infant son, with whom our son was made to share a bedroom). She flowered her email notification of this fact with an 'assurance' to me of what a great 'long-term family-like' situation she was providing him). She withdrew our son from his private school, and put him in a public school for that school year. As all of this happened, I was terrified to try to take her to court again (you have no idea how horribly the judge reprimanded me the first time for my 'overly serious' concerns, and lack of patience and understanding for how my ex was trying to better her future). At that point I couldn't afford an attorney (and will not ever be able to in the foreseeable future), which is fine - I'm willing to go pro se and have the judge hate me for my legal ignorance. But I'm not prepared to be tacked with her attorney's fees AGAIN - it's just not an option - I'm STILL paying off the first round of my and her fees. Additionally, since none of the original reasons for the disposition were documented, my odds of getting anywhere with this judge were slim. The only recourse I got at that point with her was an agreement to decrease the child support amount by $300, and I only got that far with her by filing a petition - that was the only way to get her to willingly start talking to me outside of court.

    In the 2009-2010 year at this new public school, our son has had a lot of behavior problems. There was an indication of ADD from the school (they wouldn't state it verbatim, as I understand it's illegal in GA for the teacher to do so, but they started a behavior file on him and indicated all the 'issues' [i.e., ADD symptoms]). At that point, in order to address, we needed to fill out forms from the doctor; the forms needed to be completed by my ex, the school, and me. The end result according to my ex was that his pediatrician saw no evidence of ADD.

    As the months went by, his behavior was worse and worse at school. His academic performance is above average (for now), but his behavior stinks. I finally called a conference with the school counselor and teacher in May 2010 and notified my ex of the meeting if she cared to attend. I also emailed the pediatrician and requested a copy of the forms filled out in March 2010. *They had no forms*. It turns out my ex never filled anything out, never sent anything to the school to fill out, and threw my completed form away. I took matters into my own hands and started making the doctor's appointments to address our son's issues. It turns out he is textbook inattentive ADD, and also has Oppositional Defiant Disorder (Conduct Disorder).

    Our son resumed the 2010 school year at this same public school. Things have been better with the ADD now that I have forced acknowledgment and treatment. However there is no improvement in the comorbid behavior, as, to-date, he has not started needed counseling (we are having to modify his insurance plan in order to include mental health benefits).

    And now, yesterday, I received an email from my ex that she is moving AGAIN, and changing our son's school, AGAIN. In two weeks. This was not a 'discussion', but a notification of her decision. This is where I wonder just what in the hell "joing legal custody" means??

    I have responded to her email offering to take custody immediately, putting our son in school in my school district (where the public school is the 2nd highest performing in GA), and giving her $400/month for a year in the meantime to help her 'transition' and get her life in order. I have been married for over a year now, and together with my wife for almost 5 years. My wife has owned her home for 10 years, I have lived there for 3, and during that time my son has had his own bedroom; we have had no roommates. We're about as stable as it gets, and in a wonderful school district. Additionally, we are fully prepared to get him the medical attention he clearly needs.

    So finally, for my questions...

    I'm ready to take her to court again, fear of attorney's fees and all. I cannot retain an attorney myself - I will have to do this pro se.

    I *really* want to file for emergency custody, for my son's benefit. There's no question he's changing schools again in 2 weeks. In a perfect world, I would win the 'normal' custody modification, and he will come to school here. But that's yet another change for him if I wait for the normal process, and it's killing me to keep watching this unfold and wait for the slow legal process. I feel strongly that if he's going to change schools, it should be one more time, and then enough already.

    In an imperfect and realistic world, I am about to face an uphill battle with this judge, who is more sympathetic for some reason to my ex than to our son and his needs. I'm praying she'll wake up and see the truth this time. But, based on past experience, am I a fool to even think about an emergency hearing for this? Does this type of instability warrant an emergency custody change, or is that type of change only reserved for bodily harm/physical threat/violence issues?
  2. #2
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Doesn't sound like grounds for an emergency hearing.

    It would help, though, if you could:
    a. Just post the relevant information without all the rambling
    and
    b. Post factual, consistent information. Yours is quite inconsistent. For example, you posted the following (in order):
    "ex decided to change our son's school to a *very* low performance school"
    "The judge also increased my child support by $400/month to pay for our son's private school"
    "In the 2009-2010 year at this new public school"

    If you can't even explain where the kid goes to school, how is the rest of it supposed to make any sense?

    Frankly, I'm not surprised that your judge was peeved - if you came across in court anywhere close to the way you come across here, I'd be peeved, too. State your case in simple, factual terms, citing ONLY the things that are relevant to the child custody/support issues and ONLY those things you can prove.

    In the end, your best bet is probably a GAL, although I'm not sure you have sufficient evidence to show that it's needed. Almost everything you've cited is a legitimate parenting decision.
  3. #3
    TheGeekess is offline Senior Member
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    Since I'm not wading through that huge post, I will give you this much help.

    Self-help legal resources

    For those who want to consider filing an action in court on their own, below is a list of resources. These sites have forms and instructions, which include forms for legitimation and visitation.

    [url=http://www.fultonfamilydivision.com]Fulton County Family Court - Home - Family Court[/url] This is the site of the Fulton County Superior Court Family Division's Family Law Information Center. Any resident of the State of Georgia can visit the center in person at its location. The address is 185 Central Avenue, Atlanta, Ga. 30303. The phone is 404-335-2789. One can receive a free, brief legal consultation with an attorney by calling and making an appointment. However, a non-custodial parent must follow the guidelines of the county with legal jurisdiction over his/her particular legal issues.

    [url=http://www.co.dekalb.ga.us/dekalbflic]DeKalb County Police Department[/url] This is the site of DeKalb County Superior Court's Family Law Information Center. Any DeKalb resident or person with a family law issue related to DeKalb County can visit the center at its location at 120 West Trinity Place, Decatur, Ga. 30030. The phone is 404-687-3990. Brief, legal consultations with an attorney are available for $10 by calling and making an appointment.

    [url=http://sca.cobbcountyga.gov/familylaw_workshop.htm]Cobb County Government[/url] This is the site of the Cobb County Superior Court Family Law Workshop. Any Cobb resident or person with a family law issue related to Cobb County can visit the center at 30 Waddell Street, Marietta, Ga. 30090. The phone is 770-528-1812. The workshop is free of charge and provides answers to basic questions about divorce, paternity/legitimation, contempt, and modification cases.

    [url]http://production.albany.ga.us/law_library/LL_forms_family_law.htm[/url] This is the site of the Dougherty County Superior Court Law Library. Any Dougherty resident or person with a family law issue related to Dougherty County can visit the center at its location at 225 Pine Avenue, Room 212, Albany, Ga. 31702. The phone is 229-431-2133. The library manager, who is an attorney, is available to provide assistance with conducting research, finding appropriate materials and possible legal resources, suggesting self-help resources, and answering legal reference questions in person or by e-mail. However, the library manager is not permitted to give legal advice or interpret specific legal situations.

    [url=http://www.hallcounty.org/judicial/jud_FLIC&GAL.asp]Northeastern Judicial Circuit Family Law Information Center and Guardian ad Litem Program - Hall County, Georgia[/url] This is the site of the Hall and Dawson County Superior Court Family Law Information Center. Any Hall or Dawson resident or person with a family law issue related to Hall or Dawson Counties can visit the center at its location at 225 Green Street, S.E., Gainesville, Ga. 30501. The phone is 770-531-2463. Brief, legal consultations with an attorney are available at no cost in Dawson County. However, a financial qualification is required for attorney consultations in Hall County.

    [url=http://www.appfamilylawcenter.org/]Appalachian Family Law Information Center[/url] This is the site of the Appalachian Family Law Information Center serving Fannin, Gilmer, and Pickens counties. Any Fannin, Gilmer or Pickens resident or person with a family law issue related to these counties can visit the center at its location at 1 Broad Street, Suite 102 A, Ellijay, Ga. 30540. The phone is 706-299-1444. Brief, legal consultations with an attorney are available by appointment for income-qualified individuals.

    [url=http://www.LegalAid-Ga.org]LegalAid-GA.org | A guide to free and low-cost legal aid, assistance and services in Georgia[/url] This site is a project of the Atlanta Legal Aid Society, the Georgia Legal Services Program and the Pro Bono Project of the State Bar of Georgia. It is a guide to free legal information and services including the topics of legitimation, visitation, and custody.

    A list of the Georgia Superior Court Clerks for every county is on this web site: [url=http://www.gsccca.org]GSCCCA.org - Georgia Superior Court Clerks' Cooperative Authority[/url].

    [url=http://tinyurl.com/2ue6rdk]Error Page[/url]


    Child Support guidelines/calculators here: [url=http://tinyurl.com/2fan2sw]Error Page[/url]
  4. #4
    Shears is offline Member
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    I do apologize for the rambling. It's very hard to separate what matters legally and what matters morally, ethically, and emotionally when you're talking about your own child.

    I appreciate all the resources you've posted. I've been researching for hours trying answer these things on my own, and hoped posting here would help in that endeavor.

    As far as the factual, consistent info, even with all the emotions, the facts are exactly as I stated above.
    1. The ex decided to change our son's school to a *very* low performance school; ....the change never took place because the judge stopped it
    2. The judge also increased my child support by $400/month to pay for our son's private school; ...yes, that's what the judge did to stop #1
    3. In the 2009-2010 year at this new public school; ...yes, that's what the ex decided to do after the one year (2008-2009) of the private school (the private school for which the permanently increased child support was ordered) - she thought she'd pocket that money and stick him in a public school anyway

    The reason it's hard to follow, IMO, is that in addition to my emotional extra verbiage, the ex is about to make her 4th move since 2008 court; and 3rd school for our son. I'm glad you see how chaotic and disorderly it reads - because it IS.
  5. #5
    acmb05 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shears View Post
    I do apologize for the rambling. It's very hard to separate what matters legally and what matters morally, ethically, and emotionally when you're talking about your own child.
    We know it is but it makes it very hard to understand exactly what you are looking for.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shears View Post
    I appreciate all the resources you've posted. I've been researching for hours trying answer these things on my own, and hoped posting here would help in that endeavor.
    Read, read, read, if you are going to do this pro se you will need all the knowledge you can get.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shears View Post
    As far as the factual, consistent info, even with all the emotions, the facts are exactly as I stated above.
    1. The ex decided to change our son's school to a *very* low performance school; ....the change never took place because the judge stopped it
    2. The judge also increased my child support by $400/month to pay for our son's private school; ...yes, that's what the judge did to stop #1
    3. In the 2009-2010 year at this new public school; ...yes, that's what the ex decided to do after the one year (2008-2009) of the private school (the private school for which the permanently increased child support was ordered) - she thought she'd pocket that money and stick him in a public school anyway
    I would ask ask that it be modified again. I would also ask that I be reimbursed the extra that was intended for private school since the mother took the child out and that was the reason it went up in the first place. It probably won't happen but I would ask anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shears View Post
    The reason it's hard to follow, IMO, is that in addition to my emotional extra verbiage, the ex is about to make her 4th move since 2008 court; and 3rd school for our son. I'm glad you see how chaotic and disorderly it reads - because it IS.
    Still you need to stick to facts that legally matter, try to keep the emotional stuff out.
  6. #6
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shears View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? GA

    Georgia

    I have a 7 yr. old son. My ex-wife has primary physical custoday, and we have joint legal custody. We have been divorced for 6 years.

    I filed for custody modification in 2008, on the grounds that a) ex had roommates in the house that she did not disclose to me, and b) ex decided to change our son's school to a *very* low performance school in GA (because she had decided to quit working to go to college, and intended to ask for increased 'child support' to accomplish this; and in doing so would lose her discount at our son's private school). The case went horribly - the judge applauded her decision to go to school, which would have been honorable for most people, I agree, but I know my ex-wife and how she operates. The judge also increased my child support by $400/month to pay for our son's private school, since up to that point he had been doing well in school according to all documentation. **None of this was recorded - i.e., none of the 'reasons' were documented in the order, and the trial wasn't audio-recorded. Additionally, my ex was awarded attorney's fees of $16k.
    I am honestly not surprised that you lost the modification and had to pay mom's attorney fees.

    It was totally inappropriate for you to even OBJECT to mom having roommates (unless you knew for certain and could prove it, that they were a danger to your children), let alone complain about her not disclosing that to you.

    My ex kicked the roommate out in time for the trial, and moved herself and our son into a self-described slum. She was in college for one quarter, during the trial. One month after the trial ended, she quit school (**never to return).
    Well, dad, you raised a stink about roommates, so mom moved into what she could afford on her own.

    Then, in the summer of the 2009, she moved onto her parents' house for 3 months (I was hopeful this would be more permanent, as it's better than any other path she'd chosen so far).
    Obviously a temporary move on her part so that she could save up money for better living accommodations.

    [/quote]In the fall of 2009, though, she moved into a house with yet another roommate (this time, the roommate had an infant son, with whom our son was made to share a bedroom). She flowered her email notification of this fact with an 'assurance' to me of what a great 'long-term family-like' situation she was providing him). She withdrew our son from his private school, and put him in a public school for that school year.[/quote]

    Nothing wrong with any of that, except that you should have been consulted on the move to public school and perhaps given the option to continue the private school at solely your cost if mom could no longer afford it.

    As all of this happened, I was terrified to try to take her to court again (you have no idea how horribly the judge reprimanded me the first time for my 'overly serious' concerns, and lack of patience and understanding for how my ex was trying to better her future). At that point I couldn't afford an attorney (and will not ever be able to in the foreseeable future), which is fine - I'm willing to go pro se and have the judge hate me for my legal ignorance. But I'm not prepared to be tacked with her attorney's fees AGAIN - it's just not an option - I'm STILL paying off the first round of my and her fees. Additionally, since none of the original reasons for the disposition were documented, my odds of getting anywhere with this judge were slim. The only recourse I got at that point with her was an agreement to decrease the child support amount by $300, and I only got that far with her by filing a petition - that was the only way to get her to willingly start talking to me outside of court.
    Dad, even if you file pro se, if the judge feels that you are overreacting or don't have a valid change in circumstance you could get hit with mom's legal fees again.

    In the 2009-2010 year at this new public school, our son has had a lot of behavior problems. There was an indication of ADD from the school (they wouldn't state it verbatim, as I understand it's illegal in GA for the teacher to do so, but they started a behavior file on him and indicated all the 'issues' [i.e., ADD symptoms]). At that point, in order to address, we needed to fill out forms from the doctor; the forms needed to be completed by my ex, the school, and me. The end result according to my ex was that his pediatrician saw no evidence of ADD.

    As the months went by, his behavior was worse and worse at school. His academic performance is above average (for now), but his behavior stinks. I finally called a conference with the school counselor and teacher in May 2010 and notified my ex of the meeting if she cared to attend. I also emailed the pediatrician and requested a copy of the forms filled out in March 2010. *They had no forms*. It turns out my ex never filled anything out, never sent anything to the school to fill out, and threw my completed form away. I took matters into my own hands and started making the doctor's appointments to address our son's issues. It turns out he is textbook inattentive ADD, and also has Oppositional Defiant Disorder (Conduct Disorder).
    That wasn't well done on mom's behalf, but your son is only 7 NOW, so that was a bit young to assume that he needed to be diagnosed.

    Our son resumed the 2010 school year at this same public school. Things have been better with the ADD now that I have forced acknowledgment and treatment. However there is no improvement in the comorbid behavior, as, to-date, he has not started needed counseling (we are having to modify his insurance plan in order to include mental health benefits).
    If treatment for ADD isn't helping with his behavior, then I don't understand what is "better".

    And now, yesterday, I received an email from my ex that she is moving AGAIN, and changing our son's school, AGAIN. In two weeks. This was not a 'discussion', but a notification of her decision. This is where I wonder just what in the hell "joing legal custody" means??
    Joint legal custody does not mean that you get to decide where mom lives, and therefore what public school the child attends.

    I have responded to her email offering to take custody immediately, putting our son in school in my school district (where the public school is the 2nd highest performing in GA), and giving her $400/month for a year in the meantime to help her 'transition' and get her life in order. I have been married for over a year now, and together with my wife for almost 5 years. My wife has owned her home for 10 years, I have lived there for 3, and during that time my son has had his own bedroom; we have had no roommates. We're about as stable as it gets, and in a wonderful school district. Additionally, we are fully prepared to get him the medical attention he clearly needs.
    Dad, of course mom wasn't going to agree to just hand over custody to you. Its irrelevant that you are married, its irrelevant how long you have been with your wife, its irrelevant how long your wife has owned her home, its irrelevant that you have never had roommates. About the only thing that is relevant is that your school system is good, and that you believe you are more attentive to his ADD issues, but even then, that's not generally enough to change custody. If your son was seriously failing in school (failing grades) then that might be a change in circumstance.

    So finally, for my questions...

    I'm ready to take her to court again, fear of attorney's fees and all. I cannot retain an attorney myself - I will have to do this pro se.
    Again, you could still end up having to pay mom's legal fees even if you are pro se, if the judge feels that you are being a suit frivolously.

    I *really* want to file for emergency custody, for my son's benefit. There's no question he's changing schools again in 2 weeks. In a perfect world, I would win the 'normal' custody modification, and he will come to school here. But that's yet another change for him if I wait for the normal process, and it's killing me to keep watching this unfold and wait for the slow legal process. I feel strongly that if he's going to change schools, it should be one more time, and then enough already.
    You definitely do not have an emergency.

    In an imperfect and realistic world, I am about to face an uphill battle with this judge, who is more sympathetic for some reason to my ex than to our son and his needs. I'm praying she'll wake up and see the truth this time. But, based on past experience, am I a fool to even think about an emergency hearing for this? Does this type of instability warrant an emergency custody change, or is that type of change only reserved for bodily harm/physical threat/violence issues?
    There is absolutely no emergency here at all dad.

    Also, in reference to one of your later posts in this thread, about mom moving 4 times since 2008:

    You were the cause of her move out of the home with the roommates, into what you called a slum. You were also the catalyst for her temporary move into her parent's home and then subsequent move out.

    This new move is now over a year since her last move. I doubt that's going to be particularly viewed as unstable...AND, if you would stop getting worked up over mom having roommates, without your permission/agreement, then perhaps mom would stay in one place for a lot longer.
  7. #7
    Shears is offline Member
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    "It was totally inappropriate for you to even OBJECT to mom having roommates (unless you knew for certain and could prove it, that they were a danger to your children), let alone complain about her not disclosing that to you."

    I object to this because there is a constant in and out flow of strangers in my son's life. That may not matter legally, but it matters in a child's life. Also, my ex is in fact required to disclose to me the people living in the same home with my son.



    "Obviously a temporary move on her part so that she could save up money for better living accommodations."

    That was great in theory - except obviously she didn't follow through with that plan, which is her pattern. Also, a great way to save up money for better living accommodations is to go to work. My ex has been willfully underemployed for over 2 years now. She has reported income of $11K per year for the past 2 years. I have repeatedly offered to help in terms of child care in order for her to work. She's not interested. She's only been interested in the minimum necessary, and how to work the law to get it.



    "Nothing wrong with any of that, except that you should have been consulted on the move to public school and perhaps given the option to continue the private school at solely your cost if mom could no longer afford it."

    I was already paying for the private school, solely at my cost. I had been for a year. She again thought she would live on that money, too, and not use it for tuition. If you follow the pattern of her actions, it all comes down to money, and how she can get the most she can, for her own life and expenses, without working for it. I have yet to see one choice made that was in our child's best interest and selfless on her part. It just doesn't happen.



    "That wasn't well done on mom's behalf, but your son is only 7 NOW, so that was a bit young to assume that he needed to be diagnosed. If treatment for ADD isn't helping with his behavior, then I don't understand what is "better"."

    You demonstrate a lack of medical knowledge with these comments. Please re-read, then research, and try to understand medical terms before you comment. The treatment for ADD is helping with his attention deficit problems. That has nothing to do with the comorbid issue of Oppositional Defiant Disorder, for which he needs therapy. You don't have his full medical history, nor any understanding of the implications of these illnesses and their impact on his education and emotional health, especially if not addressed early on. If you spent some time with my son and saw how this is already affecting him you might be ashamed for attempting to be so self-righteous and judgmental.



    "Joint legal custody does not mean that you get to decide where mom lives, and therefore what public school the child attends."

    But it does legally mean I am to be consulted about changes in his schooling, and we are to discuss it. Her lack of doing so is grounds for a hearing alone - I am not to be 'notified' of these decisions as an afterthought.



    "Dad, of course mom wasn't going to agree to just hand over custody to you."

    You are making an assumption. She has not yet responded to my offer. I'm on the fence at my anticipated level of surprise if she accepts it - part of me wouldn't be too surprised, because I know money talks when it comes to her 'values'. And she knows I've not fought her one step of the way with her horrid living arrangements since court. She knows I have a leg to stand on with her instability. So I know she's thinking pretty hard about my offer right now. The only reason I've posted here is because time is of the essence, since she skipped the whole 'consulting' and 'decision-making' process inherent in the idea of joint legal custody, and therefore I need to be ready for quick decisions.



    "Its irrelevant that you are married, its irrelevant how long you have been with your wife, its irrelevant how long your wife has owned her home, its irrelevant that you have never had roommates."

    Actually according to my last attorney it's not irrelevant. I decided when I lost that custody case to do some research on the judge. I found a lot of bad press about her - horrid, sad stories. It occurred to me...there's GOT to be someone out there who likes her...who are her supporters? So I found testimonials of people who support her, and one of those was an attorney. I had a consult with him, and he told me one of best things to go back in front of this judge with was a stable marriage and home - that the judge is very favorable of the 2-parent stable home.



    "...the cause of her move out of the home with the roommates, into what you called a slum."

    Again, please re-read. I said 'self-described' slum. Meaning she called it that.



    "You were the cause of her move out of the home with the roommates, into what you called a slum. You were also the catalyst for her temporary move into her parent's home and then subsequent move out. I doubt that's going to be particularly viewed as unstable...AND, if you would stop getting worked up over mom having roommates, without your permission/agreement, then perhaps mom would stay in one place for a lot longer"

    I will certainly concede that I could have been the catalyst of the first move, when I objected to this stranger living with my son. However, after court, with a $400 increase in child support, and her being awarded attorney's fees, and then moving in with her parents...it should have been much smoother sailing for her after that. I was in no way a catalyst for all her future changes. Her decision to move out of her parents' house was hers; I didn't say a word about the subsequent roommates because she actually followed the law there and disclosed them to me. Her two moves and two school changes after court had absolutely nothing to do with me. Perhaps if mom weren't irresponsible, immature, and chaotic, and perhaps if mom thought for a few minutes about her son, mom would stay in one place for a lot longer.



    "You definitely do not have an emergency. There is absolutely no emergency here at all dad."

    Honestly, you seem to be of the school of thought that selfish, lazy, unmotivated people aren't really responsible for their own behavior, and you aren't really concerned with what's happening to the children who never asked to be born into that misery. My son is being shuffled around in her chaos. I'm trying my hardest to do the best by him. Your attitude, coupled with the fact that you have shown some mis-steps in the few legal items you did attempt to address above, makes it hard to give much weight to your definition of emergency.



    Thanks very much to those who have given actual unbiased advice, definitions, and resources.
  8. #8
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    I agree with LdiJ - I see no grounds at all for any sort of emergency filing.
  9. #9
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proserpina View Post
    I agree with LdiJ - I see no grounds at all for any sort of emergency filing.
    The worst part is, the more he talks, the more evident this isn't an emergency.

    Dad, file a regular motion, argue your points, request a GAL, and go from there.
  10. #10
    Shears is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isis1 View Post
    The worst part is, the more he talks, the more evident this isn't an emergency.

    Dad, file a regular motion, argue your points, request a GAL, and go from there.

    Thanks for the advice - I'll do that.

    I posted because this feels like an emergency *to me*. I don't want to see my child being constantly moved to a different school. It's killing me to have to keep watching this unfold and not be able to do anything until 'enough damage is done'. But I certainly realize my emergency isn't the same as a legal emergency. I really do. I'm trying to gain assistance in understanding legal grounds. The only way I know to do that is explain it all, and have someone with legal knowledge pick out the parts that matter for the court. That's what happens in an attorney's office. I just don't have the money anymore for paid legal advice.

    I'm not sure why that's 'the worst part'...my talking this out, and trying to get help for my son...? Please try to put yourself in a parent's shoes and understand the despair a person feels in this position when they love the child they're fighting for. I'm just looking for accurate, legal answers.
  11. #11
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Honey, i already wore those shoes. They got holes in them, so they've been thrown out. I got shot down quickly. Unless you are in the same school district as mom, the child will be changing schools anyway. So that arguement is a wash. And unless you somehow managed to get a hold of our FA Crystal Ball (if that's the case, i'm filing a complaint) you cannot tell the future. Your or your wife might die, get laid off, become seriously injured or for whatever other reason that may cause a decline in money and not afford you where you live now. You cannot gaurantee that.
  12. #12
    Shears is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isis1 View Post
    Honey, i already wore those shoes. They got holes in them, so they've been thrown out. I got shot down quickly. Unless you are in the same school district as mom, the child will be changing schools anyway. So that arguement is a wash. And unless you somehow managed to get a hold of our FA Crystal Ball (if that's the case, i'm filing a complaint) you cannot tell the future. Your or your wife might die, get laid off, become seriously injured or for whatever other reason that may cause a decline in money and not afford you where you live now. You cannot gaurantee that.
    I hear you.

    I guess my shoes are only very, very scuffed from the last go-round, and I still maintain a (hardheaded) sliver of hope that I can avert the trainwreck. No doubt I've had a lot of difficulty accepting the reality of the legal game.
  13. #13
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Okay. Humor me then. What is the trainwreck? Mom? Or the child?
  14. #14
    Shears is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isis1 View Post
    Okay. Humor me then. What is the trainwreck? Mom? Or the child?

    Mom. Child is forced to be along for the ride, and receive the bruises and scars from it. And, at the risk of sounding like a whiny teenager, it's just not fair to him.
  15. #15
    Shears is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shears View Post
    Mom. Child is forced to be along for the ride, and receive the bruises and scars from it. And, at the risk of sounding like a whiny teenager, it's just not fair to him.

    ...which I guess would then mean my concern is more for getting him off the train than averting the trainwreck...
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