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At what age can a child make the decision where to live?

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ricourt30

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?undefinedNorth Carolina
My daughter, who is 8 now, says and has said that she wants to come live with me. My soon to be ex has custody due to the fact that we wanted to keep things simple and comfortable for our son 11 and daughter 8. Plus I didn't have the money to fight and he did. What can I do to get her home with me? :confused:
 


seniorjudge

Senior Member
ricourt30 said:
What is the name of your state?undefinedNorth Carolina
My daughter, who is 8 now, says and has said that she wants to come live with me. My soon to be ex has custody due to the fact that we wanted to keep things simple and comfortable for our son 11 and daughter 8. Plus I didn't have the money to fight and he did. What can I do to get her home with me? :confused:
If y'all can't settle this, a judge will.

I doubt if there is anything set in stone on what age a child can decide in your state.

The judge looks at the child and the parents and the total circumstances.

And then makes a decision none of y'all may like.
 

ricourt30

Junior Member
Exactly what do you mean be this.

seniorjudge said:
If y'all can't settle this, a judge will.

I doubt if there is anything set in stone on what age a child can decide in your state.

The judge looks at the child and the parents and the total circumstances.

And then makes a decision none of y'all may like.
What do you mean makes a decision none of ya'll may like?
Can you please explain?
 

seniorjudge

Senior Member
ricourt30 said:
What do you mean makes a decision none of ya'll may like?
Can you please explain?
Family court judges often make decisions that no one involved likes.

Therefore, the best solution is to get it settled.

The second best solution is to have a judge tell you what to do.

And none of y'all may like what the judge says.
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
ricourt30 said:
What do you mean makes a decision none of ya'll may like?
Can you please explain?

the judge is under no obligation to give any of you exactly what you would be asking for.
 
My advice is work it out before going through the hassle of attorneys, court date/hearings and having a judge in a blink of an eye decide something that none of you want to live with.
 

CJane

Senior Member
Are you considering leaving the boy with dad? What happened to simple and comfortable? Is the child being cared for properly? What does she state as reasons for wanting to live with you instead? I assume dad kept the family home? How close do you live to dad? What visitation would you be proposing that would ensure that dad has frequent contact with daughter, you have frequent contact with son, and the kids have frequent contact with each other?

That's only the tip of the proverbial iceberg when it comes to things that will be taken into consideration.
 

CJane

Senior Member
stealth2 said:
And generally, the wishes of an 8yo will not be given a great deal of weight.
Nor, IMO should they be. It's amazing to me how many people think that a child should be given the right/responsibility to make such decisions. My 8 y/o would never attend school, go to the Dr or do anything else except play with her dog and ride her horse. lol
 

ricourt30

Junior Member
Reply to you

CJane said:
Are you considering leaving the boy with dad? What happened to simple and comfortable? Is the child being cared for properly? What does she state as reasons for wanting to live with you instead? I assume dad kept the family home? How close do you live to dad? What visitation would you be proposing that would ensure that dad has frequent contact with daughter, you have frequent contact with son, and the kids have frequent contact with each other?

That's only the tip of the proverbial iceberg when it comes to things that will be taken into consideration.
Yes, he wants to stay with his father mainly because of his PaPa. We are keeping things simple and comfortable. They both are being cared for by their PaPa. I would guess she wants to live with me because she misses me and would like to be with her mom. Do you call a druggie someone who kept the home? I live 30min away from their father. She would see her father whenever she wanted. I am not trying to take her away completely. You people are so darn judgemental and you don't even know the whole story.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
We know what you deem important enough to tell us, and form our opinions based on that information. So who's to blame if there's not enough info?
 
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