What age can child choose parent to live with?

[MrsCinAZ]

What is the name of your state? AZ, but CO has jurisdiction

Situation...

Dad lives in AZ, mother lives in IN, but CO has jurisdiction, as that is where mother used to live and court orders are.

Mother and Dad were never married. Mother has physical custody of their son, but Dad and Mother have shared parenting, with Dad having visitation roughly 10-12 weeks/year (due to distance). Dad actively involved with son, as much as he can be, with resistance from Mother who is uncooperative at best. She has threatened to deny visitation several times, has interfered with phone contact repeatedly (court orders allow for liberal phone contact but all she has is a cell phone that doesn't have voice mail and she rarely answers it and doesn't tell son when dad calls or have son call dad).

Son will be 12 in Feb 2007 and desperately wants to live with Dad. Son is afraid to tell Mom for fear of getting into trouble with her and knows she will make him miserable. We know if/when Mom finds out, she will not agree to it as she believes she will have custody until he's 18 no matter what. Experience tells us she's in it for the child support, and it seems largely that is all she cares about. Son is not happy with living mom and step-dad, but there is nothing major enough for courts to change custody, except his desire to live with dad. He hates going back to mom, when he visits. Son expresses his feelings about Mom and his desire to live with Dad ALL the time to everyone, except Mom. Dad does not sway son or push him on the issue, it is truly the sons wishes to live with dad. He tells everyone he can't wait until he's old enough so he can tell the judge he wants to be with Dad.

I know in certain states the child can be 12 and his voice is heard on where he chooses to live. Does anyone know CO courts to know age they listen to child or possibly the procedure to get his voice heard? I've heard stories of children who go to visit the parent they want to live with and say they want to stay and there is nothing the other parent can do...but is this true and how can it be that easy?

Any thoughts would be appreciated

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? AZ, but CO has jurisdiction
Situation...
Dad lives in AZ, mother lives in IN, but CO has jurisdiction, as that is where mother used to live and court orders are.

Mother and Dad were never married. Mother has physical custody of their son, but Dad and Mother have shared parenting, with Dad having roughly 10-12 weeks/year (due to distance) visitation. Dad actively involved with son, as much as he can be, with resistance from Mother who is uncooperative at best. She has threatened to deny visitation several times, has interfered with phone contact repeatedly (court orders allow for liberal phone contact but all she has is a cell phone that doesn't have voice mail and she rarely answers it and doesn't tell son when dad calls or have son call dad).

Son will be 12 in Feb 2007 and desperately wants to live with Dad. Son is afraid to tell Mom for fear of getting into trouble with her and knows she will make him miserable. We know if/when Mom finds out, she will not agree to it as she believes she will have custody until he's 18 no matter what. Experience tells us she's in it for the child support, and it seems largely that is all she cares about. Son is not happy with living mom and step-dad, but there is nothing major enough for courts to change custody, except his desire to live with dad. He hates going back to mom, when he visits. Son expresses his feelings about Mom and his desire to live with Dad ALL the time to everyone, except Mom. Dad does not sway son or push him on the issue, it is truly the sons wishes to live with dad. He tells everyone he can't wait until he's old enough so he can tell the judge he wants to be with Dad.

I know in certain states the child can be 12 and his voice is heard on where he chooses to live. Does anyone know CO courts to know age they listen to child or possibly the procedure to get his voice heard? I've heard stories of children who go to visit the parent they want to live with and say they want to stay and there is nothing the other parent can do...but is this true and how can it be that easy?

Any thoughts would be appreciated

I'm in CO. But this q is asked/answered about, oh, a zillion times per week. Use the SEARCH function. Or else the answer is 18.

 

[ceara19]

Let me guess, you're dad's new wife?

 

[MrsCinAZ]

Wow...what nice folks you have here

Nice responses guys. Look, I realize I'm new, and am not totally familiar with the things on this site. However I DID use search button and did NOT find an answer to my specific question.

I am not asking about visitation, I am asking about the child living with the parent. And I know for a fact that several states listen to and grant the wishes of a child at age 12. I just can't seem to find specific information on Colorado, hence the reason I posted on this board.

All I'm asking for is a nice response. And yes, I am the "new" wife if you want to call me that, but I'm not new. We've been together for 8 years and he was never married before, but why it makes a difference to the question I don't know, unless you're being snippy. What's wrong with trying to help your husband, who is not internet savy, get answers and help for his child?

If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't respond.

 

[moburkes]

If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't respond.

Who are you to tell someone what to do? The legal age is at 18, when they are an adult. If you'd like further information, I suggest that you use google.

 

[CJane]

And I know for a fact that several states listen to and grant the wishes of a child at age 12. I just can't seem to find specific information on Colorado, hence the reason I posted on this board.

That's because the information doesn't exist. There's ONE state in the US where a child can unilaterally decide to live with either parent while still a minor. That state is not CO and the age is not 12.

In another state, at 12, a child can fill out an affidavit stating who they'd like to live with and the judge will consider their wishes, but still rules using the 'best interest' standard. That state is not CO.

In every other state that I'm aware of, the court will 'consider the wishes of the child' based on maturity level, the reasons the child gives, etc. Rarely will the courts ask a child to testify and 'choose' the other parent - this is usually done via a GAL being appointed to represent the child's best interest.

More importantly though, one must have cause to modify the current custody order. The child's wishes are NOT cause. Has there been a significant change in the child's circumstances recently, that have had such an enormous impact on his life that you believe your husband could justify to the court that it would be in the child's best interests to be removed from his mother, his home, his friends, his school, etc. and move 1/2 way across the country?

 

[fairisfair]

That's because the information doesn't exist. There's ONE state in the US where a child can unilaterally decide to live with either parent while still a minor. That state is not CO and the age is not 12.

In another state, at 12, a child can fill out an affidavit stating who they'd like to live with and the judge will consider their wishes, but still rules using the 'best interest' standard. That state is not CO.

In every other state that I'm aware of, the court will 'consider the wishes of the child' based on maturity level, the reasons the child gives, etc. Rarely will the courts ask a child to testify and 'choose' the other parent - this is usually done via a GAL being appointed to represent the child's best interest.

More importantly though, one must have cause to modify the current custody order. The child's wishes are NOT cause. Has there been a significant change in the child's circumstances recently, that have had such an enormous impact on his life that you believe your husband could justify to the court that it would be in the child's best interests to be removed from his mother, his home, his friends, his school, etc. and move 1/2 way across the country?

Kudos to you CJane for a very polite post, to a very impolite poster.

 

[CJane]

Kudos to you CJane for a very polite post, to a very impolite poster.

Not bad for a snarky b*tch who recently quit smoking and hasn't had her quota of caffiene for the day, huh? Must be that raise I just got.

 

[Silverplum]

Nice responses guys. Look, I realize I'm new, and am not totally familiar with the things on this site. However I DID use search button and did NOT find an answer to my specific question.

Naw. If you'd used the SEARCH function, you'd know the answer.

I am not asking about visitation, I am asking about the child living with the parent. And I know for a fact that several states listen to and grant the wishes of a child at age 12. I just can't seem to find specific information on Colorado, hence the reason I posted on this board.

I know (we all can read) you're asking about living w/parent and not visitation. Same answer applies. And IF you knew "for a fact" then you would be able to find it via google. Since you can't, what does that tell you??

All I'm asking for is a nice response. And yes, I am the "new" wife if you want to call me that, but I'm not new. We've been together for 8 years and he was never married before, but why it makes a difference to the question I don't know, unless you're being snippy. What's wrong with trying to help your husband, who is not internet savy, get answers and help for his child?

SEARCH FUNCTION answers this q, too.

If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't respond.

Oooh, bossy.

 

[Ohiogal]

Nice responses guys. Look, I realize I'm new, and am not totally familiar with the things on this site. However I DID use search button and did NOT find an answer to my specific question.

I am not asking about visitation, I am asking about the child living with the parent. And I know for a fact that several states listen to and grant the wishes of a child at age 12. I just can't seem to find specific information on Colorado, hence the reason I posted on this board.

YOU ARE WRONG -- your facts are all wrong and aren't actual facts! Who taught you those facts -- it sure as heck wasn't any law school in the country. Courts do not GRANT THE WISHES OF 12 year olds in custody matters. In GA -- the only state that allows a child to choose -- they grant the child's wish at the age of 14. In Texas they start listening to a child at the age of 12 however that doesn't mean the child's wish determines.


All I'm asking for is a nice response. And yes, I am the "new" wife if you want to call me that, but I'm not new. We've been together for 8 years and he was never married before, but why it makes a difference to the question I don't know, unless you're being snippy. What's wrong with trying to help your husband, who is not internet savy, get answers and help for his child?

If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't respond.

If you want to get responses then you really need to understand a few things like the TOS and the fact that the search issue works very well.